Rand Bargain

Above: an impassioned, well-reasoned plea on behalf of bodily integrity, but not the skanky kind

(RRNN)—Kentucky Senator Rand Paul, son of Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul and recurring Kids in the Hall character Kevin McDonald was born to play, was detained by the TSA this morning after setting off a full-body scanner and subsequently refusing a pat-down. Guess where he was going at the time! Go on, take a stab.

Yeah, of course it was a March for Life rally, I should’ve made that one harder, huh?

So to clarify, a little over-the-pants groping: Demeaning and invasive. Federal intrusion into a woman’s decision-making vis-a-vis her reproductive system: Not only acceptable but necessary. I had a high school girlfriend whose Irish Catholic mother espoused roughly the same philosophy, but that’s neither here nor there.

Before things get too heated around the issue, I propose a solution in the spirit of exemptions to anti-abortion statutes: Rand Paul should never have to submit to pat-downs by family members or convicted sex offenders. In all other circumstances, I’m sure Agent McFeely will do his best to give you a “speedy delivery” through the line, Senator!

I can’t imagine why you don’t come to me with all your problems, America. I am Mr. Sensible Compromise over here.

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Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/23/12 at 05:39 PM • Permalink

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