Run Silent, Run Flat

She’s unconventional. She does things her own way. She doesn’t ask directions. She’s never read the Owner’s Manual. And, dammit, she’s so gosh-darn badass that if she blows a tire on the tour bus, she’ll wrap Chuck Norris around the rim and drive on him till he screams “Akirameru!” and explodes in a shower of Chuck-Norris-shaped hunks of rubber and nylon.

Today, her stealth campaign for President begins in earnest — for the umpteenth time — with the ten-city opening of The Undefeated, an independent film that promises to be the Atlas Shrugged: Part I of independent films about boring stuff other than railroads and greed, but with just as many interminable talky parts. 

Today, the world changes forever, for at least a week. And you know it in your heart, because you’re a fucking cockroach who can’t stand the light of Decency and Truth.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 07/15/11 at 10:00 AM • Permalink

Categories: MoviesMovie NewsPoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

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The movie’s existence is tolerable just because it inspired this post.

an independent film that promises to be the Atlas Shrugged: Part I of independent films about boring stuff other than railroads and greed

Laugh? I thought I’d die.

I call bullshit on that tire pressure gauge in her hand~the president touted it’s use during the campaign.  No way she’d be palling around with terrorist implements.

She would, however, run over Chuck Norris if it would help her cause.

LOL

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Run Silent, Run Flat | Rumproast

I wonder if the woman pictured on the MT site knows the ChiTown Turd is using her likeness.

Also:

And, dammit, she’s so gosh-darn badass that if she blows a tire on the tour bus, she’ll wrap Chuck Norris around the rim and drive on him till he screams “Akirameru!” and explodes in a shower of Chuck-Norris-shaped hunks of rubber and nylon.

I love you, but only in a completely platonic way, of course.

I call bullshit on that tire pressure gauge in her hand

But, but…that’s the point — Honey Badger don’t give a shit about proper inflation for improved gas mileage! Honey Badger don’t even need tires to roll down the road. Honey Badger makes its own road.

@YAFB - I followed your link to an article about roaches and Palin’s movie.  Terribly written but I think the gist is that there are a lot of roaches scurrying around where the movie is being shown.  I’m not sure how that’s a selling point but I’d suggest not setting your popcorn down.

Heh~she’ll always have enough gas anyway with what comes out of her mouth.

Sarah Palin Movie Debuts to Empty Theater in Orange County.

Comment by Tasty Pie on 07/15/11 at 10:35 AM

LULZ! I forgot it was “Undefeated” day. Looks like movie-goers did too…

I followed your link to an article about roaches and Palin’s movie.

‘Tis Strange’s “you’re a fucking cockroach” link in the post itself. Judging by the turnout in OC, the poor mites’ll starve.

The movie’s existence is tolerable just because it inspired this post.

I second that.

“Denver” is one of the cities it’s opening in although it’s really one theater in Highlands Ranch, a very red suburb to the south.  The critics review in the paper today was an unenthusiastic 1-1/2 stars, probably about a star more than it deserved.  No word on the actual turnout though.

They did make something of a strategic mistake by opening the same day as the last Harry Potter movie which is sucking pretty much all the oxygen out of the movie going world.  But strategic errors seem to happen a lot with Palin and her “advisers”.  ;-)

All it took was a glance at the interminably long cockroach story to realize it couldn’t hold my attention if my ears were staple-gunned to the monitor.

So it’s probably my own fault that my takeaway was that Sarah Palin has provoked a terrible cockroach infestation in theaters across the country?

Shortly before the end of the film, a young couple entered, walked to the back row, started making out, then interrupted their session and left (spoiler alert) as Andrew Breitbart, who made one of several guest appearances, started talking about eunuchs.

Laughing.
Crying.
Gasping.
Dying.

I forgot it was “Undefeated” day. Looks like movie-goers did too…

There was that liberal plot to release the last Harry Potter movie just ahead of it so that the evil witch magic from that would make everyone forget.

Obliviate!

Oops, I see marindenver pointed out the liberal plot before I did. Pardon.

I wonder if The Undefeated: Night of a Thousand Winks stops mid-way through the 1st reel.

Jeez, once you’ve lost Orange County…

Buh bye, Sarah.

Ripley’s comment inspires a question - is there any winking in the film?
I’m, uh, asking for a friend.

If you have it in you, do read the cockroach woman’s post.  The “brave” “defiant” tone.  The (what Ayn Rand called ) “absolute certainty.”  It’s like watching a bowling pin stand itself up and declare to all the world, “Now, at last, I shall make my stand, and I shall not succumb.”

It’s like watching a bowling pin stand itself up and declare to all the world, “Now, at last, I shall make my stand, and I shall not succumb.”

I think we can all go home now. Snark has reached its apotheosis.

They did make something of a strategic mistake by opening the same day as the last Harry Potter movie which is sucking pretty much all the oxygen out of the movie going world. 

I assumed they did it so they could show huge crowds queuing outside the theaters in which it was to play.

And really, can you tell the difference between John McCain and a dementor?

Sarah Palin Movie Debuts to Empty Theater in Orange County.

Ford Maddox Ford, pick up the white courtesy phone.

They crave the darkness again. The problem for them, however, is that darkness doesn’t really exist. What we call darkness is simply the absence of light, but once light comes, we see more clearly, we understand better, and we act accordingly. Light has come. The Undefeated is light. Governor Palin’s 2012 announcement will be light. The roaches don’t like it, and they’re already scurrying manically, but it’s too late. Their fate has been sealed.

Is she asking me to get a motel room? Because that mishmash of words makes about as much sense as a Palin thesis in the debt ceiling.

But there is light. And darkness, there is darkness too. But then there is light and the darkness isn’t so dark and it’s lighter. Because of light.

Davis, you’ve inspired a new tagline for The Undefeated:

Hold My Beer and Watch This Movie.

The Undefeated is light.

This is true enough, since the digital copy weighs almost nothing.

This is true enough, since the digital copy weighs almost nothing.

Almost nothing, because the ones weigh more than the zeroes.

I did so stay awake in class.

How long before the Free Market (blessed be!) provides bootleg copies on the corners of Times Square? Should we buy a copy? Or report the vendors to the authorities?

Isn’t Sarah’s message more important than corporate profits? Will the MPAA do the right thing and graciously, and gracefully, allow Sarahs’s history to be viewed in all its grainy, shaky glory on every flatscreen throughout the land?

Perhaps the untranslated version of the cockroach post makes more sense:

Sie sehnen sich die Dunkelheit wieder. Das Problem für sie ist jedoch, dass Dunkelheit nicht wirklich existiert. Was wir Dunkelheit ist einfach die Abwesenheit von Licht, aber sobald Licht kommt, sehen wir klarer nennen, verstehen wir besser, und wir handeln entsprechend. Licht gekommen ist. Die Unbesiegten ist das Licht. Gouverneur Palin Jahres 2012 Ankündigung wird leicht sein. Die Kakerlaken mögen es nicht, und sie sind schon huschen manisch, aber es ist zu spät. Ihr Schicksal wurde besiegelt.

Ich haben not enough German to tell.

The Undefeated is light. Governor Palin’s 2012 announcement will be light.

As are her dupes’ followers’ pockets.

If her pronouncements get any lighter, they’ll have to install a mooring mast for her on top of her Trackical Mystery Tourbus.

From BJ comments:

They showed it at The Block? Yeah, I’m sure all the 17 year-olds were eager to rush out of the Vans Skate Park to go pay $11.50 to see grandma talk about herself for 100 minutes.

That cockroach entry makes about as much sense as the “DeSelby” theories on light and darkness in the footnotes of Flann O’Brien’s The Third Policeman—with the obvious difference being that O’Brien was aiming for faux-profound stupidity.

But they only lasted 20 minutes before walking out,

Shortly before the end of the film, a young couple entered, walked to the back row, started making out, then interrupted their session and left

So the audience quit half-way through?

So the audience quit half-way through?

Ha!

But seriously any movie that could make some young smoocher - who isn’t even paying attention to the show - lose his hardon must be quite a stinker.

i tried to read that cockroach post three times before i decided to just go ahead and pluck mine own eyes out.

that was the very definition of “tortured analogy.”

But there is light. And darkness, there is darkness too. But then there is light and the darkness isn’t so dark and it’s lighter. Because of light.

you’ve got it all wrong.  darkness is an illusion.  it doesn’t really exist.  i mean, it kinda sorta exists, like in your mind, but it’s never really there.  it’s in your mind.  and it is populated by mind-roaches.  also, we are all just waiting for the One True Light to shine down from heaven and make sweet love to darkness down by the fire.  Light has jungle fever.

no wait. do over.

palin is from alaska, you see, and it’s light, like, all the time.  so she is some sort of lightforce that will forever cast darkness into the light where the roaches live.


come on, this is elementary suff!

Sarah is light.

America is light.

Truth and Decency are light.

But fluorescent squiggly bulbs, eh, not so much. They are kind of an Evil Light, even though Evil Light also annoys cockroaches.

But let’s not go there — because as soon as you start talking about Evil Light, the whole thing gets more complicated than an explanation of Green Lantern’s ring color, or why God lets little children and puppies die.

Love, Hate. Good, Bad. Life, Death. God, Satan. I mean, fuck, it just never ends. Ever. Duality, dude—that’s the fucking problem here. So leave the goddamn light off and you won’t even know the cockroaches are there. Case closed. End of story.

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