Rich Lowry’s Little Starbursts

    Rich Lowry's Little Starbursts

Rich Lowry was so cockteased by Sarah Palin last night that it’s not even funny:

A very wise TV executive once told me that the key to TV is projecting through the screen. It’s one of the keys to the success of, say, a Bill O’Reilly, who comes through the screen and grabs you by the throat. Palin too projects through the screen like crazy. I’m sure I’m not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, “Hey, I think she just winked at me.” And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can’t be learned; it’s either something you have or you don’t, and man, she’s got it.

Okay, who am I kidding?  It’s really fucking funny.

UPDATE: Coming soon to a store near you ... Rich Lowry’s Little Starbursts Stain Remover.

Posted by Kevin K. on 10/03/08 at 04:39 PM • Permalink

Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsElection '08St. McSameNuttersSarah PalinPoliblogsSkull Hampers

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That little dog on the shoulder is fucking hilarious. Man this has been a funny day, a motherfucking funny day.

Oh, and Kev? I tried to give you an explanation “cockles of my heart.”

I love the fact that every single humorous blog on the internet is making fun of Rich Lowry’s piece right now.

Like, we’re all doing it on our own, with no prompting…

As I said in my post, I feel sorry for the wives that have to clean up the “starbursts.”

I love the fact that every single humorous blog on the internet is making fun of Rich Lowry’s piece right now.

Yeah, I didn’t even know who to credit. I actually saw it first this morning mentioned at Atrios’ place in the comments, but they only quoted the wink sentence.  How in the fuck could you leave out the little starbursts?  That’s criminal!

Hey, HB, I’ll go look for it.  I’m going to be really angry if cockles doesn’t mean penises.  You’ve been warned, mister!

Then there are those of us who saw her wink and wondered if she’s a VP candidate , or a cheap hooker trolling for johns.

I bet ol’ Rich has the debate DVR’d and has the lube handy for when the wife and kids (does he have a wife and kids?) are out….

Yikes….

The best line of the night was when our own Strange8 said he was trying to see through her clothes. I used that line all day at work. And Senator McEstrus has been putting out his mating call all day.

I actually read a comment on CBS News’ website last night where a commenter actually owned up to a hardon when she winked.

VP Porn 

Two words for Lowry and his ilk:  Vapid.  Inane.

To elaborate Rich’s point, last night Palin reminded me of dates I’ve been on where the girl is pretty, but doggoneit, when she opens her mouth nothing but teh stupid comes out.  But I’ll be less conflicted in the voting booth then I am on a date.

This concentration on the “every person” image that the Republicans are so concerned with is ironic because it shows just how unlike the rest of us they are.  They all love Palin because they honestly believe she’s talking to middle America; to “Joe Six Pack”.  Between the most two recent examples of this and their fight against the bailout, they really think they’ve scored a coup in connecting with “average” Americans.  They aren’t—Palin’s as fake as, as..  I dunno if there’s an apt comparison to gauge how fake she is, actually.  Ironically enough, the closest thing to “Joe Sixpack” that any national politician can get was standing next to her last night.

Oh god, after reading this and listening to McCain’s honking mating call all I can . . all I can . . oh shit hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  Damn (wipes eyes).  Just can’t wait to tell the grandkids about the “stranger than fiction” Great Campaign of 2008.  Hope I’m also not telling it from the Poorhouse because 2008 also started the 30 year 2nd Great American Depression.

Just a thought:  Do you think Cindy McCain loves Sarah Palin as much as John McCain does?

Oh jesus! I watched a bit of Fox last night post debate to see what they were thinking (or not as the case may be) and it was all Sarah Palin all the time. Seriously i thought Sean Hannity was just going to start beating off on screen he was so puffed up. And then Dick Morris came…


...into the studio and blew a wad on Hannity. It was pretty bizzare. Or maybe i dreamt it.

Penthouse forum yep yep

Lowry was righteously mocked by Olbermann, Maddow and AC360. Olbermann even used the “m” word. Lowry will never, ever live that comment down. It’ll be referenced in his obit.

I feel sorry for the wives that have to clean up the “starbursts.”

Comment by Evan on 10/03/08 at 06:45 PM

Damn it, man, you made me waste good wine with that comment! I made a bigger mess than Lowry. Um, thanks.

Q: What’s the difference between Sarah Palin and Thanksgiving?

A: Thanksgiving is going to be here next month.

At least your mess didn’t smell like a teenage boy’s room.

Sparkle bukkake!

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