Release The KRAKEN!!

What’s it been now? almost a week since Speaker Boehner decided to Release the Kraken! and, already, I suspect he’s black and blue from excessive #facepalm-ing.

Meanwhile, Judge Gawdy (R-SC) is powdering his wig and spreading himself thin in a pre-game talkathon about what a regular - nay, totally unremarkable and unassuming - hero he is, who just happens to be sitting on a shock-and-awe-ful pile of bullpuckey evidence that has eluded his well-meaning but bumbling colleagues who just don’t fully grasp how the criminal mind operates.

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Yep.  A week into it and this latest chapter of Benghazi!Benghazi!BENGHAZI!! is about to take a serious turn toward the absurd, as only conservatives know how to turn things.

As a somewhat skeptical Politico writer put it:

In fact, Republicans may be going on something of a mission improbable to yield new information and turn up new clues in a wide-ranging probe that has already spanned 13 hearings, 25,000 pages of documents and 50 briefings.

The House will be out of session all of August and is expected to adjourn by early October so members can campaign for reelection.

That leaves 3½ months for the Gowdy committee to do its work and prepare a report for the House, if it is to have any impact by Election Day. The White House will most likely slow-walk its responses to the South Carolina Republican’s panel, although a subpoena to Clinton — considered likely by many Democrats and Republicans — would get huge media coverage.

Coverage of the proceedings themselves will almost certainly provide hours of eyerolling, cringeworthy footage, like that we have come to expect from the very high standard that Rep. Issa has set for Congressional investigations.  That’ll be further out, but for now there’s oh so much entertaining nonsense already that the preliminaries probably merit their own Comedy Central Special.

Let’s see now . . .

Yesterday we had Judge Gawdy visiting with Serious Conservative Poobah Pundit, Joe Scarborough, during which session Gowdy’s inner-prosecutor got the better of him and produced this unforced error:

“It would be shame on us if we intentionally dragged this out for political expediency,” said Gowdy, the special committee’s chairman. “On the other hand, if an administration is slow-walking document production, I can’t end a trial simply because the defense won’t cooperate.”

Oh, dear.  It’s never a good sign when an investigator believes he’s conducting a trial.  Guess that explains a little about where Judge Gawdy was coming from when he named his three hounds Judge, Jury and Bailiff?

Then there was that embarrassing moment in which Judge Gawdy enjoined his colleagues to resist the temptation to fund-raise off of his investigative sacred duty which said colleagues immediately ignored.

There’s a newbie with a whole lot of clout . . . somebody needs to explain to the Judge, quick, that fund-raising is the sole purpose of his mission, that he is a pawn, not the King and to save his leadership skills for another day.

And, of course, no meteoric rise to fame is without its inevitable death threats.  But not to worry Judge Gawdy, as Speaker Boehner will tell you “it never hurts to be a target or a victim.”

Speaking of the Speaker, who unfortunately is not universally revered among his colleagues or constituents, there is a conspiracy theory swirling among some of the lesser lights of the TEA Party who are urging Judge Gawdy to, while he’s at it, prove that Boehner, himself, was part of the conspiracy to cover up Benghazi.

This from a very special Open Letter to Trey Gowdy from the Tea Party Tribune:

As expected, yesterday Speaker of the House John Boehner announced that he had appointed you to head a select committee to investigate the 2012 Benghazi attacks. Like he had a choice after your name lit up the airwaves and internet all weekend long. To back out of that appointment now would have been political suicide for Boehner what with his primary election today, but the good news is that you are the best there is to find…if it exists…a Boehner tie to the Obama cover-up of what happened that fateful night…after all one has to wonder why Boehner of all people opposed this committee for the longest time.

And Rep. Gowdy it too must raise your ire and peek (sic) your interest as to why just days after the e-mails were made public that our ever-loving Traitor-in-Chief hired Neil Eggleston…a criminal defense attorney…as his legal counsel. Pray tell why would Obama need the very same criminal attorney who pulled Billy-Boy and Hillary’s butt out of the Whitewater fire and who got former Obama Chief-of Staff-and current Chicago Mayor Rahm ‘Dead Fish’ Emanuel off the hook in the Blagojevich pay-to-play scandal…I think you know why as only a man with much to hide would call in the big guns to protect his nasty old self.

So much for Advice.

Let’s move on to Consent, shall we? from the far more politically astute and sophisticated journalists of Red State:

When the committee gets up and running, Gowdy is going to be a national presence almost EVERY night; and yes, the MSM will be forced to carry it.

I trust the committee will be able to uncover, and prove, the complicity of the Obama administration in the Benghazi tragedy, and in the process derail Hillary’s 2016 candidacy.

When this happens, Gowdy will rise to the top of everyone’s list of VP candidates; indeed, there is not one potential GOP contender that he would not make better.

And Gowdy would be superb on the campaign trail.

The timing is perfect. It’ll likely take the committee more than a year to conduct the investigation. By that time we’ll begun to have weeded out some presidential prospects,, (sic) and the talk will start to turn to the bottom of the ticket.

Cruz/Gowdy 2016!!!! Be still my heart!!!

Please excuse the excess !!!!s As a journalist myself, I know how hard it can be to type during an orgasm.

Posted by Bette Noir on 05/08/14 at 09:27 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '14Election '16Hillary ClintonNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

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I am so utterly surprised that “peek” made it past the esteemed editors of Tea Party Tribune!  What’s even funnier is that they probably first argued amongst themselves whether it should have been “peak” or “peek.”  Couldn’t possibly be something all Frenchy like “pique”—that’s just silly.

Looks like Trey Detective is going to be a farce, not a drama.

Others think it could be a sci-fi adventure.

Also: Gowdy/Greedo 2016!  [/shameless blogwhore]

Others think it could be a sci-fi adventure.

Clearly I should refresh before blogwhoring!  Sorry.

a Boehner tie to the Obama cover-up of what happened that fateful night

“That fateful night.” Was it dark & stormy, too?

The T.P. mind, straight outta sixth grade.

@M. Bouffant the prose is gonna be purple, especially that flowing off Gawdy’s tongue, he has a tendency toward oration.  I think he thinks of himself as a cross between Atticus Finch and Henry Clay.

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