Prime Rib Radio

02-26-2009 04;02;21AM
Listen to Rumproast’s tasty females on Houston’s Pacifica station KPFT for two Thursdays running!  The Innerside, with your host Scooter (first introduced to Rumproast through his hilarious PUMA montage, “Five Minutes of Hate From the Daughters of the Democratic Confederacy”) this week will feature Kerry Reid, gimmeabreak, aka Political Machine’s Denise Williams, and me, Mrs. Polly. Next week will feature Marindenver and Betty Cracker. That’s two solid weeks of juicy, meaty listening.

The half hour show can be heard going out across Texas and the Gulf Coast for real over KPFT’s 100,000 watts, or streamed live beginning at 10:30 PM Houston time, 11:30 East coast time, through KPFT. Click “Listen Now” up at the right.  The archived edition will show up on Scooter’s Acksis of Evil site roughly an hour after that. Sammiches will be served.

UPDATE: The archive is available here (The Inner Side—Thursday, February 26, 2009 10:30 pm).

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 02/26/09 at 04:07 AM • Permalink

Categories: Rumproast Related

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If yall have any questions you’d like the ladies to address please post them here, as we are back into the regular schedule and Innerside is only 30 minutes, too short for call-ins.

Oh good.  KPFT, my favorite local station and one that sounds like a hairball.

Thank goodness for the playback. You all are up way past this East Coast Lieberul’s bedtime.

If yall have any questions you’d like the ladies to address please post them here

This question is for all the contestants: If you were going to make me a sammich, what kind would it be and what color apron would you wear when you served it to me?

[Runs away]

Can’t wait!

My question: what is the secret of your awesomeness?

I’m hoping the gals will discuss what we, as individuals, can do to begin dismantling the embedded controls and institutionalized repressive mechanisms of The Patriarchy.

Also, if there’s time, I’d love to get their read on the following quote by Murphy:

Patriarchy was established to allow unattractive men easier access to women.

I had always assumed that was why God made Rohypnol and dim lighting, so the “patriarchy” angle seems like something of a stretch. However, I could be persuaded, I suppose.

Good luck to all!

Oh, and three words: Truth Or Dare!

If anyone wants to hear Strange and me on Scooter’s show from December, you can check it out here. Strange, as usual, ruled and Mrs. Polly (via email yesterday) highlighted this great quote from him when we were talking about Jon Favreau:

Kevin, you shouldn’t publicize that—there are people who have cardboard family members.

I think this is awesome and I look forward to listening to the archive tomorrow.  Maybe we can get Prime Rib Radio here in DC.

I don’t really have any questions, but the mention of Favreau reminds me: are they going to appoint a Congressional committee, kind of like the committee that investigated the Kennedy assassination, to determine to what extent Favreau indulges in groping of cardboard celebrities?  Will Arlen Spector be on the committee?  I’m just wondering if we’ll read about a “magic cardboard” theory.

This is going to be a great show. Any radio program that features women who don’t sound like a Bronx Roller Derby team and snort like Teamsters when someone says “Oblowme” will be a welcome change from the usual Thursday night PUMA Radio “Hour of Fail.”

Unless two of you fall asleep and the other one crashes the phone-board, I have every faith that you will redeem the much-dishonored oeuvre of Women’s Talk Radio.

Plus, you have Scooter, who is an eminently able and amiable host.

I’m holding a bottle of Patron Reposado in reserve for the “Innerside Drinking Game.” Trigger words include “Hambeast,” “tentacle-sex,” “castrate,” “Texas” and “gamahuche.”

I’ll certainly check that out.

But how will you get the sammiches through the radio?

You don’t think I can pay attention for almost an hour without snacks, do you?

I would like to see the Hambeast Ladies vs some choice PUMAs in a Family Feud-style affair.  That would be Comedy Gold.

Also.  I have avoided listening to anything PUMA related because I was willing to take y’all’s word for the shrillness factor.  You were right.  That lady’s voice actually caused me pain through my headphones.

Scratch that Family Feud idea.  Seriously.  I never want to hear that voice never, ever, for any reason, evAr!

Strange, thanks for the challenge and be prepared to be totally shit-faced by 11:45.

t4toby, they will be virtual sammiches.

Don’t let me down, Denise. I need a major neural cleansing.

BTW—GREAT illo, Mrs. P! You have WAY too many talents.

Strange, please advise on the pronunciation of gamahuche.  Urban dictionary does not have a pronunciation key - bastages!

Why am I always reminded of Madeline when I see Mrs. P’s fantastic drawings?

Make my sammich hot pastrami on rye, please.

Gimme, I believe that in pronouncing gamahuche, Urban Dictionary provides a contextual clue:

sodwit 1: Oh ..wommannnn..i need it so bad. Let me gamahuche down there, hawtthang?..
wommannnn(?): ewwwwwwwww!

The scansion of the line depends on whether you want to treat “gamahuche” as an anapest: bah-dah-BUM. If “gamahuche” is broken into two iambs, GA-ma-HU-che, the line becomes iambic pentameter. Which has been known to work on getting a person laid before.

Strange, you have certainly bumped up the traffic at Urban Dictionary from my household.  And thank you. Following you on the radio is exceedingly intimidating. My cardboard cousin hasn’t stopped talking about it yet.

Apparently, I am the only person on this forum who has ever spent the afternoon on a Greyhound Bus reading the cheesy romance novel left on the seat by an earlier occupant.

(In which case, you are probably also unaware that a private detective can drop his pants and insert his “yard” all the way inside the woman’s hoo-hoo.)

I have to admit, though, that “gamahuche” is the absolutely best-ever pseudo-Victorian soft-porn euphemism for a sexual act. It’s French, it sounds REALLY dirty…and it will genuinely baffle your little brother when he sneaks the book from your nightstand

It is, however, singularly unsuited to verbal seduction, regardless of whether you are offering it or inviting it. Come to think of it, ALL of the available synonyms are also awkward or gross, so it’s probably better just to use hand gestures or crude drawings.

Must NOT read these threads at work - everyone passing my office wondering why I am convulsing with laughter during grim tax season time.  Am just trying to maintain the visage of someone doing serious level tax research but having NO LUCK.

Mrs. P. - adore the pics.  We will be listening tonight and I’ll be trying to take some notes for next week.  Hopefully the topic of “gamahuche” will not come up.

The puzzle deepens:

Ross, under the name “E. Clifton Gamahuche”, took the first and only steps towards developing metapornolinguistics…

This is a cryptic and incomplete reference included in a broader discussion of expletive syntax here.

Comment by StrangeAppar8us on 02/26/09 at 04:54 PM

A conflict came up, so I’m off the lineup. But you’ve still got the A-Team, no worries!

Strange, it’s an excellent incentive to learn conjugations—-I’ve just spent a good ten minutes looking up how to say si serions en gamahuchant….

That’s the conditional. It’s probably wrong, but you can’t tell me it doesn’t sound pretty good.

@ Strange: I very much enjoyed the instructive essay on metapornolinguistics. But I realize now that I don’t know how to speak English.

@ Kerry: Gah! My chance to make an idiot of myself went up 33%! Intrade had it at 3 in 5.

My question: what is the secret of your awesomeness?

RumpRoastLadyfarians, great bloggers/commenters, or greatest?

broader discussion of expletive syntax here.

Indeed, I hang on every word Phuc Dong scribes

Strange, it’s an excellent incentive to learn conjugations

Conjugations? Waaaaait! Sounds a bit rude!

I’m too lazy to read all of the comments, but does anyone else see the wonderful irony in the fact that the PUMA radio show didn’t result, as they thought, in a regular PUMA hour, but rather in Rumproasters being regular guests?

Well, balls. For the first time in history, I can’t seem to connect to the KPFT server. I may have to wait for the archived edition.

Break a leg, regardless!

Whew.  Well that only took me 3 beers to get through.

And Strange, sorry you couldn’t get in.  There were 3 mentions of Texas, one gamahuche (Scooter) and one Hambeast.  So down 5 shots of Patron right now. 

Don’t puke.

I should have started drinking earlier! Sorry for: talking over you, the decades of dead air when Scooter said, “And you, Mrs. Polly?” and not using “gamahuche” more.

Who wants to join me in a Scotch?

Sounds good - I’ll go pour one.

And you weren’t talking over me at all..

Now comes the KPFT fatwa after I brought up Islamic naughty lingerie parties. I was just trying to be helpful. Do-gooders are the curse of the world.

You guys were great!  I’m shaking in my boots for next week.  I love the Saudi ladies naughty underwear parties idea!

Scooter must be good at controlling the stutters, false starts and gurgles of neophytes. I’m sure I gave his mute button a workout.

Sounds like I missed a sprightly interlude. I’m sure it was like dinner at the Algonquin, and I’ll nab the downloadable version as soon as Scooter posts it.

I just hope you both had fun. There’s a certain self-imposed, jittery pressure to perform, and it’s tough to coordinate when you can’t see the faces of the people you’re conversing with. But I’m sure you brought honor to the tribe.

I’m working up a riff about getting a Bobby Jindal cardboard cutout to fondle.  (And don’t anybody steal that!) I figure if I write down a couple of things every day I might be able to make it through.

Mar, it’s not that bad. My mistake was not drinking.

Well, I definitely think you both earned your Scotch tonight.

I’m sure it was like dinner at the Algonquin

Only if I can be Dorothy Parker.

I was as sprightly as a tapir. But not as profound.

Gamahuche! Salut! Thank you Scooter!

Polly had me laughing so much a one point I had to put my phone on mute.

Mar - suprisingly I didn’t get nervous until about an hour before.  Scoot is great!  He knows how to keep the conversation going.

It’s helpful to think that it’s just you, Scooter, and Betty. And as for the entire Gulf coast, well, we’re not going to meet those people anyway, are we?

we’re not going to meet those people anyway, are we?

I’ve canceled my vacation plans to Corpus Christi.

Mrs. Polly—South Jersey? why did I think you were in NYC?

Denise is in S. Jersey.

My bad, Denise. So that means Mrs. Polly is the one who finds IHOPs and Target stores exotic.

I think I’m getting the hang of this!

Obligatory vibrator joke. Oopa!

This is getting rather bawdy.

Yes Strange, I’ve been to a Walmart once, and the greeter wasn’t there! Bitter disappointment. I even waited, but he was on a long break, so I left that place, ungreeted.

‘s all good Strange.  I’d be happy to take Mrs. Polly on tour of inner suburbia anytime.  All she has to do is get on Amtrak and go to 30th Street Station and I’ll whisk her off to the land of strip malls.

We have Targets, WalMarts, Olive Gardens, Outbacks…  You name it.

I think we should start planning for the first annual Roastacon.

I don’t know, Denise. Cherry Hill and King of Prussia could be a traumatic cultural collision for Mrs. P.

Actually, 42nd Street has an Olive Garden. The Deuce is now an urban Midwestern food court. Where Hubert’s Flea Circus once was, is now a Cinnabons.

How could anybody not love a place called King of Prussia? Aside from the French.

Roastacon!

Good God! You two turned consuming the Host into pornography. Bravo!

Good God! You two turned consuming the Host into pornography. Bravo!

Yeah, the “chomping on the host” by the Mrs. is what made me mute the phone.

Off to bed I go.  The day job calls in 7 short hours.  I had a blast.  Just makes me want to meet all you wonderful people in person.

I will start planning a “CON”.

Host pron
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

<Sigh> Manhattan has changed, Mrs. P. There was a day when Times Square was a place where real men went to conduct serious business with a quarter-slot and a sliding metal screen. No more, alas.

It’ll be the first Catholic/Muslim Crufatwasade. Always glad to bring people together.

Oh yeah when I was 17 I caught a Times Square show where the lady came out mopping the floor, only she wasn’t holding the mop in her hands, and then she blew out some candles and also smoked cigarettes.

It wasn’t exactly erotic, but it did make an impression on me, still haunted by those images

Hambeast! Gamahuche (again)! I get mentioned by name!

Prosit!

Did you ever see a film called “The Piano Teacher” with Isabelle Huppert? She visited such a place, which was depicted to the smallest, most redolent detail.

My mother told me that she had seen the movie the previous day, so I sat there, watching Isabelle watch explicit porn flicks, imagining my mother watching it.

An old couple sat in front of me, the old lady noisily, steadily eating popcorn. At one point, the old lady twisted in her seat and said to her husband, “I thought you said this was about a piano teacher.”

But they stayed right where they were, and nothing onscreen interrupted the rhythm of the popcorn.

The day job calls in 7 short hours.

I’m already at work, as you can tell, sometimes we work really hard on the graveyard shift.

Anyway we’re going camping at a Texas style tripped out version of burning man tomorrow, will post some pics on return

Well, that there was some damn funny radio!

You two should be insufferably preening and proud, and Scooter deserves a GHB-fueled night in Vegas with J4H for weaving the whole thing together and running the pots.

Bravo! Let’s have more radio, please.

That Time Square show I described was a live show, not a movie.

Now she wouldn’t even be allowed to light up in the theatre. That’s the damn shame of it.

Unfortunately, Mrs. P, I have not seen “The Piano Teacher,” but I just noticed that you can get it bundled for discount shipping with “Audacity of Hope” on Amazon.

It sounds a lot like “Schindler’s Fist,” with overtones of “The Buns of Navarone.” I shall purchase it forthwith.

Oh, and of course that Amazon joke would only be funny if I had typed “Audacity of DEMOCRACY.”

Damn these drugs, and my cursed dependence on them.

...and NOTHING interrupts the rhythm of the popcorn, ever.

Congratulations to all.

It’s late here, and Mrs. P has inspired me to finish my screening of “Good Night, and Good Fuck.”

I leave you with a bonus rant from everyone’s favorite Texas Manhandle:

jenniforhillary 02.26.09 at 10:56 pm

  I wanna GO back in time. I wanna be in Denver. I wanna grab the mike and DEMAND Hillary be declared our candidate. I hate that speech. I hate it. I hate it. How dare she and how dare I be denied my Hillary as President. She won. She was the best ever. I truly hate them all. I don’t dislike them (Democraps). I hate. Hate. Hate. I hope karma and hell and heaven are real. I hope they all get exactly what they deserve (to lick his asshole for eternity wouldn’t be bad enough but you get my drift)….

  Oh, and the Philip Berg/M. Savage interview rocks. I said it before and I got banned from every liberal blog site/magazine there is. Nobama was not born in this country. He cannot be president, and he is certainly not mine.

Would a “Swiving Miss Daisy” joke be too smarmy? Well, what’s done cannot be undone.

Actually, “Waltz with Brassiere” would be even lower than that, so you’re off the hook.

For those of us who missed this auditory treat, does anyone know if Scooter’s uploaded the MP3 yet? I can’t find it on his site.

YAFB, KPFT has the archived edition for 58 days, you can get there from the address above. I can’t, because my poor antique computer collapses from the shock every time I try to listen. I hope Scooter puts up the show soon, so I can reinforce my woulda-shoulda-couldas, which I have been going through like rosary beads.

I just added a link to the archive page at KPFT.  You can either stream the show or download an MP3 of it. I was out last night, so listening now.

So. Very. Excited.

Splendid! Looking forward to this.

Ladies of the Blogohedron
Rumproast Gals:

http://acksisofevil.org/audio/inner213.mp3

Or download from
http://acksisofevil.org/innerside.html

The above is a much better cleaned up version with the PSAs replaced by a Jindalmix

scooter, I’m not sure if you received my e-mail but I need your permission to use your radio interview mash up of icepick voice for my website flash intro page. Can I use it? Thanks.

Just listened. 

Bravo, All!

No, what you do with the host is let it sit on your tongue long after you get back to the pew.  Then you keep your eye on the girl or boy classmate you have a crush on somewhere else in the church.  When he/she finally makes eye contact with you, stick out your tongue and display the host while making a funny face.  This will result in blasphemous laughter on his/her part.  Repeat the procedure for a few years until he/she develops a conditioned response that has him/her giggling after communion without even looking at you.  Just knowing that you’re in the church will suffice.  Your persistence will pay off in the 8th grade. 

Also, great show.  Mrs. Polly and gimmeabreak, I would show you both my communion wafer if I could.

Actually, 42nd Street has an Olive Garden.

On our last few visits to NY I have been kind of stunned at how chain restaurants and stores have invaded pretty much everywhere.  There are still pockets here of local establishments and obviously even more back there but homogeneity seems to be the coming thing.  No doubt the Macy’s building will one day be a Beds, Bath & Beyond (Linens ‘n’ Things having bitten the dust).  But I’m happy to say that I have never been to a WalMart either.

We may get to NY this summer - try to go once every couple of years and it’s been a couple - so maybe we could try for at least a mini Roastacon then.  I think it would be a ton of fun.

Linens N Things didn’t bite the dust; it merely rebranded....

PS: Nice job, amigas.

Thanks, all!

Let us know when you’ll be around Mar…maybe we can drag BC up from FL.

We may get to NY this summer - try to go once every couple of years and it’s been a couple - so maybe we could try for at least a mini Roastacon then.  I think it would be a ton of fun.

That would be great.  Let me know when.  But the summer?  Best time in NYC is the spring.  Summer gets all sorts of muggy and uriney.

Unfortunately, mom is an accountant. She won’t be going anywhere but work until after Tax Day.

Unfortunately, mom is an accountant. She won’t be going anywhere but work until after Tax Day.

Ahhhh, that’s right.  Summer it is, then.

Linens N Things didn’t bite the dust; it merely rebranded….

Linens ‘n’ Shit - funny. Is that where they get the poop hats?

And yes, I’m pretty tied up until April 15 but June is nice.  We’ll see how the schedule works out.

#####

I need your permission to use your radio interview mash up of icepick voice

Sure anybody can re-use anything I post or broadcast, a credit is nice, but not necessary, hell everything in there is stuff I ripped off from elsewhere to begin with.

But thanks for asking

-scooter
PS I returned your emale

thanks scooter! pumafail.com is back up and running.

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