Please, just kill me now

Off-camera the line was hundreds long. One turkey after another waited patiently for slow death rather than listen to Sarah Palin’s extremely grating voice. You have to hear it to believe it.

I wonder if the smell of fresh blood in the air improved the taste of that Starbucks?

[Film courtesy of Big Hairy Balls, Unlimited.]

Posted by poputonian on 11/21/08 at 06:38 AM • Permalink

Categories: NewsPoliticsElection '08St. McSameRelijunTelevisionYouTubiditySarah Palin

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I know this ain’t right but I collapsed into a fit of giggles when she said she was in charge of the turkey for Thanksgiving at her house.  This was after watching 5 minutes of her prattling on and on while carnage is taking place right behind her. Good lord,could she be any more detached from the world around her?

Did David Lynch direct this?

My favorite part was the quote:

“...building this team that is continually being built.”

And as everyone probably knows by now, one of the reporters specifically asked her if she wanted that as a backdrop.

That pinheaded prattler could have been the next vice president of the United States.  Oh my.

Oh dear gawd, Tom, David Lynch surely directed this little clip. I wonder if he’s a partner in BHB, Unlimited?

Now, how do we superimpose Sarah onto old clips of Blue Velvet or Twin Peaks?

Nothing says “levity” and “fun” like standing around watching turkeys get slaughtered.
  What’s she going to do to top this , have a fun filled family day of baby seal clubbing?

I like to rub up against small children and get my PUMA scent on them.

Sharp as a tack, just as quick to pick up on the tiniest details around her as usual! When a senior Senator you are debating breaks into tears over the death of his young wife and daughter, just plunge ahead and make your debating point—-he’ll be too busy sobbin’ to interruptcha!

Seriously, and I am not specifically comparing Saracuda to a serial killer, but this sort of cluelessness about how other humans feel reminds me of a psychopath I read about who murdered his wife on a family camping trip, dumped her body in a lake, then, because the kids (who witnessed it from the shore) seemed a little depressed, rented a video to cheer them up: Weekend At Bernie’s.

its not that surprising of video. very symbolic. a vacuous airhead sipping coffee of a corporate giant that is responsible for screwing the world’s coffee growers with the background of slaughter.

Jesus, Pop—2 consecutive posts plugging Starbucks!

Why don’t you just marry Starbucks if you love it so bugfucking much? Hmmmmm?

myiq2xu wasn’t warned about how I respond to to liars who spew propaganda

My grandmother took me by the hand when I was very small child to the market. It was in the inner city in Baltimore at the time on Lombard Street .. and you picked a live chicken , and they cut off the head , and plucked it for you on the spot ! I was not “traumatised” because it was all so natural and matter of fact and not horrible to know where your food came from .

Gratitude and grace before dinner have the same meaning as the Native Americans have when the bless their kills , but now I think its perfunctory ….and lacks meaning in modern lives , and we lose the value of taking a life so that we can eat.
Squeamishness over the origins of our food is much more deeply disconnected psychologially that being comfortable with the reality ... and what do you think is in that cute little can of cat food , or even the pressed dry stuff ??  Where did those turkey heads go .. Jello comes from chickens feet too

  Don’t you think it was possible she was making a not so subtle statement abuot the sqeamish media mongrels and blog- blatherers who think their thanksgiving turkey is made of tofu ??
That last turkey in the funnel looked a lot like .. Joe Scarborough, Mika B or maybe Willie Geist ??

I have a gift.  The gift to automatically and completely tune out stupid people when they are talking nonsense.

That being said, I lost track of what she said after the first 10 seconds or so.  I am so thankful for that gift this Thanksgiving.

Jeepers, SwanSpirit (gack!), you’re right. Us “squeamish city folk” can’t handle the truth. All this time I thought turkeys were born all crispy and buttery.

Don’t you think it was possible she was making a not so subtle statement abuot the sqeamish media mongrels and blog- blatherers who think their thanksgiving turkey is made of tofu ??

You may be onto something. Might it not also be possible that Governor Palin’s oft-derided speaking style is merely a demonstration of the impossibility of a straightforward theory of intentional meaning? I believe she was a student of Jacques Derrida. With all my heart, I believe it.

I wonder if the smell of fresh blood in the air improved the taste of that Starbucks?

Perhaps the contents of the cup were filled courtesy of the gentleman providing the background ambience?

That last turkey in the funnel looked a lot like .. Joe Scarborough, Mika B or maybe Willie Geist ??

I don’t know.I think a fat , micro-brained turkey bears more of a resemblance to Rush , or the stupid fucks that follow him. Joe’s more of a poo flinging spider monkey.

I was begging for mercy and/or a swift death 10 seconds into that clip, though filming Palin with a bunch of turkeys was genius.

Now can we just MOVE ON, people?

My husband was laughing so hard at this last night that I thought he was going to have a heart attack.  Between his fits of laughter, he would gasp and say “this is so terrible” and then back to more laughing.  I don’t think he’s laughed this hard since maybe his first viewing of Shaun of the Dead.

I am so torn.  I want her to go away, but I want her to stay because I know there will be more of this.  Literally and figuratively.

I saw this last night on MSNBC and pretty much laughed myself to sleep.  I couldn’t take watching it through again but at one point, she’s talking about the criticism she’s gotten, she says people will probably criticize her about this too (pardoning the turkey presumably).  Does this woman have so little self awareness that she simply can’t see the irony of saying that as turkeys are slaughtered in the background?

J. we would move on except she keeps begging us not to.  Yes, we’re gawkers at the train wreck but just. can’t. help. it.!!

Turkey slaughter is a routine, expected visual at Thanksgiving.

A blathering, un-self-aware Sarah Palin is so unremarkable that we should really just pick the best clip of her being an earnest dunce and run it over and over again until it becomes an iconic image, like Chamberlain waving the Munich Pact or Sideshow Bob stepping on a rake.

The genius here is in the juxtaposition of these two rather mundane elements in a single jarring composition that forces us to see the pornographic horror of both the struggling, doomed turkeys in the background…and the one in the scarf that’s being interviewed. 

Very Eisenstein. Very German photo-collage.

Jeepers, SwanSpirit (gack!), you’re right. Us “squeamish city folk” can’t handle the truth. All this time I thought turkeys were born all crispy and buttery.
Comment by Kevin K. on 11/21/08 at 11:14 AM

Well otherwise, what is the problem ?? is it just too outr’e to see outside the plasticwrap fantastic insular lifestyle? You know , that might just be one of the reasons for the silly negative response to Sarah Palin,that have absolutely nothing with issues . She is too close to reality for some of the more removed , and disconnected . We dont want to be reminded of our mammalian omnivorian origins, unless they are filled with silicone and plastered on the front of a womans chest ..OOPS they get tested on animals and humans too, now that I think of it .....

We dont want to be reminded of our mammalian omnivorian origins, unless they are filled with silicone and plastered on the front of a womans chest ..OOPS they get tested on animals and humans too, now that I think of it .....

Did that really just happen?

SwanSpirit—Palin’s a ditz, and everyone knows it.

You’re trying way too hard to apply some sort of Clampetts vs. Drysdales cultural overlay to a rather straightforward appreciation of visual irony.

Nice try, though, to work in some sort of game-meat/titties misogny metaphor into the conversation. Unfortunately, that’s the kind of intellectual two-cushion bank shot you’re not really good at. 

On the other hand, I could do a magical billiards riff on “break,” “balls,” “stick” and “in the pocket” right now without breaking a sweat. But I won’t.

Lemme try guys ...

SwanSpirit, I’m not bothered by the turkey gore at all. The problem is Palin’s public relations firm (Big Hairy Balls, Unlimited) is trying to project Sarah as a latte sipping farm girl with the genius to be president; a female president at that, and one with big hairy balls. For one, Palin is as dumb as a box of hammers. B. Everyone knows Starbucks is closing all its Alaska stores, 3. Palin’s voice is the antidote to priapism, and finally, most guys don’t really like big hairy balls, not even their own.

I love how the dude working turns around periodicly to check out the tv crew - LOVE HIM!
tv needs more shit like this I think.

Actually, SwSp, Sarah’s just given PETA a great big Thanksgiving present, both with the exquisitely appalling background here and with her obvious revulsion to the Lucky Turkey she pardoned, covered in filth as it was.* At the very least, a lot of viewers will be thinking Heritage turkeys, but I’m willing to bet more than a few Tofurkeys are sold on the basis of this clip.

Sarah’s never been accused of lacking determination, and her resolve to get through the overlong pardoning ceremony through the evident filth and stink is a good example. Fortunately, she’d already had a lot of practice at her own rallies.

BTW, the swan population has become something of a problem in the Northeast, driving out native birds—- is swan tasty? Or is its flesh repugnant? I never see recipes for roast swan.

*A rehearsal of the end of any possible Palin presidency?

I’ve just answered my own question: swan is not tasty, its flesh is tough, stringy, fishy, and in general, yicky:

http://www.amateurgourmet.com/2005/03/eating_swan.html

So I think it’s pretty mean of you, SwSp, swanning around while your fellow birds are inserted into funnels and beheaded just because they’re tastier.

Once again, you’ve proved yourself to be Cygnifying nothing.

The genius here is in the juxtaposition of these two rather mundane elements in a single jarring composition that forces us to see the pornographic horror of both the struggling, doomed turkeys in the background…and the one in the scarf that’s being interviewed. 

Thank you.  You expressed just the thought that I was groping for.

Rumproast Poster Vote:

Which of the two people in this video have the emptiest interior life?:

1) Washed-Up Political Self-Parody
2) Paid Hourly Turkey Immobilizer

NOTE: “Trick Question” is not an acceptable answer.

If somebody with video skills takes those turkeys (and that goofy guy who keeps checking out Palin’s ass) out of the background of Palin’s interview and replaces it with the first few minutes of this clip on Youtube, I will pay good money to have sex with them.

Darn. I thought I was gonna see a Sarah Palin vid-interview with the First Dood and Greta Van Susteren going at it in the background like a couple of randy barn cats. I don’t know why anyone would be squeamish about that. That would just be normal natural kind of grab-ass that goes on out here in the country all the time. And why do people think they call Alaska the Great Fun Land state anyway? Well? Or maybe people just think that that kind of ruttish hanky panky only happens on the cover of those flashy magazines you buy in the grocery store checkout line.

*

Swan is delicious , that is why they are protected in the UK and were almost hunted to extinction in the USA. If Americans were not so um squeamish abuot their diet , there probably could be a return to eating swan and with controls in place the swan population would no longer be a nuisance .
  The problem is the nuisance is the imported mute swan . The Tundra swan is hunted in some states . “Tundra swans should not be confused with the larger trumpeter and mute swans. Trumpeter swans are found almost exclusively in the mid-west and western states. Mute swans are generally non-migratory and can be found scattered throughout North Carolina. They are a non-native species that can be quite aggressive when approached “
 
What I find fascinating is watching people who benefit from the services of people they despise, comment on the vacuousness of those persons internal lives, as if they somehow had knowledge of those people ,and as if they themselves were somehow “better”. 

  Enjoy your tofu this thanksgiving ...

What I find fascinating is watching people who benefit from the services of people they despise, comment on the vacuousness of those persons internal lives, as if they somehow had knowledge of those people ,and as if they themselves were somehow “better”.

right back atcha swanny. you have no idea whom you are talking to(I mean at)

Regarding interior vacuousness, we were asked to vote on whose inner life was more woeful, with the clear implication that the winner of that particular honor was the empty vessel with the hairdo and the designer glasses. You somehow assumed the fellow in the background doing actual work was being slammed? Hmmmmm.

I notice you asserted what you want to believe, i.e. swan is delicious, without citing any evidence and completely ignoring my link, since I did research the matter (oh how glorious is the magic Google, I can ask it if swan is tasty and it will answer). This would be right in keeping with members of PUMA: first select your position, then shut out all evidence that will not support it.

Although there’s some wiggle room, i.e. it may depend on the age of the swan and whether you get one that’s been eating pondweed or swan kibble, the general consensus among those who have eaten it is: blechh. “Fishy” “Pond Scum” and the like.

Here is another thread from Amateur Gourmet: http://www.amateurgourmet.com/2005/03/eating_swan.html# comment-150499

Unless you have some direct,horrific, cannibalistic counter-evidence of the deliciousness of swan, you are definitely in the (pond)weeds.

swanny, pass a message onto your buddy myiq2xu.  This weekend I’m going to tear his throat out (in a totally Rob Zombie-kinda way).

He done fucked with my pal Mira and I will make sure his douchebaggery is top o’ the Googles.

I like to rub up against small children and get my PUMA scent on them.
Comment by myiq2xu on 11/21/08 at 10:13 AM

yeeks. what the….? whats with this myiq2xu creature and the killer clown face and the odor dominance behavior? John Wayne Gacy is still dead isn’t he?

*

@myiq2xu

By the way, not to insult your intelligence, but it’s really not wise to use your wireless network key as a blog handle.

Palin’s a ditz, and everyone knows it.

Of course.  ‘Cause MSNBC says so, right?

I’m willing to bet more than a few Tofurkeys are sold on the basis of this clip.

How much?

http://www.adn.com/sarah-palin/story/597969.html

“[Anthony Schmidt, owner of Triple D Farm & Hatchery] said the publicity is increasing turkey orders.”

Comment by Microbio on 11/24/08 at 04:39 AM

Of course.  ‘Cause MSNBC says so, right?

Yes.

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