“She is that Lighthouse and Oasis like a feast for those in famine.” [UPDATED]

Take one guess who this refers to (answer below the fold):

She is that Oasis in a nation thirsty for fiscal restraint, less government intervention, greater energy independence, strong national security, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. She is that Oasis in a baren desert of endless government programs that cost billions of money our descendants can’t afford and still can’t provide one drop to quench the thirst. She is that Oasis in a desert of millions of Americans who thirst for Washington DC to listen to their voices. She is that Oasis in a desert of snakes disguised as those who ought to protect us and serve us but instead use their venom and stinging bite to do their selfish bidding instead of the people who thirst for those who will protect and serve with a servant’s heart. She is that Oasis in a desert of flies who fly in our faces like red herrings doing their best to distract us from that Oasis rich with flowing waters to quench our thirst. She is that Oasis in a nation being teased and fooled by the mirage that usual suspects have given this nation for far too long. Back then and today… she is that Lighthouse and Oasis! She is that Lighthouse and Oasis like a feast for those in famine.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Our long, grueling quest may be over. I’m pretty sure that Pro-Sarah.com’s “Sarah Palin: The Lighthouse, Oasis, & Feast” may be the worst post in the history of the blogosphere [LINK REMOVED DUE TO AUTO-BANNING—SEE BELOW]. It is time to rest.

UPDATE: Pro-Sarah.com is now blocking clickthroughs from Rumproast (amazingly enough, a first for this blog) and, it appears, they’re also auto-banning IP addresses that clickthrough from here.  You can try this URL or just read the whole glorious mess below…

Sarah Palin: The Lighthouse, Oasis, & Feast. Before Her Vice Presidential Acceptance Speech.

Posted by April-Liesel Binapri on Sep 3rd, 2009

Wednesday September 3, 2008 was a night that I will never forget. I remember being nervous and anxious before former Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska was to accept the Republican Vice Presidential nomination. I remember I woke up that morning and it was still dark in Southern California. I remember switching on the television and I tuned into the usual suspects… the cable news networks. Back then people… those “intellectual elites” you know those people the ones who we all should listen to. Oh so they think we ought to. I remember some were saying that Sarah Palin should do the Republican Party a “favor” by stepping down from the nomination. I remember all of the lies that were said about her and her family. And it’s partially because of those lies I grew to admire Sarah Palin more.

How so? You may be asking. Well, because I know what it’s like to be told lies and have lies told about you. Coming from a background where my Biological Father taught me to hate myself and abused me for my first 21 years of my life… I instantly connected with Sarah Palin. Because that morning all the pundits were saying she’s over. Her career is over. She’s got too much baggage. They also talked about a lie that I will not discuss because it’s not worth it. I wanted so much and so badly for Sarah Palin to knock her speech out of the Universe… forget the ballpark. I wanted her to so much to set a blaze to that building that had never been seen before. I wanted her so much to expose Barack Obama and the mainstream media for what they were. I wanted her to shove the truth in those elitists face. 

So I remember well how I felt before the Sun came up in Los Angeles. Then in the morning on the cable news networks as it was still dark in Los Angeles. A bright lighthouse of true hope and change made an appearance on the Republican National Convention’s stage. Sarah Palin is that lighthouse of true hope and change to guide this Nation through the dark and stormy waters of multi-trillion dollar debts and deficits. Today! Sarah Palin is that lighthouse of true hope and change to guide this Nation through the thick fog and mist of Government take overs of the private sector. Today! Sarah Palin is that lighthouse of true hope and change to guide this Nation back to that Shining City on a Hill! Today!

And back then had those who voted for Obama listened to her prophetic words and heeded her warning instead of took them for granted their Grandchildren’s Grandchildren wouldn’t have to pay for a multi-trillion dollar debt that even Obama said, “was unsustainable debt.” Today what she says… manifests and still the elites and know it alls in the media and permanent Washington establishment dismiss her. If you refuse to see the lighthouse and go towards it you will forever be stuck in shaky, shifting, and dangerous waters. If pride is the reason you refuse to go towards a lighthouse which is the beacon of hope, which is the beacon of safety, which is a beacon to that Shining City on a Hill… then in those dark, stormy and dangerous waters you will drown.

A year ago in the dark pre-dawn of Los Angeles County came onto a Minnesota stage a lighthouse that still shines bright. This lighthouse and beacon of The People, by The People, and for The People still shines brighter than all of the Stars in the North Sky combined. This lighthouse and beacon of The People, by The People, and for The People still shines brighter than the Sun. This lighthouse and beacon of The People, by The People, and for The People is like an Oasis of pure water in a desert. 

She is that Oasis in a nation thirsty for fiscal restraint, less government intervention, greater energy independence, strong national security, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. She is that Oasis in a baren desert of endless government programs that cost billions of money our descendants can’t afford and still can’t provide one drop to quench the thirst. She is that Oasis in a desert of millions of Americans who thirst for Washington DC to listen to their voices. She is that Oasis in a desert of snakes disguised as those who ought to protect us and serve us but instead use their venom and stinging bite to do their selfish bidding instead of the people who thirst for those who will protect and serve with a servant’s heart. She is that Oasis in a desert of flies who fly in our faces like red herrings doing their best to distract us from that Oasis rich with flowing waters to quench our thirst. She is that Oasis in a nation being teased and fooled by the mirage that usual suspects have given this nation for far too long. Back then and today… she is that Lighthouse and Oasis! She is that Lighthouse and Oasis like a feast for those in famine.

A year ago and even today… Sarah Palin is that feast for a nation in a famine of high unemployment. She is that feast for a nation’s stomach that growls angerly because of Democrats and Republicans toying us with rotten moldy rhetoric that can’t even offer a single bread crumb. She is that feast for a nation’s stomach that growls angerly at political theater that is like a mirage that offers promise but has zero results. She is that feast for a nation’s stomach that growls and is in pain because of suffocating taxes that offer no results. She is that feast for a nation’s stomach that growls angerly because it trusted those who lead them to a dead end. She is that feast for a nation’s stomach that growls louder than the treacherous, dark, ominous, stormy, thunderous, shaking and shifting seas of the Permanent Washington Establishment of Democrats and Republicans. Sarah Palin is that Feast, Oasis, and Lighthouse in a nation of People who hunger and thirst for Their American Dreams to come true.

A year ago… before the Sun rose in Los Angeles… the place of Hollywood Dreams… An American Dream named Sarah Palin stepped on a stage getting use to the stage and set up as the usual suspects on cable and network news were talking about her doom. A year ago… my heart was pounding and my breath steady and deep… saw on that stage the Feast of a nation’s stomach that growls like an angry Momma Grizzly protecting her cubs. As I took a sip of my bottled water I saw on that stage the Oasis of a nation still thirsty for energy independence, stonger national security, less government intervention, and much needed fiscal restraint. A year ago… I saw on that stage a lighthouse that will lead our nation out of the thick fog that are power hungry politicians, elites, and ruling class who give us nothing but ominous, shifting, and stormy lightning filled seas.

Posted by Kevin K. on 09/04/09 at 09:40 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsNuttersPoliblogsSkull Hampers

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Wow.  I have no words.

She is an Oasis for those who were mercilessly teased in high school about their unfortunately-located mole, who were stood up for the Prom, whose fathers never gave them a hug or bought them a pony for their 10th birthday!

She is a Lighthouse for those who refuse to take their Lithium, like their evil doctors and back-stabbing family members tell them too!

Thank you for words, Tom.

Oh dear god, is that for real? I thought this was the most psycho passage, though lord knows any random sentence is nuttier than a squirrel turd:

A year ago… before the Sun rose in Los Angeles… the place of Hollywood Dreams… An American Dream named Sarah Palin stepped on a stage getting use to the stage and set up as the usual suspects on cable and network news were talking about her doom. A year ago… my heart was pounding and my breath steady and deep… saw on that stage the Feast of a nation’s stomach that growls like an angry Momma Grizzly protecting her cubs.

Sweet weepin’ Jeebus on a unicycle…

too=to

Yeesh, I should really lay off the cough syrup.

I’m starting to think the internet was a bad idea.

I’m starting to think the internet was a bad idea.
Comment by terry on 09/04/09 at 11:36 AM

I’m tending to agree…

What’s that lighthouse doing in the middle of the desert?

What’s that lighthouse doing in the middle of the desert?

Warning ships sailing in the oasis about the famine.

Next they’ll be saying we liberals shouldn’t be able to look back in anger at dear Sarah.

And like the members of Oasis, she is always getting into petty fights and quitting her job.

All I know is that Feast, Oasis and Lighthouse would be quite possibly the most ill-conceived concert tour package in the history of small-venue beer-and-ribs music fests.

Apparently, Sarahnoids are the new Tamarians

Malcolm Rogers
Our precious country started out as a mighty roaring river filled with the spirit of freedom and independence but slowly tributaries have been built that is slowing this mighty river down and soon if some of these tributaries are not damned up our mi…ghty river will be a trickle and pretty soon crusted sod baking in the son. Lets start releasing these tributaries get rid of the dam of excessive taxation, get rid of the dam of excessive regulation, and get rid of the dam of partisan politics.

I always thought Sarah herself resembled the Crystalline Entity:

The Crystalline Entity was a powerful, spaceborne creature characterized by a crystalline structure that resembled a large snowflake. It had warp speed travel capability, formidable size, and the ability to consume all life on a planet or starship. (TNG: “Datalore”)

The Entity functioned as a giant electromagnetic collector and needed constant power, converting organic matter into energy. Once the Entity ravaged a planet, its natural resources were completely stripped. No further life would be able to grow for many years.

OK, if we’re going full-geek, I think Palin is the Salt Vampire

“....she is the wind beneath my jeans”

You know, it’s a lot like Sarah Palin herself, what with the jumbled rhetoric and the extended metaphor that starts to ramble and get off topic….

What is the sound of one hand fapping?

She is that Oasis in a desert of flies who fly in our faces like red herrings doing their best to distract us from that Oasis rich with flowing waters to quench our thirst.

WHOOP WHOOP METAPHOR OVERLOAD.

M-O-O-N spells Palin.

That school girl infatuation thing is so heavy that it’s really almost embarrassing to read.  The garbled metaphors are so entertaining they keep you going, though.  And I love that she threw in the “sip of my bottled water” in the last paragraph.

Oh cool, we’ve been banned. Must have been that pony thing.

Weird… I clicked over a couple of hours ago for a quick look then just now clicked over again to maybe add a snarky comment, stealing Allan’s “lighthouse in the desert” bon mot (are there even comments there? don’t remember), and enjoy the purple prose in all its glory. I got this just now:

[IP address removed-ed.]
From c-[IP address removed-ed.].hsd1.or.comcast.net
Attemts Tried: 1
You Are Banned. You may be subject to a permanent ban.
If you believe this ban to be an error please email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
We THANK YOU for your interest in the Pro-Sarah Palin movement!

Anybody else get this? Is she on to Rumproast’s ridicule?

Side note… in addition to the mangled prose, the Palinites have this goofy tendency to misspell common words and randomly capitalize words. Is there a Palinite style manual we should be aware of?

They actually misspelled their block message (“Attemts Tried: 1”).

How much fail is that?

Also, you have to be pretty determined to be intellectually sheltered to block relatively mild-mannered snark like that from Rumproast.

notjenna, yeah, I got the same message.  It looks like they put a script in place so that your IP is address is banned immediately if you clickthrough from Rumproast.  That’s pretty harsh.  Charles Johnson from LGF does redirects from traffic from sites like Sadly, No!, but I don’t recall ever seeing anyone autoban an IP because of a clickthrough from a particular site.  That’s, like, fascistic! My American Dream has a growling stomach now.

Click-throughs are banned, eh?

Sarah Palin may be an oasis of fiscal restraint, but her fan-fiction/cult-worship site has shown that it is nothing more than A TAR-PIT OF FREE SPEECH.

Thank God that—here at Rumproast—the barley and hops of Liberty are still vigorously fermented with the starter-cakes of yeasty, self-rising snark! And while Frank Miller may indeed be arriving on the Noon Train of Destiny (in the form of Russian sub-orbital booster-phase missile dominance and regressive tariffs on Argentine beets), we at Rumproast will strap on our metaphorical six-guns of latte-sipping elitist cynicism and step boldly out into the dusty street of Creeping Facebookism to stare down the Morlocks of Mediocrity and sow tares among the wheat of the snow-covered fields on the path of their Idiotarod to 2012.

could we back up to the barley and hops stuff?

Sorry. You can never have too many bad metaphors.

I really like how She capitalizes Random words, like she’s never heard of Using italics for emphasis Before.

But really, “April-Liesel”?  This has “Willow locked in a dumpster, forced to write nice things about Mommy as punishment” written all over it.

...the barley and hops of Liberty are still vigorously fermented with the starter-cakes of yeasty, self-rising snark!

I may have to steal that for a t-shirt.

Maybe someone so far unsoiled by Rumproast could extend a friendly invitation to April-Weasel Liesel to come over here to talk about it. That’d be fun wouldn’t it?

Truly, Sarah Palin is the cheese in our coffee.

Also, congrats on being banned.

Community colleges are teaching internet webmastering skills now? 

I thought that was still learning the mouse and browser territory.  How did they learn to ban IP addresses, are they evolving? (I blame the Twitterz)

I just clicked on the TinyURL link and I waz banned too.  But the upside is that I got to watch a video of a Palin speech and was told to think about what it would be like if she was in power.  What a shame I even have a Palin4prez@[domain] .com email address for signing up to those sites.

Well, I have to say they have a better webmaster than Joe the Plumber:
http://www.secureourdream.com/

I think its been well over a month since his website went down.  Has nobody noticed, including Joe himself?  How are those book sales going to get premium access?

Comment by Bruno on 09/04/09 at 07:07 PM

In Palin-America, flag humps You!

This seems to be the desert where figurative language goes to be tortured and die. It’s like the Abu Ghraib of flies, flying herrings, Grizzly stomachs growling in anger, moldy rhetoric, lighthouses in the stormy waters of the foggy snake-filled Minnesota government desert. Oasis lighthouses, if you will, for when your ship of the desert is lost at sea.

Welp, that pretty much kills off English for good. I guess I’ll have to switch to Esperanto. Pity, I was making good progress with the English thing.

I’m not a swarthy salty sea dog, but aren’t lighthouses meant to actually warn you AWAY from them? For example warning you of the perilous rocks and reefs of batshit crazy that would run the ship of your sanity aground?
Then again James Carville WAS wearing Pumas that fateful night of flying herrings don’t you know?

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