Scene from a restaurant which counts Jim Wallis among its regular customers

...taking it slow, but it’s going really well. He just got out of a pretty serious relationsh… oh no. No no no no no.

They’re seating the Jesus guy in my section, what’s-his-name, Mr. Wallis. He’ll totally camp me.

Listen, could you take him? Guaranteed 30% tip, I’ll make up the difference.

But you’re closing anyway! Fine, 50%.

Come ON, Greg, I’ll do your sidework for a week. Please.

You’re an asshole, y’know that? Oh yeah, ha ha, it’s so hilarious that my Friday night’s ruined now.

Prick.

Evening, Mr. Wallis, good to see you again. Care to hear about the specials?

In the aftermath of the 2004 presidential election, the Democrats were roundly accused of losing the “moral values voters” in America, and of being the party of “secularists” who were hostile to faith and religion.

Hmm. Yeah, I remember that. So tonight we’ve got an osso buco that is just…

The very first Democrat to call me and ask to talk about that accusation and how to change the moral debate in America was Ted Kennedy.

Oh wow, I didn’t know you knew him. My condolences.

He invited me to his home, where he and his wife, Vicki, engaged me in a long and very thoughtful conversation into the night about the relationship between faith, morality, and politics. Their own deep Catholic faith was evident and their articulation of it very impressive.

Yep, he was the “Lion of the Senate,” all right.

Our discussion was not partisan at all—it was not about how to win religion back for the Democrats.

Oh, I didn’t mean to imply…

Rather, we focused on the great moral issues facing the nation, and how we as people of faith needed to respond to them.

Listen, why don’t I get out of your hair, let you check out the menu. You usually drink club soda, right? I’ll just go get…

On the occasion of his death, I pray that God may now move us as a nation to address the greatest commitment of Sen. Kennedy’s life—the need for a comprehensive reform of the health-care system in America—as a deeply moral issue and one that calls forth the very best that is within us. May we honor the life and death of Sen. Edward Kennedy by laying aside the rancor, lies, fear, and even hate that has come to dominate the health-care debate in America this summer, and regain our moral compass by recovering the moral core of this debate: that too many Americans are hurting and suffering in a broken and highly inequitable health-care system, and that it is our moral obligation to repair and reform it—now.

Great! Be right back.

Gimme a club soda, but put the lime in a little dish on the side, I forget how he takes it. When he sends stuff back he makes you sit through the parable of Lazarus.

Oh, and tell Greg WHO I AM NOT TALKING TO that if he thinks I will ever pick up one of his shifts again, he can go fuck himself.

Heeeere y’go, Mr. Wallis. So how we doin’?

Good health is the will of God for each and every one of his children. Death, disease, and pain did not exist in the Garden, and Revelation tells of a “new heaven and new earth,” where once again they will not exist. We live in a fallen world where injury and sickness are a fact of life.

Well, that’s uh… allow me to rephrase! What I meant was, are you ready to order?

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