Rogue Rage Week Bulletin: Autobimbography Pub Launch Boosts Palin Facebook Fans to 1,000,000+

The massive media Ditzkrieg unleashed by today’s disembargoing of Going Rogue (Murdoch-Cthulu Press) ratcheted fan sign-ups for Sarah Palin’s Facebook page above the arbitrarily magical one million mark.

While statistically insignificant in a nation of 169 million registered voters, passing the million-fan milestone means that Palin now officially oversees an invisible blog empire 45% larger than the State of Alaska. 

Today at 2:50pm

I would like to thank everybody who has signed up to follow this Facebook page. We are now over one million strong! Our voices have been heard loud and clear on issues ranging from energy to healthcare. Your support has made this unfiltered communication medium a success.

Thank you so much!

- Sarah Palin

Yet, even as hundreds of nearly-identical congratulatory “You GO, Girl!” posts jam the FB servers, Palin still faces a daunting uphill fight to overtake potential 2012 primary-race rivals Nutella, I hate stupid people and I ♥ SLEEP.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 11/17/09 at 07:47 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

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I’m no Nate Silver, but even I can see Nutella will totally crush The Frozen Cheesecake Goddess in the GOP primary. The nutty, smooth goodness of Nutella appeals to everyone from Keith Olbermann to Glenn Beck. How can Palin hope to overcome such broad-based appeal? She’s toast. And what does toast bring to mind? Nutella, of course.

The massive media Ditzkrieg…

I’m not gay but I think I love you.  Let us run, run, run while Kevin is away and make the sweet, sweet love that only two manly men with exceedingly large brains can make. Or do… Or however it’s verbalized into action, via text…

I guess what I’m trying to say is… I love the DITZKREIG!!

Also, Autobimbography.  Such as.

Ripley, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to unleash those two snappy neologisms on an unsuspecting world.

Still, it’s not nearly as long as I’ve hungered to be swept off my feet—Pirate & Slave Girl-style—by a totally not-at-all gay guy who nonetheless understands the dark, forbidden, electric ecstasy of the Love-That-Dare-Not-Speak-Its-Hat-Size.

I am 6lbs, 1550cc and pons-curious. Contact me via Rumpmail, and we will make the angels weep with our throbbing brain-love.

Also, too, there’s this from Newsmax.  I’m not sure any of us realized what we were up against.  Sure, we joked and winked and smoked cigars while we discussed the size of our penises and made plans to meet in the Hamptons next season, but… We’re out of our league, it seems.

This book retails for almost $29

Almost $29.  Christ, we’ve been outplayed, outflanked and Outback Steahoused! Shit, I’m just glad that fucker didn’t get to $30 or… Well, I think we all know who would have the eggs on their faces, right?

We need to stop dickin’ around and get serious here, kids.  The next book we mock could very well make it to 30 fucking dollars.  $30 American!!  And then what the fuck are we gonna do?  Call our Aunt Jennys and ask for a place to blog from? 

What was that push up deal on FB?  10 pushups in 6 days?  Let’s get to it!  I’m gonna grab some lil smokies and watch a Bertie Higgins video, then I’m all over the next campaign thing.

*Dept. of Missing Social Media Critique*

I’m sure it was just an “oversight” but I note that you did not disclose that the usual coagulation of political consultants and chickenshit access bloggers is behind the “I Hate Stupid People” group.  “No relief for the dull normals” is the [operating] “principle” of the “creative class” [cough] types that make up it’s membership.  Good luck with that in 2012.  As for the Nutella claque, first they ignore your links, then group members “report” you for your (“off topic” and “increasingly hostile”) wall posts, then they ban you.  The NFB does not wish to engage but you already knew that.

Bertie Higgins - Key Largo

What, you fuckers thought I wasn’t serious? Don’t fuck with me, man.  I know people.

(Here’s the old version Going Rogue: The Higgins Years and Such. Also)

woah, i totally thought “nutella, i hate stupid people” was one facebook page. now, that’s change i can believe in!


Oh Strange, Oh Joy Oh Bliss.

Ever so much more graceful than the neologism I’d been working on, “memOHWHATADREADFULBITCHoire.”

This book retails for almost $29

Not on Amazon, it isn’t.

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