Please take me off your mailing list

My wife and I have a new funny we recently came up with that I figured I’d share with you folks.  Whenever one of us says something the other person doesn’t agree with or want to hear, we respond: “Please take me off your mailing list.” Here’s a sample exchange:

Me: I put the new phone next to the cactus because I didn’t like where the old one was next to the window.
Her: Really?
Me: Yeah, you had to lean over the rocking chair to get to the answering machine and I don’t like that people can hear our messages coming in if we have the window open.
Her: But doesn’t it look crowded next to the lamp?
Me: I moved the jar with the painted eggs.
Her: (silence)
Me: It looks good.  Trust me.
Her: But--
Me: Please take me off your mailing list.

Feel free to use it at home.  If it saves your marriage, we expect some nice flowers or a gift certificate or something.

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/26/08 at 07:59 AM • Permalink

this is a bad joke u play on poor people trying to make them think they can get rich but all u what is for us to buy your junk no ty

wh...whaaaa?

On the flip side is one of my favorite quotes from noted philosopher Homer Simpson. I use it all the time as a way of saying “I agree wholeheartedly”

Bart: Sharing is a bunch of bull, too. And helping others. And what’s all this crap I’ve been hearing about tolerance?

Homer: Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Just saying “Unsubscribe!” also works well.

You might also enjoy this bit of idiocy:

Super Stupor (a webcomic), which is six million kinds of NSFW. It’s about daily life as a superhero, and a sub-project of Something Positive, which is sixteen billion kinds of NSFW.

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