Nobody has Ever Blamed PETA for not Being TOO Over the Top

And they’re not quitting yet. Now, for the record, I’m with PETA on most things (although I am not a vegetarian). I fully support their stance against killing animals for fur. In fact if I was younger, and had more time, money and energy, I’d be hanging out in Aspen throwing fake blood on the celebs’ fur coats as they exited expensive restaurants too! And I think PETA has done a great job in raising public awareness of the callous treatment of animals in laboratory settings for research purposes.

But, ya know, renaming fish as “sea kittens” is just plain silly.

People don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you’re swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.

Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You’ve done enough damage, buddy. We’ve got it from here. And we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?

Ask the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to stop promoting sea kitten hunting.

(Spoiler alert: hot, sexy banned Super Bowl ad after the fold)

I don’t wish to under emphasize the issues with the fishing industry: the over fishing of certain species and the collateral damage to dolphins and other sea creatures due to fishing methods. In addition, contamination of some species of fish, due to the fact that they live in contaminated waters, is an increasing problem. But this juvenile campaign does exactly that. It elevates the fish to the level of cuddly widdle pets and lets the real villains in this story wiggle off the hook so to speak. And pretty much invites snark - I can hear the macho guys yelling for another helping of fried sea kitty now.

Fish is still an important part of a balanced and healthy diet. It’s high in proteins, low in cholesterol and a good source of Omega-3 fatty acids, vitamins and minerals. Properly prepared, it is also yum, yummy too (and make mine raw as in sashimi!)

PETA has also put out the proposition that vegetarians make better lovers in this (rejected) Super Bowl ad:

‘Veggie Love’: PETA’s Banned Super Bowl Ad

Dang! Who knew broccoli was so sexay?

Posted by marindenver on 01/31/09 at 02:59 PM • Permalink

Categories: Knee Slappers • Messylaneous • Politics • Editorials •

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Hmmmm ... where did I leave my cellophane bag of green army men?

Comment by poputonian on 01/31/09 at 03:50 PM

Oh God, not the bag of green army men. My ribs can’t take it.

People don’t seem to like fish.

Uh, I know people who have staggering energy bills because they’re running several aquariums. And yes, a person with a tank full of sick fish is just as sad as a person with a sick cat or dog.

And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?

Why, the same people who want to ruthlessly murder pre-born womb babies!

FAIL.

Comment by Hunger Tallest Palin on 01/31/09 at 03:56 PM

a person with a tank full of sick fish is just as sad as a person with a sick cat or dog

e.g. my mother, except it is only one fish that is sick. But she is still sad.

Comment by poputonian on 01/31/09 at 04:04 PM

Ah, PETA. Because of my adherence to their cause when I was young, stupid and easily influenced by fluffy baby animals, I still scream “Paint Ball!!!!” in my head every time I pass someone wearing a fur coast.

Comment by gimmeabreak on 01/31/09 at 04:12 PM

Now, for the record, I’m with PETA on most things

And I’m with most things on pita, especially that tasty rotating meat that comes on a spit. The world needs heroes.

Comment by sean on 01/31/09 at 06:08 PM

Ah, PETA. Because of my adherence to their cause when I was young, stupid and easily influenced by fluffy baby animals, I still scream “Paint Ball!!!!” in my head every time I pass someone wearing a fur coast.

Fur is what ostentatious asshats wore to announce that they’re ostentatious asshats before the Hummer was invented. I could never get with PETA because of my critter cravings. (And boots. Gotta have leather boots.) However, wearing fur strikes me as stupid for a number of reasons including: 1. It requires a lot of care or it falls apart. 2. Everyone wears it inside out. I saw a lot of people wearing them during the inauguration and as best I can tell they were southerners who’d grabbed what they thought was the warmest thing in their closet.

Oh well. One day the minks will figure out what’s going on and I’ll be the dude NOT being chewed to pieces by those vicious little bastards.

Comment by Hunger Tallest Palin on 01/31/09 at 06:57 PM

Oh well. One day the minks will figure out what’s going on and I’ll be the dude NOT being chewed to pieces by those vicious little bastards.

Was that Firesign Theater that did the bit about the Chinchillas? And the nair guards. So they can’t <strike>breathe</strike> breed? Doesn’t have a name, they’re all the same? Or am I just hallucinating.

And I’m with most things on pita

Middle eastern sea kitteh tacos, yum!

Comment by marindenver on 01/31/09 at 07:40 PM

I have to agree with you, I am with PETA for the most part on almost everything they do, I CHOOSE to buy cage free, organic eggs cause I can. I CHOOSE to buy Organic salad cause I can, However some of their “prowls” tend to leave me tepid.

Comment by Litlebritdifrnt on 01/31/09 at 08:48 PM

The seas will be empty in another fifty years so quit yer bitchin

Comment by scooter on 02/01/09 at 02:24 AM

I’m personally sick of PETA’s blatant sexism. Have they ever used naked men in their ads? Or aren’t hetero women anf gay men targets of PETA constant sexually-based propaganda?

Comment by bargal20 on 02/01/09 at 03:52 AM

I don’t understand why PETA doesn’t stop protesting fur, and instead go into the fur-garment business themselves. See ‘PETA and Euthanasia,’ Newsweek, April 2008 http://www.newsweek.com/id/134549/

Comment by pete on 02/01/09 at 10:54 AM

I personally disagree with PETAs stance on euthanizing pets in shelters. The largest shelter in our area recently went to a no-kill policy and it’s been very successful. They do a lot of outreach and work with other, smaller pet rescue organizations who sponsor adoption fairs all over the metro area. I don’t think there is any reason to euthanize a healthy, adoptable pet just for lack of adequate outreach.

Unfortunately that attitude has led me to adopt probably more animals than I actually need! ;-)