Piddler on the Roof

Shorter Ross Douchehat: We must preserve imaginary relationships between theoretical people at the expense of real relationships between real people (via MY):

This ideal holds up the commitment to lifelong fidelity and support by two sexually different human beings — a commitment that involves the mutual surrender, arguably, of their reproductive self-interest — as a uniquely admirable kind of relationship. It holds up the domestic life that can be created only by such unions, in which children grow up in intimate contact with both of their biological parents, as a uniquely admirable approach to child-rearing. And recognizing the difficulty of achieving these goals, it surrounds wedlock with a distinctive set of rituals, sanctions and taboos.

Got it? Ross has a pretty picture in his head of the prince and princess riding off into the sunset where they live happily ever after in a big castle that looks just like the Barbie Princess Castle Playset.

The thought that two princes* or two princesses might do the same thing simply ruins everything for him. Boo. Hoo. So America must stick this ideal between two acid-free sheets of paper and lock it up in an air-tight safe marked “Heteros Only” so the kw33rs, people who understand the Constitution and people who object to bigotry don’t get their filthy hands on it or the Barbie Castle.

He says all of this, even though he admits his pretty picture has practically bugger all to do with reality:

Or at least, it was the Western understanding. Lately, it has come to co-exist with a less idealistic, more accommodating approach, defined by no-fault divorce, frequent out-of-wedlock births, and serial monogamy.

The more these assholes stand athwart the roof yelling “Tradition!” the more they slip and crack their balls. I’m sure it will cease to amuse eventually. But for now, let’s see that again in slow motion!

*Yes, a joke about queens would be terribly predictable.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/09/10 at 11:00 PM • Permalink

Categories: LGBT • Politics • Bedwetters •

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Has Chunky David Brooks reproduced yet? If not, why not? Has something gone wrong with his semen or something?

Comment by Betty Cracker on 08/09/10 at 11:45 PM

People who can’t grasp the meaning of “all men are created equal” and the idea that they should have “equal protection under the law” and the concept of separation of church and state should not be allowed to get married for fear they might produce offspring.

Comment by Glix on 08/10/10 at 02:39 AM

Lately, it has come to co-exist with a less idealistic, more accommodating approach, defined by no-fault divorce, frequent out-of-wedlock births, and serial monogamy.

Lately? Obviously Douchehat has no idea about history; aside from the more easily available divorce (no bad thing in itself), that’s always been the way of things.

Comment by Mike on 08/10/10 at 08:52 AM

It holds up the domestic life that can be created only by such unions, in which children grow up in intimate contact with both of their biological parents, as a uniquely admirable approach to child-rearing.

Shorter Douchehat: Adoptive families suck.

Comment by Oblomova on 08/10/10 at 11:15 AM

Andrew Sullivan has a great response to Douchehat’s douchebaggery.

Comment by marindenver on 08/10/10 at 12:08 PM

I do think the Sully piece is pretty great, Mar, but I quibble with his notion that it was primarily the lack of gay marriage as an option that caused AIDS to run rampant in San Francisco—in other words, granting someone a legal right to marry regardless of orientation won’t stop unsafe sex.

Comment by Oblomova on 08/10/10 at 01:24 PM

primarily the lack of gay marriage as an option that caused AIDS to run rampant in San Francisco

Does he now? What a stupid little man.

Comment by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/10/10 at 02:55 PM

HTP, that’s my interpretation of this from Sully:

If you have total gay freedom and no gay institutions that can channel love and desire into commitment and support, you end up in San Francisco in the 1970s. That way of life - however benignly expressed, however defensible as the pent-up unleashed liberation of a finally free people - helped kill 300,000 young human beings in this country in our lifetime.