Nope-Got No Sole

Okay—that title is lifted from a tweet from Jonathan Capehart, who documents the silliness of the “Shoe Truthers” with a trace of the exasperation any sane person might feel when examining the actual serious thought processes of people who might be a wee bit paranoid a lot.

I’m kind of an uptight thinker who seldom strays into the fanciful except to atomize a yet-more out-there notion—so let me boringly put a damper on this thing: there is obviously no way for any person to aim a shoe that they were wearing at a public figure and then hobble off scot-free. They are certain to be apprehended—any fancy of flight would prove, well, bootless.  Any collusion to plant a person in an audience to launch a shoe would involve some connecting factor, because once charged with a federal offense (and a savvy lawyer like Hillary Clinton would have known this much) any stooge paid off to, for some kind of reason, launch a shoe at her, would roll like the mighty Mississippi. Who would bargain away their freedom for X-untraceable amount of funds for a PR scheme? The sane folks who’d go for that are few and far between, and there are many limiting factors involved in employing someone who would not be classified as mentally fit.

And let’s consider the PR downsides, which are numerous. Getting smacked upside the old bean with a sneaker would be ungraceful, so one might study to avoid head to tennie contact. Ducking is, itself, a kind of submissive posture. The actual fact of anyone launching an athletic shoe at one implies unpopularity—there is no good reason anyone would want to portray that level of unpopularity. A “lone shoe-er” is a poor representative of anything like a “vast, right-wing conspiracy”, so activating sympathetic historical memes is out…leaving what exactly? A footwear fetish?

So fine, you are left with the spectacle of a former First Lady, US Senator, and Secretary of State ducking and covering from a podalic projectile because that’s the way she likes it. Uh huh? Uh huh. That is some serious stupid.  I do not know what to make of anyone who would stupid that hard.

(X-posted at Strangely Blogged.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 04/15/14 at 11:37 PM • Permalink

Categories: I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What I LikeMessylaneousPoliticsElection '16Hillary ClintonNutters

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I do not know what to make of anyone who would stupid that hard.

And this is only the pre-game stupid . . . imagine what fun we’ll have in 2015!

You’re stupid too hard, uh-pushin’ on me
You’re stupid too hard, uh-what you want me to be
You’re stupid too hard about the things you say
You’re stupid too hard every night and day
You’re stupid too hard
stupid too hard on me
(Too hard)

Well all I want is to just be free
From all of your lies about Benghazi
Someone throws a shoe and it never stops
Conspiracy theories till the other shoe drops
But you’re stupid too hard
Stupid too hard on me
(Too hard)

Read more: Seeds - Pushin’ Too Hard Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Shoethers?

It’s a vast right-foot conspiracy!

The only thing I got out of the whole deal was that Mme. Clinton was taking a (legal) bribe from her audience, the Institute of Scrap Recycling Industries.

Probably not the message she wants America to hear.

SHOEGHAZI!!

Ecco terrorism!

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