Rumproast 2010: New Year’s Day Hangover Hugs & Kisses

If you can look at this graphic without wincing, you didn’t have enough to drink.

WAKEY, WAKEY! It’s the first day of 2010 (or “XX0X” in the Old Rumpic Calendar). And no matter how early it is, Teh Stupid has already been upright, blogging and making fools of themselves on FoxNews for at least an hour.

Sure, it hurts to move. And, yes, you’re wearing the clothes you swapped with a junkie at the Greyhound Station. But, gosh darn it, staring at the toilet and making kitty-hairball gacking noises isn’t going to move the Overton Window, dictate the acceptable limits of Online Progressive Dialogue or unsled Sarah Palin’s Idiotarod to the White House in 2012.

Kevin K. has given us this safe, nurturing, trigger-free platform from which to unleash Psionic Waves of 4th-Generation Asymmetric Snark against the Evil Outernet of Unassimilated Nobots and Nutters. But, as a poor but wise man once observed, these rats ain’t gonna fuck themselves.

Let’s brush off the peanut shells, fish the butts out of our beer mugs and squint blearily into the blazing dawn of the Decade of Rumproast! Deus Lo Volt!

Oh, and BTW, I really love you guys. *hic*

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 01/01/10 at 10:45 AM • Permalink

Categories: Booze • Politics • Polisnark • Rumproast Related •

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And we love you, too, whatever it was you just said there.

Comment by gimmeabreak on 01/01/10 at 11:08 AM

Uh, hi, Gimme! I didn’t realize you were still here.

We didn’t, uh, you know, did we? It’s all a little foggy after the flaming shots and the Twister finals.

Comment by StrangeAppar8us on 01/01/10 at 11:30 AM

I don’t think so, Strange, but I’ll look around for any incriminating evidence after I clean up all the liquor and beer bottles.

Comment by gimmeabreak on 01/01/10 at 11:45 AM

Tomorrow Begins Last Night

Brilliant.

As was “hope-nosis.”

Now excuse me while I get back to soaking my head and squeezing bo ssäm out through my pores.

Comment by Kevin K. on 01/01/10 at 12:19 PM

And no matter how early it is, Teh Stupid has already been upright, blogging and making fools of themselves

It’s the Yeats Rule!

Although Avastbug’s tent-folding would seem to give the lie to the passionate intensity part. As would Ratfucker Flagship Sarah Palin’s abrupt abnegation of gubernatorial pretense in favor of accepting yawps of adulation accompanied by grubby fistfuls of folding money.

You’re right, Strange, it is never too early to unleash a blistering broadside into her stern! Or any of these vessels of ratfuckery, to mix up a truly muddled metaphor.

Now if only I could remember where my steel-ribbed fan was, and how I got into these houndstooth plus-fours (gimme, I found a pawn ticket in the pocket for some kind of accordian or concertina or squeeze-box with your name on it; perhaps you’d best leave the Advocat flaming shots alone after last night?), and could procure some duct tape for my head, I’d be up and running and ready to follow Kevin and you and everybody Rumproast even into the abyss of blogospheric oblivion.

Or even the ghastly Effluents, or whatever that necrotic thing is.

Comment by Mrs. Polly on 01/01/10 at 12:44 PM

Thanks for that. I cuddled with my laptop for the first hour awake in this decade. Why is there SO much fucking white on webs. It makes my eyeballs hurt and the Ibuprofen is not helping. Doug called the kitchen a giant ashtray. Happy New Year and thanks for the link to the poor man. Cheers, J

Comment by Jamie on 01/01/10 at 01:21 PM

I’ve had nothing to drink in the past week and that makes my eyes hurt.

By the way, because I eschewed the demon rum, gin, vodka, champagne and whatever the hell it was that was Kevin brewed up in his crock pot I was able to gather lots of very [ahem] interesting photographic evidence last night. Bidding for the negatives starts at $1,000.

Except for the photos of _______ doing the ____ with _____ while swinging from the underside of a _______. (Sorry, but the market for _____ pron is really hot right now.)