Shorter Cantor: Because shut up! That’s why.

Eric Cantor (R-Va.), has found the real cause for Birfitis. The Lieberuls! [h/t Wonkette]

Oh, don’t look so shocked. Surely you don’t think he’d blame it on the RealAmerican Bigoted Idiots & Dickheads who infest the GOP. Here’s the entire exchange [via Greg Sargent’s The Plum Line]:

Asked for Cantor’s views on birtherism, his spokesman, Brad Dayspring, emailed me this:

“Mr. Cantor doesn’t question the President’s citizenship, but he has serious questions about the President’s push for government controlled healthcare, taxes on small business job creators, and a huge energy tax on middle class families.

Let’s do what Cantor’s spokestroll should have done and stop right here. This is actually a decent answer. Alas, somewhere between typing the period after “families” and hitting send, the ingrained need to whine and be utterly, laughably wrong about everything took control:

He finds it ironic that those most eager to talk about the President’s citizenship are in fact some of his biggest cheerleaders–whether it’s Chris Matthews or others on MSNBC, the Huffington Post, or camera toting liberal bloggers chasing people through the streets of Washington. [Because cameras don’t take pictures of GOPers visiting Ye Olde Glorie Hole, people do - ed.]

It’s unclear what he’s trying to accomplish here. Surely Cantor’s not suggesting Das Base sullies its beautiful mind with Lieberul media smut filth commie garbage. To the best of my knowledge, antediluvian arsehole Lou “Dewlaps” Dobbs is the first member of the media to “want some answers” about Obama’s citizenship. While Dobbs can rightly be described as a member, he’s not a liberal and the fact that he’s a member of the media only goes to show that standards have slipped.

No matter. We’ll assume Cantor missed Dobb’s outbreak of birfitis and he hasn’t noticed elected members of his party have contracted the illness, and he’s never heard of the nine zillion birfer and quasi-birfer blogs. He’s a Republican after all and they do let information fly right over their heads from time to time. They also aren’t very good at nuance. The comment suggests that the nasty camera-wielding lefties are discussing birfitis because they believe it, when a moment’s thought would suggest that they can’t believe it and are in danger of soiling their pants because they’re laughing so hard. (There’s also a slight whiff of “Obama should have better control of his pet media. They never got out of line while George was in office,” but never mind.)

It could be all of these things and more, but we know from experience that the GOP hates it when anyone points to one of the party’s many nasty hairy warts and says “Damn! Look at that nasty hairy wart!” And because even a Republican can recognize the disease for what it is, we shouldn’t be surprised they don’t want any outsiders commenting on it.

[Note: Sorry to get back to the birfers so soon, I felt sticking this post in was necessary to prevent undue strain on the space time continuum caused by having a post about The Rolling Stones next to a post about the Young Cons.]

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Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/02/09 at 12:14 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNutters

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Just be thankful that you don’t live in Cantor’s district.  Like me.

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