With the lightning and thunder and the flaven and the NICE LADY STOP WITH THE HURTING AND THE MOOSE, OY!

It will be glorious.

For the Democrats.

As much as I’d like to see them run, the prospect of listening to their voices drone on and on in their stupid nasaly Fargo accents, for months on end, is simply untenable.

The spectacle of the two of them in the primaries (presumably as rivals till the result was decided) would probably knock the world even further off its axis.

And not in a good way.

I could feel IQ points being sucked from my brain yesterday from a generally northeastern direction, then I remembered that the twin black holes of intellect were locked in perilous mutual orbit in Minneapolis.

The thought of that dimwitted duo singing “I’m Jesus’ best down home folksie common sense conservatism friend” on the campaign trail makes me quiver all over.

No way God loves us that much. No. Way.

Let’s check the ‘12 campaign tally:

# of Barack Obama press conferences—13
# of Joe Biden press conferences—2 (followed by a tacit agreement they’re not such a good idea)
# of Palin press conferences—0 (why break a perfect string?)
# of Bachmann press conferences—1 (followed by brief institutionalization for a psych eval)

I smell…victory!

As pointed out above, if God is there God surely doesn’t love us that much.

On the other hand, the teabagger-confederacy-of-dunces-hate-the-black-usurper-klan does love us that much.

Humboldt, my mister and I long ago decided that God loves him some Barack Obama.

We came to this conclusion about the time that wingnuts prayed for rain on Denver, and then the Republican convention was struck by a hurricane.

Haven’t been proved wrong yet…

...please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please

please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!

The very thought would drive myiq into a paroxysm of unmitigated joy! One can only imagine the number of posts over there devoted to outcries of “sexism” every time someone announces they had to have their ears unblocked from the amount of cotton stuffed in to eliminate those two screechowls hammering away at “Jesus” and “freedom”.

Prediction: The RNC will release their dossier on Palin right after she helps re-elect some big-time, well-wired RINOs and crazy-but-manageable crowd-pleasers like Bachmann. Materials leaked to the press will include humiliating erotic correspondence between Palin and the late comic actor Jim Varney, as well as the damning, much-rumored “Righty” tape.

Alas, I’m starting to think it’s going to be Rubio/Barbour, the GOP’s imitation of the Dem ticket of 1960.

Alas, I’m starting to think it’s going to be Rubio/Barbour, the GOP’s imitation of the Dem ticket of 1960.

Where are Catherine O’Hara and Andrea Martin when we need them?

Mr. Wonderful, that’s a wonderful thought, but I think Tina Fay and Kristin Wiig will do just fine.