Secret Plot by Gingrich and Santorum Almost Derailed Romney’s Candidacy?

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Really this is one of those stories where you don’t know whether to laugh or cry ROTFLMAO.

According to Joshua Green at Bloomberg BusinessWeek, heading into the Michigan primary, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum, who at that point still had some sort of chance in the race, hatched a plot to combine forces and run Romney off the road:

As Mitt Romney struggled in the weeks leading up to the Michigan primary, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum nearly agreed to form a joint “Unity Ticket” to consolidate conservative support and topple Romney. “We were close,” former Representative Bob Walker, a Gingrich ally, says. “Everybody thought there was an opportunity.” “It would have sent shock waves through the establishment and the Romney campaign,” says John Brabender, Santorum’s chief strategist.

“Oh noes” we are supposed to say in retrospect!  Such a stupendous charismatic pair as Serial Adulterer Newt and Colossal Dick* Santorum could totally have upset OBamz apple cart and WHERE WOULD WE ALL BE TODAY!! 

Well, we know it didn’t happen and Romney pulled out a squeaker win in Michigan.  The coalition collapsed and, as much as anything, from the stupendous weight of their own egos.

But the negotiations collapsed in acrimony because Gingrich and Santorum could not agree on who would get to be president. “In the end,” Gingrich says, “it was just too hard to negotiate.”

And the rest of us were denied the spectacle of a truly great clown show of a campaign, surpassing even that of Grandpa Grumps and Klondike Barbie.  If only.

*Thanks to Charlie Pierce for the oh-so-apt moniker.

Posted by marindenver on 03/22/13 at 01:12 PM • Permalink

Categories: I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What I LikePoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08St. McSameElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

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But the negotiations collapsed in acrimony because Gingrich and Santorum could not agree on who would get to be president.

But they’d have been capable of collaborating to run America!

I feel desperately cheated. Hard as Mitt and Ann and Paul tried to entertain us, it would have been a real hoot.

Ah, if only.  The U.S. economy would have recovered quickly based simply on the massive increase in popcorn sales as we all lined up to watch that shitshow.  Too bad, really.

Wow. Compared with these two, Romney’s likability factor would be up there with baby kittens.

“Colossal Dick”—and how! Here’s Santorum on an untethered space walk at a Lincoln Day celebration in 2012.

But don’t lose hope. Just because Santorum is entering his sunset years doesn’t mean that America’s vast reserves of conservative flummery are about to go dry. Sitting beside Santorum is sketchy Ohio GOP party boss Big Al Arshinkoff who ran against me 40 years ago for the governorship of Buckeye Boys State, a Summertime Potemkin government sponsored by the American Legion. Needless to say, I creamed him—although, watching this video, I am no longer as proud of that upset victory as I once was.

Just because Santorum is entering his sunset years doesn’t mean that America’s vast reserves of conservative flummery are about to go dry.

Sadly, no!  to paraphrase that brilliant blog.  But as long as Santorum and his like are running around like the denizens of unhinged ant hills we WILL be here to snark back!!

Also too - nice to see you back in the trenches Cap’n!

Perhaps the unfortunate connotations of Santorum’s name were to blame, and against all the odds Gingrich didn’t want to be top of the ticket, to avoid an awkward juxtaposition like the London and Home Counties realtor Gascoigne-Pees.

Hi Strange! Looks like there’s been a lot of space cadets among the BBS alumni.

Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum, who at that point still had some sort of chance in the race, hatched a plot to combine forces and run Romney off the road

They could have combined to form Doltron.

I wish they had been successful, it would have been highly entertaining to see them stick a pin into the Mittmentum & deflate his campaign somewhat. Hilarity would have ensued as Rick “Latin for Asshole” Santorum, & Newt “The Ego” Gingrich joined forces for a teabagger/evangelical twofer ticket then became a colossal thorn in R-Money’s/Granny Starver’s campaign. The entertainment values would have been enormous, HBO would have made a movie about it. Any guesses as to what the title might have been?

ROTFLMFAO, or FROTFFLMFAFO?

(It would be irresponsible not to speculate!)

So, when does the BJ sleepover kick off?

So, when does the BJ sleepover kick off?

By popular request, see up there ^

We have animal pix in the Critters archive.

Have at it!

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