Glad they kept adding that “of Alaska” bit, ‘cause I’m always getting her confused with that other Sarah Louise Heath Palin.

Better be careful what happens when Palinites cross paths with Obamabots.

*SNAP*  *SNAP*  *SNAP*  *SNAP*  *SNAP*

vow our Loyalty to Sarah Louise Heath Palin of Alaska, her Family, her Associates, her Allies, and whoever else she deems worthy.

Roadies dream of women like this.

we will use our God given talents in a positive and inspirational manner

Dear God, are bitching, moaning, sulking, flaunting a radioactive level of stupid and being a giant-sized bigot talents? Please clarify ASAP.

befitting of a servant of the people of the United States of America, her Allies and of Sarah Louise Heath Palin of Alaska.

Sheesh.

We will act as if we are working for Sarah Louise Heath Palin of Alaska herself.

‘Cos it’s not like we have real jobs.

Man, if this were any sadder you’d have to cry. Well, tears of sadness.

Plz tell me this is a parody and not real.  Because, well, you know, how unutterably sad for those signing this pledge if so.  I mean, well, just not much more to say.  Except, no, never mind.

It all seemed a bit Kim Jong-Il to me, so I fed the oath into Babelfish, translated it into Korean, then back again. I think it now more faithfully captures the flavor of Sarah Louise Heath Palin of Alaska’s* deathless prosody (you can add your own alsos):

TEAM MEMBER OATH! 

We Alaska cause and problem point approve her Sarah, Louise Heath Palin we support, we support, we are promoted. “Team member” us, Alaska, her family, her colleague, her ally, and troublesome meat roasted with seasonings** proposal Sarah in Louise Heath Palin our loyalty she value regards in addition with oath. Us us in affirmation and inspiration of the servant of the people of Louise Heath Sarah of her ally and Alaska of United States of America Palin method, us whom the talent which to matches comes to give will put on and will use swears. Us we respect Louise Heath Sarah of Alaska Palin her oneself are working like will act. With we with advance of Sarah his Louise Heath creation of Alaska Palin use our talents, an intellect, a divine nature, an emotion, a word and an activity specially with improvement of plan of our creators and promises.

* They were canny, Judas. I was all set to change my name to Sarah Louise Heath Palin and enslave the lot of ‘em.
** My decoding has revealed a none too subtle call to action. Barricade the Rumper Room doors - they’re coming for us.

This looks awfully familiar…

Nice, but they forgot to capitalize “Her” and “She”.

What is it with conservative nutbags that makes them capitalize random words in sentences like they are writing the farking Constitution?

No answer required.

I like how they added an unnecessary “God given” before the first reference to “talents” because otherwise the oath wouldn’t have God in it.