Prissy-Pants Prez Shuns Nude Pix, Deadly Currents on “Family” Outing

Vladimir Putin would have air-dropped from a Hind helicopter into the Gulf waters at the Deepwater Horizon site, then snorkeled a mile down to inspect the well-head, all on a single breath. Plus, he doesn’t give a damn who takes a picture of his reflective alabaster torso, because he knows he can smash your camera and kill you with a savate kick if your images make him look insufficiently heroic and sexy.

President Obama, in contrast, refused to let the media rubberneck a “private” swim with his daughter Sasha at Panama City, FL. Worse yet, he elected to swim at Saint Andrew Bay—an inlet not technically considered part of the Gulf—because the nearby Gulf beaches had been closed on account of a suspiciously-convenient “hazard” that a White House spokesperson cryptically referred to as “riptides.” Yeah, right. “Riptides.” You can’t make this shit up.

And, so what? Even if there were such a thing as “Dangerous Underwater Conveyor Currents,” Vladimir Putin would have stripped off his crimson Speedo, hurled his children into the vortex, pitched a bucket of fishheads and chum in after them, then laughed—laughed, I tell you—in celebration of his own majestic contempt for weak Capitalist modesty, sappy human sentimentality and responsible parenting.

Count me as one more disappointed Socialist Lackey. I voted for an Iron-Fisted Narcissistic Crypto-Tyrant, and all I got was Ward Cleaver.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/15/10 at 01:21 PM • Permalink

Categories: News • Politics • Barack Obama • Polisnark •

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@Strange, or should I call you “W.,” how long have you been lusting after Pute-Pute?

Comment by J. on 08/15/10 at 04:59 PM

Probably since right about here.

Hubba-hubba, ooblay-koo!

Comment by StrangeAppar8us on 08/15/10 at 05:05 PM

Wow, that water looks sparkly and refreshing - makes me wonder if we can manage a little vaca down to the Gulf to help out the economy.

But if you also felt refreshed by the pic I’d suggest staying away from the comments section at the Politico piece you linked - pretty much of a sewer over there.

Comment by marindenver on 08/15/10 at 06:02 PM

@marindenver—There’s just no pleasing some people.

Comment by StrangeAppar8us on 08/15/10 at 06:09 PM

The Obamas continue to disappoint, by narcissistically allowing the Secret Service to provide “Presidential-style” security, travelling in armored cars, and refusing to drown themselves.

Even though President Obama has demonstrated expertise, if not downright mastery, of getting out of riptides himself, how is little Sasha ever going to learn!