The Guardian liveblog’s billing this as “a two-man affair.” Poor Rick. Always the bridesmaid.

I’ll just leave you with that image as I top up my glass and get a blankie.

Oh my. Not even a mention of the little mad doctor, whatsisname? RonPaulstillskin?

Apparently the good doctor’s declaration of love for Iran didn’t go down too well with the SC electorate earlier in the week.

And we’re off!

Lord, these “fight night” growly-voiced lead-ins always crack me up.

I’m not sure, but judging by the set dressing, CNN may have some involvement in this debate.

Darn, missed the Pledge! CNN, you Liberal Anti-American Media Elites!

And who won the coin toss?

“Get comfortable at their podiums.” Mmmm. My podium has rich Corinthian leather. And a pitcher of sweet tea. And bendy straws.

We’re straight in with the ex-wife thing.

King: “Would you like to take some time to respond to that?”

Newt: No ...

Crowd gets restive

Newt: ... But I will.

Crowd collectively wets itself.

Newt now saddling up high horse.

Newt: South! I’m from it!

King: In your face, Mr. Speaker!

Newt: My ex-wife’s pain is something I’M supposed to exploit, damn Media Trashmonger! How dare you mention such trash as my philandering!

Newt is now at war with CNN.

I’m sure ABC has Marianne on speed-dial.

Hey, Newt says she’s a liar. That’s good enough for me.

Rick: I thank God for forgiveness…BUT.

Lovely difference splitting, little Grimley-alike.

For balance, I guess they should have asked the other candidates how they felt about threesomes.

Ron Paul: these are mere distractions, and my wife OF TWO CENTURIES AGREES WITH ME.

Hee hee, Ron Paul said “hump.” Why must he torture Newt so?

So far only two hits on that old Ron Paul Eyebrowgate post. Guess we’re moving on from all that.

Can Newt lose after that opening? I say he wins the SC primary unless he takes a dump onstage at some point.

Mitt: Crony capitalism must be stopped! My ability to ship capitalism overseas is unquestioned!

Mitt stammers on job math, having never before been asked to show his work.

Can Newt lose after that opening?

CNN screwed up by having King use that as the opener. For one thing, if he’d held off till later or let it come up from the crowd, it would have been fun to watch Newt sweat as he waited for the bomb to drop.

@ Betty: Newt’s sword is now the most honored sword in the South second to Robert E. Lee’s.

This Barack Obama they’re going on about sounds like a real asshole. Is there nothing that can be done?

Snowflake Snooki must be pea-green with envy! They’ve stolen her media attack and crony capitalism lines!

Santorum: Cutting military budgets after wars are concluded is unprecedented!

Mittens: I will continue to pour money into the military no matter how little sense it makes!

Newt: My father fought so hard, he was veteran enough for both of us!

They’ve stolen her media attack and crony capitalism lines!

This has not gone unnoticed at C4P:

I swear….Sarah is rent free in their heads!!!!

I’m looking for some Newt love over there tonight, given his (arguably illegal) insistence that Palin would have a key role in his administration.

Wait, isn’t insurance all ready being run like a market? Yea, THAT’S been successful.  :P

Grimley-alike

Ah God I can’t unsee it now!

I’m going to double down on my promise to find a reason why my promise to get rid of ObamaCare is likely to be broken.

But I have private sector experience in selling off useful stuff for immediate gain, so don’t despair.

Newt: HERE FIDO! WHRRRRRRRRRRRRPPP!!

Santorum: Who the hell would vote for Mitt or Newt?

Sorry, just couldn’t listen more than 5 minutes. Carry on everyone. I’d rather be editing the novel I can’t stand at the moment….

C4P breaking hard for Santorum at the moment.

I restrained myself there.

Newt threatening three-hour debate with Obama.

Newt goes full Tea Party PrompTerPander!

When Ron Paul is the voice of reason pointing out that it’s not going to be feasible to just repeal the ACA, it shows how far these debates have come.

Wow, Ron Paul manages to sound reasonable and be absolutely insanely unintelligible at the same time.  Paul for Preznut!!!

Brit - I agree with what he said about ACA but the rest of it was just stringing words together.  Back to the gold standard I say!

This debate is apparently sponsored by Coal. I feel so dirty.

Be interesting to see any signs of a breaktime pep talk from Mitt’s staffers. He’s floundering under multiple attacks at the moment.

the rest of it was just stringing words together

Oh yeah. Which of the earlier candidates also pointed out that you couldn’t just repeal it? Was it Bachmann, before she changed tack?

Ricky:  I do believe I can win!  I do! I do! I do!

Poor Reagan, exhumation must be an awful bore by now.

And Newt managed to create MILLIONS of jobs as Speaker. That it was during Clinton’s presidency has nothing to do with it, nothing at all!

And Newt managed to create MILLIONS of jobs as Speaker.

He balanced the budget four years in a row, you know.

He should point that out at some point.

Willard’s eyes have a dark hooded look to them that almost convinces me he’s the devil.

Wowsers. Santorum just Rochambeau’d the Speaker.

Newt: I was a rebel when you weren’t in long pants, youngster! That’s HISTORIC FACTS! From a HISTORIAN!

Newt: I initiated prosecutions against a whole bunch of people.

Yup. And it came back and bit you in the ass, didn’t it, Newtie, you old crim.

Mitt’s describing his ideal candidate.

Mitt Romney.

“Please allow me to introduce myself - I’m a man of wealth and fame”  OH GOD, I’M SCARING MYSELF!!

Are we going to send people to Washington who spent their lives there, or people who spent their lives in the STREETS like Willard?

Did Mitt just hyperventilate?

Yikes, I accidentally clicked the “X” on my livescreen tab and the debate ended.  Which coincided rather happily with the timer going off in the kitchen to say “Dinner!!” so I’m outta here.  Have fun guys!

Ha, ha, it’s Fun Facts round robin time!

Reagan only mentioned Newt once, but Willard flubs and reminds us that Reagan talked about his dad.

RonPaulStkillSkin believes in the gold standard, but his pockets are full of straw anyway.

Newt’s taxes are available for inspection.

Willard’s tax returns are Obamaobamaobamaobamaobamaobama.

Santorum wins the most Man O The People Tax Return Invitational!

Crowd heckling Mitt. His caginess on taxes and pandering with “I’m not going to apologize for being successful” is painful to watch. BWAHAHA

That whimsical Mitt doesn’t know what he’ll do about releasing those tax returns.

And he went out on his own, with nothing but his Ivy-League education and name to help him!

@YAFB: “Crim”? You’ve already given us “git” and “prat”! Another gift! We’re not worthy!

The right to an eighty hour work week, securely locked exit doors, and wages that won’t bump Americans into higher tax brackets, that’s what all the GOP can agree on.

Ten million people Googled “George Romney will public record” five minutes ago…

@YAFB: “Crim”?

I was trying to be polite, given there are laydeez present!

How could that be?

If he keeps pushing Newt, the world may find out in the next segment.

Child chocolate slaves!?!? WTF? Haven’t I already given up college football? Goddamn it!

Yay for European welfare states! (Someone had to say it.)

Newt: if I had one thing to do over again, it would be to blame more people for my own bizarre behavior.

Mitt: I can too be a daring rule violator, see me ignore this stupid question you asked me?

Tough crowd for Romney over at C4P:

“Barack Obama is way over his head.”

Mitt Romney

No, Mitt, Obama is NOT incompetent or not dumb. He knows exactly what he is doing. This is the #1 reason I do not want to see you as the GOP nominee, not having the guts to deem Obama a socialist or a Marxist.

Paul: “What would I do different? I’d waffle less.” [Response edited down from the original 25-minute version.]

Newt: Don’t deport Grandmas! Just make them go back to their own countries and wait!

Mitt: My landscapers ought to have been sanctioned for embarrassing me!

Santorum: “I’ll show you where you displayed a glimmer of humanity!”

Romney: “Did not! No pathway to citizenship! I’ve believed that at least since the last election cycle!”

Poor RonPaulStillSkin. In Texas, how they suffer from taking care of the fruit-pickers and their children.

Oh, he was in the military, btw. I don’t know if any of you knew that.

Mitt getting huffy with Newt: “I’m not used to having my integrity called into question.”

How long has this campaign been going now?

Mittens spitting slightly on the Plosives in Pro-Life.

Mitt: “Yes, I’ve been totally in over my head from time to time, but I’m a nice guy.”

Mr. Moderator, don’t trifle with the little Doctor. His Posse does not approve.

This just reminds me that Paul is an Ob/Gyn, which is more than a bit disturbing.

Newt was looking a little abashed when Mitt was banging on about abstinence education, perked up at the mention of the morning after pill. Just saying.

And so much for ladybits. Time for another break.

And so much for social media questions when Paulliacs are in the house!

Ron Paul unironically using “Modest Proposal.”

Newt senses the need to close the deal. Goes full-on Bond villain.

Newt: that Socialist is DANGEROUS. Elect a grandiose, lying huckster instead!

Mitt: I am entitled to fight entitlements!

Santorum: “Conviction Conservative.”

Nice. It’s earnest, like a verbal sweatervest.

Oy. We’re done. At least I’m unlikely to suffer Shaun Hannity if I hang onto the live feed this time.

Highlights/lowlights?

Newt’s “How dare you believe a word my ex-wife says?!” opener

Mitt’s discomfiture at the question of releasing his taxes (you’d think he’d have a slick response to that by now)

Brit, it’s CNN! The worst you might encounter might be Erick Eri—

—oh craptastic. Stick with the live feed.

Yes, the double-whammy of “How DARE you use the pain of my lying ex-wife” is hard to top for lowness.

Romney’s hominahominahomina moments were all quite enjoyable.

Also Mitt’s efforts to make himself out as Horatio Alger were cute.

Joe Klein and the HuffPo guy on MSNBC are saying Romney was unflappable. WTF? Did they see the tax return thing?

Betty, what were they watching? Mittens was channeling Jackie Gleason selling A APPLE CORER.

I’m sure every pundit’s parroting this right now because it was so obvious, but that was as poor a showing as I recall from Romney. When he wasn’t coming across as dissembling or defensive, he was looking strangely pained.

It was probably Newt’s night. I guess it depends how many people can stomach the guy, even in the GOP. The initial blow-up was red meat to the base.

Santorum may still be a dark horse, though. Not least on the basis of being neither of the above.

Paul? Didn’t have a chance to get fired up and really draw a contrast with the others. The closest he came was vs. santorum on abortion and the 10th Amendment. Other than that, he rambled even more than usual.

Did they see the tax return thing?

Heck, did they see the DEBATE?!

Santorum was pretty feisty, and I thought he drew blood from both Newt and Mitt. Has anybody else heard “conviction conservative” before?

Has anybody else heard “conviction conservative” before?

Well, yeah. In the same sentence, separated by an article and a noun or two.

I’ve also been enjoying C4P’s insistence that Moosilla invented the term “crony capitalism.”

I suppose it’s like the Internet, with fewer tubes.

My husband was trapped watching some of the debate while on the Stairmaster at the gym.  It made him so angry he had to increase the speed of the machine because he was outrunning it. 

Usually he lets politics run right off his back but the pander-fest that has been every single one of the Rethug debates finally got to him.  Well, that and the bit of info that came out to day about Romney having money in the Caymans…

Nurse 1:  Hey, we’ve got a baby that looks just like Groucho Marx.

Nurse 2: Rrrrip…. Naw, Dr. Paul lost an eyebrow.

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Geez, Glix, as if we hadn’t been left with enough unpleasant images to keep us sleepless for the rest of this demented passion play.

Passion! Urghhh! Now where is that bottle of Arrack got to, anyway?

(standing ovation)