SEPARATED AT UNDEATH?

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Michael Gerson

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Max from The Lost Boys

Eerie, right? A simple rule of thumb for telling them apart: one is a soulless bloodsucker whose nebbishy exterior belies his mission to spread evil, pestilence, and death; the other one’s Michael Gerson, and he’s also pretty terrible.

Here’s the newest volley from Radio RWaPo (“It’s not hate speech when white men wearing neckties say it”), and just in time! No use fomenting resentment and distrust among the populace after the election.

Serving the poor and healing the sick are regarded as secular pursuits — a determination that would have surprised Christianity’s founder.

See, this is why Gerson’s on the op-ed page and the rest of you schmucks are slaving away in the “On Faith” section. A lesser propagandist would’ve claimed explicitly that Jesus invented altruism and that non-Christians can be charitable only in the sense that dogs can stand on their hind legs, but Gerson knows how to imply it.

Hmm. Blockquoting isn’t terribly satisfying for some reason, maybe because it ignores Gerson’s long history in Washington power circles, and that context seems relevant. I’ve got a better idea, lemme try something:

“Both radicalism and maliciousness are at work in Obama’s decision — an edict delivered with a sneer,” wrote the former chief speechwriter for George W. Bush.

“Modern liberalism uses the power of the state to impose liberal values on institutions it regards as backward,” said one of the founding members of the White House Iraq Group.

“Modern liberalism has progressed to the point of adopting the attitudes and methods of 19th-century Republican nativists” is an actual quote from the guy who used to be Charles Colson’s ghostwriter.

In reference to Vice President Joe Biden’s Catholicism, the man who took credit for coining “Axis of Evil” even though David Frum did most of the work says “Betrayal is always an inside job.”

They don’t pay you the big bucks for outright comparing civil servants to Judas, ya gotta insinuate. Back to blockquoting:

The administration’s ultimate motivation is uncertain. Has it adopted a radical secularism out of conviction, or is it cynically appealing to radical secularists? In either case, the war on religion is now formally declared.

Okay, first off, if you’re gonna paraphrase Yoda, you damn well better paraphrase Yoda from Empire Strikes Back, maybe Jedi, and second, if you couldn’t whip your fellow theocrats into a stone-the-unbelievers frenzy back when you had a willing mouthpiece and all three branches of government at your disposal, I’m thinking you oughta cool it with the holy war talk.

That’s actually pretty ham-handed for a pro like Gerson, I’m surprised he’s so overt in his contempt for the way the Constitution supersedes the Bible, at least in a handful of states. Luckily, just yesterday his colleague E.J. Redenbacher Dionne went above and beyond the WaPomerta expected of him and provided Gerson cover.

Hey E.J., just on the off-chance you’re reading this in between visits to NPR on which you regularly appear as one-half of the Brooks & Dionne Dickishness & Dicklessness Revue, good job throwing your lot in with these swine. They think “freedom of religion” means that non-Christians are allowed—thanks to the majority’s merciful beneficence—to opt out, not that we’re all equal under the law, and now they can point to arguably the highest-profile liberal in the national media as backup.

One thing I’ll say for Gerson, though—at least he can get his fucking point across. I had to read your bowl of Alpha Bits of a column twice just to make sure I disagreed with it.

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Don’t fight, radical secularists. It’s so much better if you don’t fight.

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/31/12 at 04:41 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBushCoEditorialsElection '12Our Stupid MediaWar In ErrorRelijun

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One thing about listening to Republicans I never could stomach, was all the damn vampires.

someone should send Gerson to China as a missionary and let him find out what religious persecution really feels like.

I see a theme for CPAC next week.

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