Sometimes an Umbrella Is Just an Umbrella

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Most wingnuts go straight for the “uppity” angle when criticizing President Obama for asking two Marines to hold umbrellas over himself and the Turkish Prime Minister at an outdoor press conference during a downpour.

Noted boxed wine enthusiast Ann Althouse digs a bit deeper in a post entitled, “The word ‘umbrella’ appears exactly once in Obama’s ‘Dreams from My Father.’” Do think I’m kidding? No, I am not.

I’m astounded to see that the umbrella figures importantly in the book — and it is even an umbrella held over him by another man (his younger brother Bernard). This happens at the end of what is the most dramatic scene in the book, on the last page of the final chapter.

[snip]

So — as he dramatizes it —it is at the moment when he finds out who he really is that another man suddenly appears and is sheltering him with an umbrella. He’s been crying, but now it all makes sense, and — with the prompting of the younger man — he sees that he is okay.

[snip]

Flash forward, and he’s President. He is in the Rose Garden. It starts to rain. No man suddenly appears with an umbrella. He is getting wet and he is President — with plenty of airplanes and rifles and all of the world’s greatest military at hand — but he is still getting wet. He has to order the Marine to shelter him. It isn’t Bernard squatting with a bent-up old umbrella. It’s a Marine in full-dress uniform, with a fine unbent umbrella, which is nevertheless not correct under the official — male, rigid — Marine Corps regulations… And here he is, the center of the whole world’s attention, and he had to call for the umbrella.  He is not okay.

Wingnuts have demonstrated amazing super powers in the past, including the ability to conduct a comprehensive neurological assessment via a snippet of grainy videotape and audit a family’s finances by peering through the kitchen window at their countertops.

In her analysis of the meaning of UmbrellaGate, Althouse has taken it a step further, investing that “famously Freudian symbol” with powers that far surpass Mary Poppins’ foul weather gear, including the ability to emasculate US Marines and transform the POTUS into an insecure child. It’s both insane and fascinating.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 05/18/13 at 02:08 PM • Permalink

Categories: BoozePoliticsBarack ObamaNutters

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That may yet be the stupidest Althouse column of all time.  And you know what else? It makes me despair for humanity.  I’m engaged in a little project which seems to be live blogging my way through Proust and through Genji and I often do this kind of deep lit crit analysis.  What she’s doing is some kind of perversion of whatever lisence to interpret one could possibly have.  I mean that in the sense that what she is doing is almost obscene.  She uses the tools we use to gain greater insight into literary works and fictional characters to smear and degrade an actual person in the performance of his job.  In the excellent performance of his job, might I add.

You are hosting an important foreign dignitary and it begins to rain—what is the single most conventional and appropriate thing to do as host (whether you are president or pauper?) You get an umbrella or, if there are a sufficiency of underemployed ceremonial guards standing around you ask one of them to step forward. They are not authorized to do so while you are speaking because what you are saying is actually of political moment and mustn’t be capriciously disrupted. 

Althouse is a seriously disturbed woman—if she doesn’t believe what she is saying then she’s a pathological liar, and if she does believe it she must be so soused all the time that she has lost any sense of intelligence or reality she ever had.

Hey, String, if you’re around - remember the discussion a couple of days ago about attaining peak wingnut?  Ain’t never gonna happen.

(As a side note Roy Edroso will never run out of material for his Voice columns.)

This piece should be inserted in the comments of every right wing blog frothing over this incredibly non-scandalous “scandal”.

@aimai—that was actually the SECOND post she did about the umbrella thing today. It’s either world-class trolling or insanity.

Well, shoulda looked here before I posted my link in the Rumpus Room. ;)

For anyone interested: http://www.forwardprogressives.com/attacking-obama-beca use-of-an-umbrella-republicans-reach-new-lows/

lol


Okay, taking my headache away now. :P

It’s a Marine in full-dress uniform, with a fine unbent umbrella, which is nevertheless not correct under the official — male, rigid — Marine Corps regulations

Ya know what’s also not correct under the official — male, rigid — Marine Corps regulations?

Not following orders from your Commander in Chief.

It is my considered opinion that every ridiculous nonsensical thing said by these folks be met with the words: “president Barack Obama”, “White House”, and “Commander-in-Chief”, because they kind of talk like it hasn’t sunk in for them yet. 

Examples:

Loon: “Obama isn’t a citizen.”

Answer: “Really, because it didn’t stop him from becoming president.”

Loon:  “he ate dog, you know.”

Answer: “I’m sure he never eats that in the White House, where he lives.”

Loon:  “Umbrellas are a symbol of his complicated father issues.”

Answer: “Or a symbol of your complicated fantasies about the president, who you would like to see wet for some reason—how long have you felt that way?”

Althouse is a seriously disturbed woman—if she doesn’t believe what she is saying then she’s a pathological liar, and if she does believe it she must be so soused all the time that she has lost any sense of intelligence or reality she ever had.

I’m in for pathological. That takes effort.

Yep Mar, you are correct; peak wingut is impossible, like attaining infinity.  I don’t know why I ever doubt that, and li’l Annie Winebox makes it ever so clear why I never will again!

And didn’t the commencement address the President gave at West Point (?) look impressive with all and sundry appearing not to have the sense to get out of the rain?
It was especially effective in dress uniform.

Of course the insult to the Commander in Chief may have been the goal, but he showed his innate human dignity as he tried to help them all rise above the humiliation by sharing their misery. The President wins again, Losers! Criminy.

Republicans are a national embarrassment, soiling even the institutions they profess to revere.

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