My, somebody forgot his meds today!

I don’t know about you guys, but in my house, there’s this handy-dandy deviced called “a remote.”

Somerby’s screed is essentially a puffed-up version of the old complaint about the greasy spoon: “Such bad food. And such small portions!”

Rhodes scholar is now an insult? Only in America.

mugging and preening and pirouetting and juggling and tittering and guffawing and smirking and winking and face-squinching and life-enjoying.

Someone has confused Maddow with Palin. Except for the R.S. bit. Also.

Heh, did I nail his writing style too well?  You guys do know that was a parody, right? I guess it’s hard to tell lately with the stuff Bob’s been churning out.

Goddamn it, that parody made me want to mug and preen and pirouette and juggle and titter and guffaw and smirk and wink and squinch my face and enjoy life!

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, that read like a Michael Savage opening monologue.

I think I need to update my “Five People I’d Like To Punch” list on Facebook.

Kevin, I bow to your genius.

(Also—Get a Lue! And Grow a Brain, Morans!)

Doh! You are way too clever, Grand Master K.

HTP, don’t you know that we’ve all been subsumed by the MSM Borg and only Bob Somerby is the Way, the Truth, and the Light? It’s too late for me (I didn’t Get a Lue in time!), but for god’s sake, save yourself!

Well done, Mr. Somerby!

And FWIW, the lesser Somerby once again rose to the bait (Cox *and* ‘bags!), though he hasn’t managed to work in Sanchez just yet.

I’m a humorless cock weasel.

David Shuster ROCKS:

I’m a humorless cock weasel.

Is there any other kind?  Hiyooooo!

“Love is a snowmobile racing across the frozen tundra until suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the cock weasels come.”

If “Somerby agrees with me” = “prematurely correct”, then does this mean Kevin K. and Lambert are now the same person?  Spooky.

Kevin, do you take requests? I think the next preening, humorless asshats you parody should be Lambert and bugfucker. Some suggestions: start by pretending acronyms == wit, add a heaping helping of self-importance (e.g. start a new Progressive Blogosphere, or make your sig a Gandhi quote so that everyone groks just how important your struggle is), pointlessly sprinkle your writing with French interjections, and most importantly, make sure their ur-PUMA bitterness permeates every single fucking word you write, regardless of topic.

Kevin, do you take requests?

Maybe we should start a parody series. There are an endless assortment of self-important ass-berets to mock. I’ve been threatening to do a Peggy Noonan piece lately, but I’ve got to get the paying work outta the way first…

I’ve tried to parody Jonah Goldberg, but the urge to start cutting off appendages takes over after the first paragraph or so.

Betty, I think the best way to channel Noonan is to imbibe generously from the same brand of madeira that she keeps on hand to help her recover from those Dantean descents into hell she is forced to make every so often in order to report on all the “incivility” that is out there.

And a fainting couch. Also.

I would be willing to tackle MoDo.

I don’t mean write a parody—I mean literally tackle her.

It must be very strange to be Bob Somerby. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can’t get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.

Also.

As far as imitating Goldberg goes, I believe his writing is close to nonsense speech, with these additions:
1.) a bald assertion that such and such a critic is agreeing with him, but the critic doesn’t understand his own argument.
2.) a proviso that this could be argued more fully, but it’s not really worth his time.
3.) dashing off to somewhere where he’ll be surrounded by important right-wingers.

O.M.G. Kevin.  That was just brilliant.  Now I have the strength to make it through tomorrow.

Kevin, I’d give you a big wet kiss but my husband just gave me a dirty Sanchez while we watched Maddow on TiVo.  We honked and giggled and tweeted and preened and chortled and wheezed like fat stupid Americans with WalMart tastes and a megachurch budget throughout her clown-car exploits.

Ya know, though I’ve only been reading this guy lately thanks to your mocking (so he really ought to thank you himself!), it occurs to me that he condescends to his readership in far greater proportion than he accuses Maddow of doing with her viewership.

Did he used to be a big deal? Was there ever anything to him other than treating everyone else as if they’re tabula rasa in need of his divine guidance because only he figured out that MSM generally sucks? (George Seldes? Who was that?)

He and his minions remind me of the idiot stoner boys in my English class who would write papers analyzing Rush lyrics for their “hidden” meaning. “So you see—the trees are really PEOPLE!”

Only the stoner boys were generally affable.

Obloviator is right.  Bob is the way.

This was not too mean, funny in the middle, a good enough parody.

Ahippo is kind, but wrong.  bob may not have thousands of fan boys commenting, but since he dent take commnts- you can thats his wish.  but how many other bloggers have been on the cover of the CJR?  How many other have a readership that include a ex VP, a former Prez, a NY knight and his Lady (Sir Harold and Tina)and a hollywood diva, who goes by the nickname Babs, as readers? bob may not have a giant audience, but its bigger than you think and important. The problem is that since he is loathed by many in the beltway media, people are fearful to promote him.  The dirty secret in dc is that all these msm clowns just LIVE to appear on the cable shows (especialy Matthews) and Meet the Press’ and who does bob go after more than anyone? Russert & Matthews. But be sure, even though he may now may be shunned by the angry kossck krowd, all of the dc pol media still reads bob regularly, mostly because they enjoy watching their colleagues be savaged.  It is that kind of crowd.

And Kevin, Ana Marie Cox does like saying her last name over and over to herself in the mirror while she mugs and preens and pirouettes and juggles and titters.

God call.

So score one for faux Bob.

Please ponder this, sans smirk…Al Gore really did say that to me about Bob. Think ANYBODY has ever said that about Obloviator?

Contrary to tv mythos, we are not all equal. Bob was born smarter than me or you or josh or dr duncan.  ive spnt my life ither working with, in,or against the natl political media.  i first met bob on a show i produced in 98.  he was one of the few who understod our media’s sickness. he warned everyone what was gonna happen in 2000, but no one could believe it. 

even though i know you wont listen, im telling ya, its a grave mistake to dismiss bob’s understanding on this.

bob was born without the ambition gene.  people who think his work is tinged by jealousy are far off the mark.

Bob has done the hard work and helped changed the media dynamic with little help.  he fought the fights alone for 10 years without asking for reward. He doesnt take or beg for money like the average pol blogger. He hasnt built a worshipful clubhouse of commentors. He does what he does simply because he believes that without a truthful media, in the long run, we’re doomed.

His Gore refs arent there just because they good teaching references. Dont you think it is vital that we know and understand the role the media played in destroying the world as we knew it. 

How many died because of the games MSNBC, Matthews and his msm guests played as they ridiculed and mocked Gore and pumped bush in 2000?

Please understand - 80 - 90% of Olbermann and Maddow’s guests are the same fools who fiddled as we burned back then.

But because Bob dares to tell truths about the flaws in our new day news “heroes”, you folks mock him.

Both Plato and Bob sure as shit are right about this stuff.

Same as it Ever Was…

i oughta proofread but never do…

“bob may not have thousands of fan boys commenting, but since he doesent take commnts- you can guess thats his wish….

amazing..obliviator…doesnt even know who bob is and compares to “stoner boys in my English class” - “analyzing Rush lyrics”...

wow.

anyone ho knew anything about Bob would know that he and his entire staff listen exclusively to Bob Dylan.

Awesome.

It sucks, because Somerby was a god once.  His weakness, his demon rum, is his belief that morality = evenhandedness.  Dude, on every issue, some people are just right and some people aren’t.  And passing moral judgment on commentators’ rhetorical tropes without taking that fact into account is just fucking stupid.

(In “It sucks,” “It” refers to Somerby’s decline, not this post.  This post is brilliant.)

Do you get paid to name drop, you sad little man?

And yes, you ought to proofread.

But I’m not sure that in your case you actually know enough about the mechanics of written English for it to make a significant difference.

Cornhusker? No, but we tried.

Now THATS funny!

Bob was dead on today.  The Spiccoli ref was sharp. Remember JS line apre the pizza incident?: “what a dick!”

but as to the analysis, how can you not be alarmed by the idiocy of those two shows wasted segments?  havent we only a zillion issues and bills to discuss and fight for?

bob likes jokes, hes a comic and comedy writer for crissakes!

the thing about maddow is that bob formally thought very highly of her…pre her celebrity.
and Schuster, who used to boink one of my interns in 04, though friendly,is a dullard fratboy in real life.

dear me obloviator - you and your childish put downs…

you just are such an anger glutton. but if you inist,ill feed you more.

obloviatr, i tell you of my background in order to put you and your unlearned and unearned arrogance where it belongs.  sitting on its spitting with jealousy,insecurity and rage.

i went to Columbia and like BO, I majored in poli-sci (graduating with honors which BO sadly wasnt able to pull off)I also minored in lit and ofttimes I get paid serious money to write very carefully.

but here at a blog, i barely pause and never even glance at the screen.(im multi-taking and/or blackberrying you see)

oh yeah, being brilliant and all, why is it that you are at a school where you have classes (or shutter-teach) with all them Deep thing Rushboys?

wha. are you a “poor test taker”?

pardon me.

that should be:

sitting on its ASS spitting with jealousy,insecurity and rage.

thank you very much.

Someone thinks his IQ is 2XU.

Sweetcheeks or whatever your real name is (I’m sure it would really impress me if you told me, unlike you, I didn’t need to go to Columbia to study poli sci OR suck Bob Somerby’s cock to figure out that most mainstream media is full of shit. I know how to research and look things up (like the comparable legislative records of presidential candidates, for instancE). So while you endless psychoanalyze and attribute false motives to people you don’t know and use a series of lame-ass pseudonyms (my real name is Kerry Reid), all in the name of your sad fan-boy “Whatever Bob says!” hero-worship, you don’t realize that you’re not saying anything in defense of him—you’re just making yourself look like an insecure name-dropping sycophantic ass who hasn’t figured out how to avoid the trap of binary thinking. (As in “men use invective/ladies never do!” Are you 80? How long have you had such antediluvian notions of what constitutes “feminine” discourse? Or in other words: why are you such a sexist putz?)

Your pronounced “with us or against us!” mentality is rather familiar from the past several years. If one doesn’t follow Somerby or hang on his every word or fail to protect him from charges of being a humorless cock-weasel, then one must just be a brainwashed jealous hateful sheeple in love with mainstream media.

Um, no. One can ignore Somerby AND ignore most of mainstream media, and still come up with the correct answer (i.e., Hillary Clinton wasn’t the victim of a widespread media conspiracy to derail her nomination). It’s super-easy once you abandon the puerile “Great Man” categorical thinking in which you engage.

And you’re right—there are lots of other things to talk about than teabagging. So why is Somerby wasting his time talking about Maddow talking about teabagging? And why are you wasting your time here when you clearly—devoid of any demonstrable evidence—believe yourself more important, connected, and wiser?

I’m very much enjoying this thread.  Dem Dem is Ms Polly, who is suspiciously absent from the discussion, perhaps?

I’m sure she would get the allusion to Power Line from my previous comment, so that’s what I’m guessing.

I’m very much enjoying this thread.  Dem Dem is Ms Polly, who is suspiciously absent from the discussion, perhaps?

My money’s on Strange. (Consistently bad grammar is difficult to master, eh, old bean?)

Dem Dem aint Ms Polly.

Powerline is well known rw blog, no?

or a snack bar of some sort.

and you are right about somerby.

personally, id bet he gets a knock on his door from the Macarthur people sooner or later.

Hunger Tallest Palin

aint you never heard of vernacular?

I writes like this cause Im a-talkin to the rubes.

think faulkner.

or keith olbermann

Yes, yes, dem dem, they’re a snack bar.  Powernut crunch.

HTP knows bad grammar when he sees it, winning this round.  Dang it.

I writes like this cause Im a-talkin to the rubes.

think faulkner.

or keith olbermann

or larry the cable guy.

Althippo, I’m presently involved in a gig that leaves me no energy to type such odd, particularly blank verse, and at such length, too.

and pumped bush in 2000?

Oh ha, ha. Pffft!

the thing about maddow is that bob formally thought very highly of her…pre her celebrity.

That pretty much sums it up ... “celebrity.”  Somerby has completely written her off because she’s doing well and she’s not allowing him to produce her show from behind the shadowy and safe confines of his HTMLs (nerd!). Anyone (read: me) who has paying attention to Maddow’s career at Air America could tell you and that humorless scold and professional corporate comedian Somerby (PowerPointz iz funnyz!) that Maddow has always weaved a dose of playfulness and good humor into her shows.  NOTHING HAS CHANGED.  Nothing. Except Bob.

such odd, particularly blank verse, and at such length, too.

What a pleasant inversion of the Woody Allen line: The verse here is so blank, and such large portions.

personally, id bet he gets a knock on his door from the Macarthur people sooner or later.

Close, dem dem, but AltHippo beat ya to it:

It must be very strange to be Bob Somerby. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can’t get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.

larry the cable guy…

ding-ding!

I win!

the ultimate rube - my intention is now clear.

what- did the “high info” rubes ‘round here think i was droppin’ my gs cause thats how i thought dem words was spelled?

man, some folks be rube-cubed.

—-

now to this silliness:

“Somerby has completely written her off because she’s doing well and she’s not allowing him to produce her show from behind the shadowy and safe confines of his HTMLs (nerd!).”

Please tell me your not so dim. Sigh.

Anyone (read: me) who has paying attention to Maddow’s career at Air America

I worked with the original founders on the start up AA and lobbied to hard to have Liz Winstead fired which directly got Rachel her own show.  I love political humor, just not STUPID unending lame kossack style snark.  Of course there was a joke there.  A JOKE. Stewart, who is the man, did it in about 40 seconds…not over3 hours.

Jon and Colbert have the comedy meets news bit covered just fine thank you. Shes not filling any dire need with her smirks y’know.

—-

could tell you and that humorless scold and professional corporate comedian Somerby

—-

All comics do corporate gigs.  You want Lewis Black? Get me a check for 25 Gs and Ill have Lewis at your company’s family picnic in Weehauken.  Mostly Bob writes jokes for hire.  He services at least one of your political comedy heroes, but im not saying who.

—-

that Maddow has always weaved a dose of playfulness and good humor into her shows.  NOTHING HAS CHANGED.  Nothing. Except Bob.

—-

first part is true, second part is plain stupid.  (and after the “ta da” I had such hopes for you.)

heres a simple change….3 days of “dick jokes.”

3 fucking days of dick jokes. Are you fucking kidding me?

And they were Bad “dick jokes” too btw.

“Once there was a Golden age…”

oblov:

It’s simple.

If anyone believes that Hillary Clinton was NOT the victim of a widespread media campaign to derail her nomination, they are either media illiterate or dumb as dirt.

You choose.

Is that binary enough for ya?

And I dont blame team Obama for this one bit, only the DC based poliical media.  Aka “the 500”

The End.

In point of fact, Mr. Somerby, those were testicle jokes.

Really, a mangy art-school type such as I should not have to tell you to define your terms more nicely.

Now, “I graduated cum laude”, THAT’s a dick joke.

I found some video of .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).  Enjoy!

Geez, that parody was too well written.  I can’t even follow his f*cking writing half the time, it’s so all over the place, rambling, poorly written sentences, jumping out nowhere, nothing to do with its lede or headline.  You nailed it perfectly.

It was brilliant of the MSM to trick Hillary Clinton into sending Mark Penn truckloads of other people’s money so he could turn it into shit sandwiches.  Bravo, MSM, job well done!

Hillary Clinton is a powerful woman who made decisions that affected her campaign for the worse. Playing up her victimhood actually takes power away from her.

She was not blown hither and thither by forces beyond her control. She listened to the wrong men, and her closest staff were afraid to level with her. That’s an extremely bad sign in anyone seeking executive position.

all that may be true miss polly, and of course is the MSM’s CW, but it doesnt change the effect of biased negative coverage.

i suggest you go view the 10/30/07 phila-russert debate or maybe a SNL sketch or two that spoke to this obvious truth.

and as to will -

yeah, bob, who graduated MCL, Phi Beta kappa {Philosophy} from Harvard can’t write…

but YOU can!

right…

I think someone is confused as to what constitutes CW. 

SNL and Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Breathtakingly hip insider stuff, that.

People of genuine accomplishment don’t brag about their degrees, either.

But I guess the crack-head who sleeps on that person’s couch finds them impressive…

Is dem dem Somerby’s sprezzatura?

Please tell me your not so dim.

Ta da!

I worked with the original founders on the start up AA and lobbied to hard to have Liz Winstead fired which directly got Rachel her own show.

I invented snow.

I invented snow.

Oh yeah? Well, I named the tools. I’m especially proud of “ball-peen hammer” and “chisel.” “Screwdriver” and “rasp” sort of named themselves, but it was I who officially pasted on their labels and named all other tools since early hominids first sharpened stones. So now you rubes know who you’re dealing with. Don’t dare to question me again. Ever.

Okay, at the risk of reactivating the most tiresome, pedantic, self-aggrandizing motherfucking troll ever, I’d like to weigh in on the utility of mugging, preening, pirouetting, juggling and tittering, etc. Ridicule is an effective weapon.

I don’t think I need to remind anyone here that vile toads like Limbaugh as well as assorted MSM hacks spent years ridiculing liberals (turning the very word into a epithet!) as hapless, criminal-coddling wimps who are eager to confiscate a working stiff’s pay to fund a fleet of Cadillacs for illegal immigrant, gay, parolee welfare queens with 15 illegitimate children. As Somerby himself has tirelessly documented, they also ridiculed Gore, helping make the 2000 election close enough for Bush to steal. The effective use of ridicule is a primary way the GOP—and media hacks—get people to vote against their own best interests.

So if Maddow and company want to turn the ridicule ray gun on the wingnuts—if they want to make anyone who was even thinking of associating themselves with this absurd tea party stunt feel like a loser, I say more power to them. Because not only does ridicule work—and here’s a key distinction our troll doesn’t seem to grasp even though others have said it—we have the truth on our side! Gay, parolee, Cadillac-driving welfare queens don’t exist. Gore never claimed to have invented the internet. But this teabag crap is stupid, and it deserves to be mocked relentlessly.

Are their jokes “bad”? Do Rachel and company spend too much time on it? That’s a matter of personal preference. Personally, I think Spicoli jokes are the lamest shit ever, and I’m sure many of today’s media consumers assume anyone who makes such a reference is old enough to have given Dolly Madison a hickey back in the day. I also think spending days priggishly analyzing the progressive media’s ridicule of a GOP Astroturf movement is a big fat waste of time. But other folks apparently find such references a scream and such exercises the height of relevance. Viva la difference.

Snow? Tools? Ha! The sun shines out of my behind.

CW: And water may be wet, Mr. Somerby.

I believe the teabaggers are saving “Dirty Sanchez” for their anti-immigrant rallies.

And I’d just like to take a moment to mention that this:

and then the analysts asked us something that made us uncomfortable and we shouted and shouted for them to get out of our heads but they wouldn’t!!

is a perfect storm of win.

Yes, well do I remember how gingerly George “I used to work for the husband of Hillary Clinton” Stephanopoulos handled Messiah Obama during that ABC debate. He could barely whisper a question about Reverend Wright, and so clearly was eager to move on to more substantive issues.

But for reals, guys: did you know that media is corporate-owned and tends to follow a pro-capitalism, authoritarian bent in its framing? Wild! I thought all news channels were held in a public trust administered by the Sisters of Mercy.

I thought all news channels were held in a public trust administered by the Sisters of Mercy.

Maybe dem dem is bugfucker.

Good christ, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that bugfucker thought Somerby’s post contained “LOLz aplenty!,” but c’mon.

At least Sarah gets it:

Somerby’s shrillness
By Sarah on Wed, 04/15/2009 - 12:05pm

is not inappropriate.
But damn, he grates.

Why not contact the objects of his scorn directly?
Because sometimes—and this column is one such—he almost descends into self-parody in the throes of his ecstatic denunciations. He’s a half a hair away from becoming the Elmer Gantry of media critique.

This is fucking awesome:

i went to Columbia and like BO, I majored in poli-sci (graduating with honors which BO sadly wasnt able to pull off)I also minored in lit and ofttimes I get paid serious money to write very carefully.

Comedic emphasis mine. 

Sadly? Ho! Yeah look how sadly things turned out for him.  Entirely predictable though because everyone knows that undergrad GPA is the most surefire means of gauging a person’s future prospects.  Be a well rounded person who develops other useful life skills by socializing and shit and you are so fucked that you might end up in a dead end job like President.  Bury your nose in your books, hinge your self worth on achievement of a certain number, develop the resentments of a malcontented misfit and there’s no telling what you’ll accomplish.  You might even end up a bitter Clinton dead-ender showing up to hero worship Bob Somerby when he’s being disrespected. “BO?”  HAHAHA!  Will the laughs never cease?

What gets me is that he apparently expects us to believe he’s something other than a pimply-faced Piggly Wiggly bag boy with delusions of grandeur. Dude, it’s the INTERNET! An argument from authority is a weak-ass gambit in any venue, but it’s a fucking joke on the tubez!

If he did go to Columbia, it’s a sure bet that he got in as a legacy.

And I fail to understand why writing carefully isn’t something an alleged Ivy League honors grad doesn’t do as a matter of course, regardless of the medium. Is there some strange electromagnetic property associated with the internet that causes one to forget grammar, spelling, and punctuation rules (as separate from run-of-the-mill typos, that is?) That’s like saying “I know how to eat with a fork and knife when I’m in a fancy restaurant and somebody else is picking up the tab, but at home, I just fill the kitchen sink with a ten-gallon can of Hormel’s chili and dive right in!”

Kev, the similarities between your parody and Somerby’s post today is eerie.  I think we need to show BF and Lambert your parody in a non-Rumproast context and see if they think it’s the real deal.  Premature correctness, here we come!

Oh and I forgot to mention.  This parody was hilarious.  It reminded me why I stopped reading Somerby a couple of years ago.

Rachel and Jon had the same headline “The Buc Stops Here” for the pirate story. It always irritates me when any news looks like my fake news, not least because I am an irritable bitch.

Just FYI. Please don’t think I am in any way agreeing with dem dem. I too hate her/him with the passion of a thousand evangelical Duggar kids.