Rumproast Exclusive! Book Event Scrammed After Palin is Confronted by “Future Sarah” from 2013

In a dramatic development eerily echoing recent speculation that the potentially Cosmos-collapsing Large Hadron Collider Project is being retroactively sabotaged from the future in order to prevent it from destroying the Universe, Sarah Palin hastily exited a book-signing event in Noblesville, IN yesterday after she came face-to-face with her future self from four years hence. 

Shown above (at left) in a photo published on Palin’s own Facebook site, the metal-clad “Future Sarah” reportedly presented the former Alaska Governor with a copy of the book she will write following her spectacular, crushing defeat by Barack Obama in the 2012 presidential election.

According to witnesses, Palin’s Jetson-like doppleganger asked her to sign the book, entitled Never Mind, then encouraged her to “buy gold, don’t sweat the small shit and absolutely DO NOT return those text messages from Ashton Kutcher.”

Autograph in hand, “Future Sarah” winked once, then vanished in a coruscating ball of red-white-and-blue sparks.

A pale, grim-faced Palin abruptly concluded the meet-and-greet and raced to her tour bus, leaving behind a crowd of angry, bewildered fans who will eventually derail her presidential prospects in November 2012 by voting for as-yet-unannounced TimeCube prophet Dr. Gene Ray.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 11/20/09 at 01:56 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

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if only they’d touched…

Dwight,

Don’t drink the coffee - it’s poisoned.

Signed,
Future Dwight

Poor thing. That had to be quite traumatic.

Ahh, Noblesville, home of the Indiana Klan. She fits right in. Lots of “Real Americans” there.

Just goes to show that people are really buying the Bumpit!

That’s not a Bumpit, it’s the plate they put in her head to deflect Democratic Truth Rays.™

Did anyone notice the caption of that photo on Palin’s facebook page?

Gov. Sarah Palin talks with a woman who’s looks resemble that of Gov. Sarah Palin at Borders bookstore during the third “Going Rogue” book signing event Thursday, November 19, 2009, in Noblesville, IN. Photo by Shealah Craighead. Copyright SarahPAC.

Emphasis mine.

Yes. That woman who is looks resemble that of Palin’s. I guess the only thing left to say is, who knew Palin took the time to caption her own photos!?

The rip in the time/space continuum may be larger than you previously suspected, Strange, for in back of Future Sarah, isn’t that Sarah That Might Have Been, who diverged from the Sarah That Is one day back in her youth, when she DIDN’T enter the Miss Wasilla beauty pageant, but went to Fairbanks on a dare instead, where she met and married a pipe-fitter from the lower 48, not to converge with Sarah That Is until the world-shattering publication of Going Rogue crumpled time into a labyrinth that folds back upon itself in infinite regression?

OMG, isn’t one Sarah enough!!

So does she buy the VW? The suspense is killing me.

Jesus! Oh man, my heart ...

Time to update my “Reasons I’m glad I left Indiana” list. And no one tell Greta Von Stalker, she’ll want to clone herself or something.

Re: RubberNecker’s quote. I can’t decide if they keep calling her Gov. Palin because they think she is still the governor, or they’re stupid.

Or maybe Palin changed her name and her first name is now Gov.

Somebody should start collecting the “Feedback” statistics on SP’s facebook page (Likes and Comments). In just these few days, her nrs are tanking FAST.

Palin is easy to imitate….1. Sit quietly for a moment. 2. Cross your legs. 3. Place your right palm on your chin and your left palm on the top of your skull. 4. Twist sharply to the right and your head will come right off. 5. Empty contents onto floor, (if you have a pet they’ll most likely consume said brains.) 6. Reverse Step 4. Go Rogue, Pretend to know policy, poo poo policies in a Rogue way. Wink a lot. Collect cash.

Roads to nowhere? Where we’re going we don’t need any roads…

haha! this made my day.

...and there could not be a more symbolically delicious photo than this one.

Comment by Pumalicious! on 11/21/09 at 08:59 AM

Pumalicious, that’s a great catch!

If only the “History and politics” was switched with “biography,” then the order would be, in decreasing proximity and relevance to Palin and her book, Religion-> Biography-> History and Politics -> Literature!

It still works great though. That made my morning. Somebody email bagnewsnotes!

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