Show me that bile again*

Crappy 80s child actor turned crappy Evangeliban grown-up thespian Kirk Cameron discusses wholesome family films and opines about gay marriage on the Bill-O show:

Bill-O gushes about Cameron’s latest mega-hit with the Christianist set, Fireproof, which took in an astonishing 33% of the take garnered by a movie about talking Chihuahuas and 15% of the weekly haul of a cartoon featuring zoo animals on the lam.

But it seems like the whole conversation was really an excuse to roll the clip of that scary homo riot on Fox News yet again. I bet half of Bill-O’s audience is still cowering behind the sofa. Me, I’m impressed with the restraint of the Castro residents. If that group had camped out on my street after helping orchestrating a vote to strip away my civil rights, the cops wouldn’t have escorted them out; they’d have called in cadaver-sniffing dogs to find their remains.

Can any of the moralizing pricks like Cameron (and they are legion) come up with a reason to oppose gay marriage that doesn’t involve pointing to a line in a religious tome? Nope. The “it has always been thus” defense is unalloyed bullshit too, as marriage was originally invented as a mechanism to transfer women and property (redundant, back in the good old days these goons long for) between men.

But now there’s an anti-Prop 8 backlash, which is like the War on Christmas, only with queers instead of atheists! As usual, wingnuts are falling all over each other to assume the Holy Mantle of Persecution, and here we haven’t even had Thanksgiving yet. Rod Dreher, a prominent Christianist bed-wetter, asks the best question of all about the anti-Prop 8 backlash:

How are defenders of traditional marriage supposed to have reasoned discourse with people who insist that there is nothing to talk about except the terms of our surrender?

You’re not, Rod. You’re supposed to keep on plodding toward the tar pits like a good dinosaur. And don’t think the collusion of the Catholic and Mormon churches will save you from eventual submission to The Gay Agenda.

Does anyone else suspect that smarmy prick Mitt Romney was involved in plotting this somehow? Wasn’t he governor of Massachusetts when child-rapist protection chief Cardinal Law was still running the show? I can see them cooking up this scheme to ingratiate the Mormons with the Evangeliban, who were more disposed to regard Mormons as heretics until they became brothers in gay-oppressing.

What better way to worm one’s way into the fundamentalist mainstream than to pick on a common enemy? The Mormon church hierarchy probably thought, hey, if we demonize fags alongside the Dobsons, Paisleys, Warrens, Perkins, etc., pretty soon, we’ll all be counting the comb marks in President Romney’s hair!

Well, I think they lost that war, even as they won the Prop 8 battle. As a great man once said, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.

*1,000 80s loser points to anyone who caught that reference in the title…

[Cross-posted at Betty Cracker]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/20/08 at 05:39 PM • Permalink

Categories: Politics • Election '08 • Bedwetters • PUMAs • Nutters • Mittens •

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Once again we see the fReichtards are as capable of original thought as my cats are of building a space shuttle.*

50 years ago these people (or their parents) were fainting and crapping their pants because the dreadful uppity neeeegroooes were demanding that they be allowed to use the same water fountains and bathrooms.

Fuck ‘em. I hope they die of self-inflicted wounds while dodging imaginary ghey cooties.

*Unless they discover a new species of intergalactic tuna.

Comment by hunger tallest palin on 11/20/08 at 06:01 PM

What is it about crappy actors going Christian when their careers are kaput? Willie Aames, Stephen Baldwin, Kirk Cameron?

I feel like the only way to deal with these assholes (esp. serial marital offender Newt Gingrich) is to go nuclear. “Okay, you are afraid that gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage, plus Teh Bible says it’s wrong. But the Bible also prohibits divorce, and doesn’t divorce also destroy the Sanctity of Marriage, the Bedrock of Civilized Society (TM)*? How do you think society should punish multiply divorced sacred-marriage destroyers such as yourself, Mr. Gingrich? Fines? Jail time? No? Not a good idea? Then clearly you A) don’t believe marriage is sacred or B) don’t believe that the state should be butting into the institution along moral grounds, so therefore the churches shouldn’t have anything to say about the secular government extending marital rights to same-sex couples.”

Same thing I think about people who say that abortion is “murder.” Okay, assholes. Have the courage of your convictions and insist that women who have had abortions be sentenced to the death penalty. Don’t pussy out with this “let’s punish the doctors” BS, because when I terminated a pregnancy over 20 years ago, it sure as shit was MY decision, and nobody coerced me. So go ahead—make putting women who abort on Death Row a part of your plank. Because as you always scream, if you killed a baby outside the womb, you’d be considered a murderer?

No? Not ready to go there? Then STFU and accept the pro-choice platform, because your unwillingness to actually follow through on that “murder” thing proves that you actually DO see shades of gray. Either that, or you know following your rhetoric to its logical conclusion would marginalize the anti-choice position even more than it already is.

*As an unmarried person, I already carry a medium-sized chip o’ resentment on my shoulder that my lifestyle choice renders me less important to society. And obviously marriage is such a great civilizing thing, because married people never kick the shit out of each other or their kids, they have no addictions, they don’t get into years-long patterns of abuse and retribution that permanently scar their psyches, etc., etc. Don’t get me wrong—I applaud and celebrate the happily married folks I know (my parents spent 41 years together before my dad died), but the idea that marriage somehow “tames” people and makes them better members of society works my nerves.