Power Tool flunks Jeebus 101

John Hindrocket over at PowerLine observes the convergence of two facts today:

1) A Pew poll shows that, although Americans are super-religious, heathens are far more educated on the god shtick than the pious.

2) Obama speaks about his Christian faith and says he was attracted to it because he likes the idea of being his brothers’ and sisters’ keeper. In a word: socialism!

Obama:

“So I came to my Christian faith later in life, and it was because the precepts of Jesus Christ spoke to me in terms of the kind of life that I would want to lead—being my brothers’ and sisters’ keeper, treating others as they would treat me.”

Hindrocket:

I have no interest in questioning Obama’s religious faith, which I believe to be sincere. It is only fair to note, too, that some of what he said was right on the money. But Obama’s answer causes one to suspect that he would be among those who, as in the Pew poll that is also in the news today, would have trouble answering basic questions about his own religion. The Golden Rule is a fine idea, but it is not a principle of Christianity. Nor did Jesus ever say that we should be our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers; Obama apparently referred to the story of Cain and Abel.

This is the point I want to make: Biblical precepts are often twisted by liberals to support socialism. Jesus was not a socialist. On the contrary, he explicitly disclaimed any political agenda.

Oh really? I happen to have Jesus right here:

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

“He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

“Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

Sounds like Jesus was advocating very specifically for brother and sister keeperhood—on pain of eternal damnation. So sorry, Galt Gobblers: Go to hell. Go directly to the fiery flames of hell. Do not pass heaven. Do not collect eternal life.

Thus sayeth the Lord.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/28/10 at 11:01 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaRelijun

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Matthew 7:12.
“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.”

So, douchebag is approximately exactly wrong about the golden rule thing.  Does he not have the googles?

whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.

I’m a non believing heathen but Brutha Jeesus, as a man and a soshulist (or shall we say just a humanitarian?) told it like it is.  We have to look after each other.  That’s what the Repubs don’t get and the Dems do.  That’s why we have to GOTV this fall and vote right.  Not for the perfect ideal but for the side that will look after our brothers and sisters.

Sometimes I get angry that Jesus never spoke out against slavery, and I think about all the pain and suffering it might have saved us.  Then I read shit like this and remember that Christians would have just ignored him anyway.

Sometimes I get angry that Jesus never spoke out against slavery,

Truly, he was worse than Bush.

Maybe Assrocket prefers the Conservative Bible. It leaves off that caring-for-the-poor shit in favor of Ayn Rand worship…

Matthew 23:23

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.”

Nope.  Jesus didn’t care anything about soshulist piffle like justice and mercy.  Except that he did, most centrally so.  Which probably makes him a subversive liberation theologian.  Come to think of it, the power structure of his day didn’t react well to his message.  Wonder what the Hindrockets of this world would do to him today?

Nor did Jesus ever say that we should be our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers; Obama apparently referred to the story of Cain and Abel.

Good God all mighty. How stupid would you have to be to think he was referring to the story of Cain and Abel?

Of course I notice that while content to wank over how he thinks Obama would have done on the quiz, Fudmissle doesn’t mention his score.

The soshulist Jesus way of going Galt:

“One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

  Mark 10:21

Sorry, had to add this.  Couldn’t help myself.  But clearly these folks have never even read the red letters.  (For those of you who have been spared a certain brand of piety, the “red letters” refers to the red ink in which Jesus’ words are printed in some bibles, to make them stand out from the rest of the text.)

It would seem that Assrocket has never spent a night in the House of the Rising Son.

 


See what I did there?

Time for a personal favorite of mine, the list of woe from the Sermon on the Plain…

“But woe to you who are rich,
For you have received your consolation.
Woe to you who are full now,
For you will be hungry.
Woe to you who are laughing now,
For you will mourn and weep.”
—Luke 6:24-25

Don’t forget, this GOP-friendly interpretation of the Savior is what Al Franken lampooned in his Supply Side Jesus comic, as illustrated by my old friend Don Simpson.

Oh look—he edited the blog post so it now says “The Golden Rule is a fine idea, but it is not a principle unique to Christianity.”

You know who ALSO believed in the golden rule, don’t you?

So Ass Rocket erects a straw man (Liberals use Jesus to promote socialism), and then blatantly mis-refers to Jesus’ teachings as a means to triumphantly set it on fire.

Is Christine O’Donnell aware of this public act of masturbation?

Oh look—he edited the blog post so it now says “The Golden Rule is a fine idea, but it is not a principle unique to Christianity.”

Hahaha! Thanks for pointing that out.

Oh look—he edited the blog post so it now says “The Golden Rule is a fine idea, but it is not a principle unique to Christianity.”

Surprise—neither is any other principle of Christianity unique to Christianity, since it was cobbled together from about 20 other competing cults and traditions. IIRC, the really hard part was deciding on the name “Jesus” for the main character.

Oh look—he edited the blog post so it now says “The Golden Rule is a fine idea, but it is not a principle unique to Christianity.”

OK, Mr. ICBM, name five principles that are unique to Christianity!

To help you think, we’ll beat you with this rubber hose until you’re done.

The interesting thing about the type of Christianity that Ass Rocket believes in is that also believes in Darwinism. Or, at least the survival of the fittest in a free market environment.

Rush Limbaugh is now parroting the Total Assrocket Line on this. Who’da thunk?

Forget that dusty old internets Bible!  It’s been edited to hell over the centuries anyway, and only occasionally because we were liberal-prevertizing it to satisfy our Dark Masters.  Anyway, since that tragic and extremely fun LSD accident last year, I can actually hear Jesus and God chat in Heaven!  Let’s have a listen.

...

Nope, mostly, they’re just exasperated at what the fundies are doing in their names again.  Man, you’d think that, what with being omniscient and all, they’d have more things to talk about.

I’m not gonna pay a lot for this muffler

.....................Reverberations 3:7

You can look it up.  And it wouldn’t kill you to read the entire chapter, to know what has been, what is, and what is to be…

And Betty proves why it’s never wise to fuck with a Jesus Camp veteran!

@John Ball, later in that chapter of Luke: “If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

It’s as though the Golden Rule cam right out of the Bible or something.

I’d like to read what Ass Rocket thinks about this passage:

Acts of the Apostles

(New Revised Standard version)

4:32 Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common.

4:34 There was not a needy person among them, for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold.

4:35 They laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need.

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