Red, White & Susie

Sigh, another TV crush obliterated. Now that The Next Food Network Star‘s Susie Fogelson has hired Sean Hannity as her fashion consultant I can take no more. Aida, don’t let me down.

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/29/09 at 08:40 AM • Permalink

Categories: FoodTelevision

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So true!  It was like she ran into Walmart in a panic—we’re doing a salute the troops show!  Help!  Anything patriotic will do! 

I haven’t really watched TNFNS in the past (occasionally caught part of an episode while flipping), but this season I watched the first one, and then have been watching the remaining episodes.

Am waiting to see if the next star will have odder voice cadences than Ted Allen (now the reigning supreme champion over four-time winner David Caruso).  I watch Chopped just to marvel at how strangely he can contort sentences.

Wow - I did not know that FN humor site existed!  Bookmarked and thanks.

Kevin, don’t give up on the lovely Suzie just over the fact that she looked as thought she was about to break into “I’m Proud to be an American”.  Look at that picture on the site.  She’s Look.  Right.  At.  You.

Am waiting to see if the next star will have odder voice cadences than Ted Allen (now the reigning supreme champion over four-time winner David Caruso).  I watch Chopped just to marvel at how strangely he can contort sentences.

True that.  Did he sound like that on Queer Eye?  If he did, I don’t remember it being that bad.

Am waiting to see if the next star will have odder voice cadences than Ted Allen (now the reigning supreme champion over four-time winner David Caruso).  I watch Chopped just to marvel at how strangely he can contort sentences.

Yeah, he’s an odd fit for that show.  I don’t watch it much (just see glimpses if Chris has it on), but he’s not a good fit for it. He was undoubtedly the most likable guy on Queer Eye and he’s oddly shoehorned in as host of what’s a rather grim and tense show (considering the subject matter). Alton Brown, who you can tell is really an evil bastard when he isn’t clowning around on his silly show, would have been a better fit.

Yeah, thanks again, KK for pointing me to yet another blog to read.  Thank God I don’t have to work until 2.

Love this from there:

@tylerflorence

Fellas’, My Mac and Cheese will have your girl scratching the wall like a cat in heat. #twtlish10:06 AM Jun 25th from web

Kev,

thanks for the point to the highly entertaining spoof blog.  I like watching the food network, and I like making fun of it even more.  Watching them pick the next food network star gives you insight into how their current stars were picked.

The Daily Fork has its 6 most annoying FN stars, and not to start a blogwar, but I don’t know how you pick the Neelys over Sandra Lee.

I’ve pretty much quit watching Food Network since they made the decision to turn it into Cooking Lite.  And the fact that the 6 most annoying FN stars list didn’t include Rachael Ray (possibly the most annoying lite cook of all time) really tells you how far down that channel has gotten.  Seriously when they booted Mario Batali, apparently because his stuff was too complicated and authentic, they really lost all their cred with me.

The Daily Fork has its 6 most annoying FN stars, and not to start a blogwar, but I don’t know how you pick the Neelys over Sandra Lee.

That list is so wrong. The Neelys flirting can be horribly cringe-inducing, but, yeah, Sandra at #1 for sure.  How can you hate on Giada? Sure, she can be occasionally cloying, but nothing close to Rachel Ray. And where the hell are the tag team of spiked-hair irritants Guy Fieri and Anne Burrell? Don’t get me started about Alton Brown…

That list is so wrong.

Uh huh. The only thing irritating about Giada is that she can’t possibly eat her own cooking and still be so skinny unless she’s a victim of Crohn’s disease and/or bulimia or spends 10 hours a day in the gym.

I like Guy Fieri’s Drive-ins, Diners and Dives show, but as I’ve mentioned before, I could do without the obligatory shot of him stuffing a pound and a half of food down his maw every 50 seconds. Jesus. It’s a wonder those sunglasses don’t pop off the back of his head and take out a line cook.

Alton Brown is okay with me. I like the food science angle. Even Rachel Ray doesn’t send me lunging for the remote, though I can see why others would find her unbearable.

The FN chefs who irritate me are the ones who push the health angle. Fuck you, Ellie Krieger. Go down in flames on the next episode, Katie Cavuto. If I wanted to live on raw cabbage, I’d resign my position at the top of the food chain and graze alongside the cattle.

The FN chefs who irritate me are the ones who push the health angle. Fuck you, Ellie Krieger. Go down in flames on the next episode, Katie Cavuto. If I wanted to live on raw cabbage, I’d resign my position at the top of the food chain and graze alongside the cattle.

Bravo.

Absolutely screaming funny, Betty.

We’ll forget for now that the real top of the food chain is actually a little microorganism called a prion.

I think there was a subcompact car called a Prion, actually. Maybe that’s why the auto industry is where it is today.

Fellas’, My Mac and Cheese will have your girl scratching the wall like a cat in heat. #twtlish10:06 AM Jun 25th from web

Must be the combination of Spanish Fly and roofies in the sauce…

Can’t stand Rachel Ray.  Love the Neelys.  I’m a big fan of Alton Brown. Sandra Lee needs rehab and then “tablescape” removed permanently from hers and now my vocabulary.

As I’ve mentioned before, their online recipes taken from the the stars themselves are all too frequently very wrong.

Why do I watch?  MSNBC is on reruns of prison tales on the weekend and it’s too damn quiet here.

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