Pawlenty Announces POTUS Run in Guided Relaxation Video

Imagine you’re floating on a gently rolling sea of flags, balloons and stock footage. Good. Now, imagine an America where Fred Rogers and Pat Paulsen had a son, and he wants you to vote for him.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 05/23/11 at 06:13 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '12

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His own wife apparently doesn’t find him very exciting. Iowa voters will likely be counting the ceiling tiles too.

@ 1:40, is he playing hockey in figure skates? WTF, Minnesota?

Pawlenty. Because America’s bridges are too goddam strong.

This time—white people will do the hugging of our soldiers. I think that’s the subtext.

Aimai

@Xecky - I was thinking it lacks the music to London Bridge is Falling Down in the background.

“where Fred Rogers and Pat Paulsen had a son”

Dear Strange,

That was inspired! Thank you very much for making me spew coffee all over the keyboard.

If Fred Rogers and Pat Paulsen had a son, he would be eminently more qualified that this quisling.

Show, don’t tell.  If your point is you grew up in a crappy town, name and show the crappy town.  If your point is that the president lies and you don’t, mention something he lied about.  Basically, show something besides Pawlenty’s stupid ass face as much as possible.  Are his wife or daughters hot?  You could show that. 

And no red meat to speak of!  The shot of the TelePrompTer was a nice dogwhistle, though kind of underscored by him later clearly reading off of one.  At least he doesn’t look as painfully constipated as he does on the masthead of timpawlenty.com, but my guess is if he really understood how insane the people involved in the Iowa Republican primaries are, he would’ve gone with the fake southern drawl again

Pawlenty ‘12: “You’ve never heard of me, and I might not have any ideas, but at least I’m not good at giving speeches.”

Comment by Angry Geometer on 05/23/11 at 01:43 PM

I don’t drink, do drugs, etc. How the HELL am I gonna put up with eighteen months of having to read about Ratface Pawlenty without the use of some kind of illegal substance?  Help me out, people!

Anyone else remember this?

“I think we can learn a lot from that situation. Not from Tiger, but from his wife. So, she said, ‘I’ve had enough.’ She said, ‘No more.’ I think we should take a page outta her playbook and take a nine iron and smash the window out of big government in this country. We’ve had enough.”
— Tim Pawlenty, speaking at CPAC 2010

T. Paw may have just signed his campaign’s death certificate on the same day he said he was running: he’s in Iowa making speeches, one of which included the idea that corn subsidies for ethanol should be eliminated, and all agricultural subsidies should be “on the table”.  That should fly real nice in Iowa, Ohio, farmbeltistan, etc.

he’s in Iowa making speeches, one of which included the idea that corn subsidies for ethanol should be eliminated,

He’s going for all that mavericky goodness.

Eyes on the prize tire-swing.

AG, true, but on the other hand, no one outside of Minnesota knows who the hell he is, and this gives T-Paw face time.  He’s white and he’s serious!

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