Holy Christ. I thought that was a parody, but it’s for real.

(I’m referring to “sweat is my sanity.”)

I’m referring to “sweat is my sanity.”

How did I miss that? I can’t believe I didn’t catch it in the Couric interviews, at the very least.

Sweat Is My Sanity: The Autobiography of Sarah Palin.

Not hard to understand why she gave Rich Lowry starbursts in his pants!

Wonderful women of Rumproast, tell me if I’m being a sexist pig about those pictures. I just think a few of them are way too cheesecakey for someone (M or F) with presidential aspirations. Yes or no?

Runnin’ with the devil…

Oh look, another picture with Trig! Let the Photoshopping begin!

Dear God, those photos. Emergency rooms across America will be packed with flabby little fRighties who’ve yanked it right off.

I just think a few of them are way too cheesecakey for someone (M or F) with presidential aspirations. Yes or no?

Well, if someone can come up with some pics of Barack posing in his basketball duds and smiling coyly into the camera I’ll say “no”.  Otherwise I gotta go with “yes.”  I mean remember how people freaked out because he got photographed in his bathing suit on the beach without a shirt?  Definitely a double standard going here.

She desperately needs a team of advisers following her around 24/7 if she’s really considering a run in 2012.

OK, I see what you did there…

MORE: Oh dear god, it just got worse. She desperately needs a team of advisers following her around 24/7 if she’s really considering a run in 2012.

What?  Doesn’t everyone have a flag draped over a chair at their house?  Are you some sort of commie pinko?

wtf is in her hand?

OK, I see what you did there…

Thank god you saw it because I didn’t.

wtf is in her hand?

I was trying to figure that out myself.  I haven’t the foggiest.

wtf is in her hand?

Looks like one of them there crackberries. 2 crackberries??

Yeah, WTF is that?

I just spent valuable time looking at frozen cheesecake, and have determined, from this thoroughly creepy quote:

It cracks me up going to some running event and seeing some dude who campaigned so hard against me, or a lady who’s been blogging some mean comments about me.

that she’s holding stun-guns.

I know an lady blogger in yellow boots who might want to skip the next marathon.

Suggested caption:

“This month’s saucy speedstress is a mother, a Governor and a former candidate for Vice President of the United States. She’s a favorite target of political paparazzi, but they’d better pack their Pumas if they hope to keep up when this tightly-togged All-American “Energizer bunny” of the wilderness trails kicks her competitive ambitions—and high-stepping, chorus-line gams—hubba!—into high gear. With Van Halen pumping through her ever-present iPod, she’s sweatin’ to the oldies…while all us “oldies” can do is try to stay dry as we admire these perky, provocative pics. I know this patriotic pixie has my vote, because I’m already pulling the lever. Run, Sarah, Run!”

wtf is in her hand?

She has Amy Grant in a box.

WTF is that

Star Trek communicator. Comes with the flight attendant top.

I think John Edwards was featured in some running magazine or another, but I don’t recall particularly coy shots. Then again, Edwards always struck me as a little bit coy, so I’m not the best judge.

Oh look, another picture with Trig! Let the Photoshopping begin!

You know what? I just went and looked at that picture.  It’s funny as hell!  I’ll stop making fun of her toting that kid around like some sort of political shield against mockery the minute she stops pimping him out.  I mean, crap…she has another, what?  4 of ‘em?  But she only pimps this one out in pictures. Probably because now or years from now, he still won’t even realize he’s being used by her for political purposes.

I’m not sure we’d like to contemplate what Edwards’ sanity is.

At least we know Sarah’s is a waste product.

“saucy speedstress”???  OMG.

And she loves it when her thighs throb. Oh dear god, Rich Lowry will never get himself unglued from the naugahyde now!

...are way too cheesecakey for someone (M or F) with presidential aspirations. Yes or no?

Yes!

And this one is just too “lovesick puppy” for presidential aspirations:
“This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story,” Sanford said. “A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day.”

They both make me want to gag.

Sweat is my sanity.

Which explains why she likes to expel as much of it as possible… Just one more mile, Sarah!  You’ve still got some sanity left in you!

Oh, and she uses the American flag to wipe her “sanity” off the exercise gear.

Oh come on now.

This ISN’T a National Lampoon edition of Runner’s World?

And that’s NOT Tina Fey?

I just think a few of them are way too cheesecakey for someone (M or F) with presidential aspirations. Yes or no?

That was my original reaction. Knee-jerk feminist that I am, I examined my initial guffaw and wondered if my reaction was unwittingly shaped by The Patriarchy. I asked myself if I would object to a photo of Obama scantily clad and with a “come-hither” smile.

And the answer is, while I might appreciate it aesthetically, the bottom line is, we’re pack animals. And the leader (or aspiring leader) of the pack needs to maintain some dignity and decorum. Plus, what Allan said: “And that’s NOT Tina Fey?”

And this one is just too “lovesick puppy” for presidential aspirations:

“This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story,” Sanford said. “A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day.”

They both make me want to gag.

I’d hit it.

Pantyhose with jogging shoes? Ew.

Shove a fucking apple pie and a baseball diamond up my ass if those loins don’t scream credibility on the global political stage. REALLY?

Pantyhose? I don’t think so.  In-home tanning bed? Definitely.

I don’t know but aren’t there rules about what you can and cannot do with an American flag?

Well, yes, Virginia, there are!

One of those rules is:

When the flag is lowered, no part of it should touch the ground or any other object; it should be received by waiting hands and arms. To store the flag it should be folded neatly and ceremoniously.

I dunno, that kind of seems like the least weird and most humanizing thing I’ve heard about her.  She likes to run?  Better not let that woman near office. 

Stick to the things that are truly frightening about the woman.

Ryan, I don’t believe this thread has anything to do with Sarah’s enjoyment of running. In fact, I’m absolutely certain it doesn’t. Not sure where you’re getting that from.

There’s an interesting discussion about the VF piece on Palin at Ta-Nahesi Coates’ blog that touches on some of these same topics. This comment by Sarcastro gets to the nub of what bothers me about Governor Palin and the wingers’ (and others’) need to “protect” her:

  Sarcastro June 30, 2009 11:04 PM

This is all about the right’s notion of female goodness. Palin is a mother many times over, married to a Real Man and is an unabashed conservative. This is what Real Woman do.

Also, she’s pretty. This is a big deal to the right in at least two different areas.

It’s a constant trope on the right that conservative woman are the pretty ones and that the liberal ones are all ugly.

Additionally, the words of pretty women seem to carry extra weight on the right. Or at least the right is extra eager to fly to the defense of an attractive damsel.

Seriously. Children are the ones that assume good equals pretty. And the fantasy of coming to thee rescue of a pretty lady beset on all sides is just as childlike.

But that is where we are with the rump party that once was the Republicans.

It’s not just Republicans, of course. So-called guardians of feminism are crawling out of the woodwork to beat back any criticism of Palin.

I called George W. Bush an idiot for 8 years because he was an idiot. But apply that same term to Palin, and you’re a sexist pig or a tool of the patriarchy. It’s bullshit. Worse, it’s infantilizing and counterproductive.

Thanks for pulling that over Betty. Palin is the My Female GOP Friend(TM) who helps complete the set of GOP friends who aren’t male, Caucasian and Christian*. By forming ranks around her it makes up for the crap they fling at the rest of you.

See also My Black GOP Friend Michael Steele(TM) and My Hispanic GOP Friend Alberto Gonzales(TM).

These are all people who’ve met the GOP’s strict quality standards for purity, which means they’re a)Insane and/or b)Intolerable assholes. Other people who share characterists with the MGF but don’t pass the purity test can safely be treated as dangerous and unnatural.

*My Gay GOP Friends(TM) also exist, provided they stay deep in the closet. If something happens to bring a MGGF(TM) tumbling out of said closet on a wave of mothballs, some of the bolder GOPers will squeak “Homophobe!” at those who point and laugh. And then they’ll quickly scuttle away.

Thanks for the tip on the VF discussion, Betty. I’ll check it out. It makes me think about the longstanding problem of how antebellum (and after) southern whites could view themselves as the defenders of pure womanhood, chivalry, and gentility—while engaging in some of the most heinous and brutal acts against women of color.

Or kinda like putting up unflattering pictures of Michelle Obama next to Cindy McCain. (Was that Flowbee? And where, oh where, is that “whitey tape,” any way?)

@StrangeAppar8us

Well, let’s see.  We’ve got a link to a Runner’s World article about Palin, we’ve got a headline quote from Palin about running, and we have three featured quotes from Palin about her enjoyment of running. 

You’re right, I have no idea where I would have gotten that idea.

Ryan, no one holds Palin’s enjoyment of running against her, FFS. It’s her dingbat banter we’re making fun of, and that would be true if she were talking about knitting, bamboo farming or snail collecting. No one is discriminating against runners or saying that running is a bad thing. (Though personally, I only find it worthwhile if the ice cream truck is getting away…)

@Ryan—Yes, but there’s nothing, actually, about “running” here, and nothing about Palin’s magazine interview and photo spread that could possibly be construed as “un-weird” or “human.”

I hear what you’re saying, but “running” as a healthy normal activity is altogether incidental to her fixation on inane “sweat” metaphors, her sideways slams of McCain and the utter surreality of her dopey, flag-abusing, “Hi-I’m-Sarah-fly-me” pin-up photos.

The whole point of the exercise is that she seems even more clueless, bitter, artificial and unaware of the political optics when she tries to appear normal and healthy.

Running is no more the issue here than turkeys were the issue in her famous Thanksgiving interview in front of the Live Gobbler Dispose-All.

Then again, I may be missing the part where the magazine profile doesn’t make her look like a female Borat.