Personal Foul—Roughing the Pontiff—15 Yards and a Mandatory Psych Eval

A “mentally unstable” woman jumped the ropes at St. Peter’s Basilica and dragged the 82-year-old Pope Benedict to the floor at tonight’s Christmas Mass. He was reported to be unhurt, and proceeded with the ceremony.

Cell-phone footage of the attack is here, and it’s pretty shocking.

According to the Prophecies of St. Malachy, there’s only one more Pope after Benedict. Obviously, some people are way too anxious to find out if Malachy was right…and the CBS report raises so many doubts about Benedict’s health you’d think they’ve already started an office pool.

I’m no fan of this Pope or Popes in general, but I really wish that Teh Crazy would stay home and chill at least one night a year. The whole world needs to grab a juice box and a Fruit Roll-Up, and take a time-out on the nap mat. This handbasket is going to Hell plenty fast already.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 12/25/09 at 12:44 AM • Permalink

Categories: Messylaneous • News • Relijun •

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The Swiss Guard are certainly dressing down, aren’t they? They should go back to the helmets and battle axes. Not only would she not have been able to get more than a few yards, but they would have made a much more decorative pile-up.

Comment by Mrs. Polly on 12/25/09 at 01:12 AM

Bah, it could have been worse. What if it had been a berserk altar boy, or that (so I’m told) cute young priest/appointment secretary of his that suddenly went nuts. In a moment of confusion, he might have thought it was foreplay and forgotten where he was, then proceeded to behave in a most inappropriate manner.

Thank goodness it was a woman whut attacked him - straight-up attempted assault, with no messy psychosexual undertones.