Speaking of confused old farts…
Robert Novak, who is five years older than John McCain, ran over a guy and then drove off, claiming to be unaware that he’d hit the victim, who was “splayed across Novak’s windshield.” Now some folks are speculating that Novak knew perfectly well he’d nailed a pedestrian and was just too much of an asshole to let a minor detail like that delay whatever evil errand he was on.
However, to Floridians like yours truly, this story has a familiar ring – this kind of shit happens all the time down here. For example, a confused old codger ran over a dude in a nearby town and drove for miles with the unfortunate victim lodged in his windshield. He didn’t notice the body until a toll booth attendant alerted him to the situation. I swayer, this is a true story. A local radio station even has a jingle they play in advance of broadcasting such stories. The lyrics go like this:
Hit the gas instead of the brake
Another old fart makes a big mistake.
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!
Why does God hate John McCain? Maybe because McCain is gunning for his job?
After stepping on his dick all week (McCain, not God), the candidate decided to suck some oxygen away from Obama’s World Tour by staging an oil rig photo op to polish his domestic policy cred. And God promptly smote the oil rig with Hurricane Dolly.
Sweet weeping Jesus on a windmill, McCain just can’t win. Odds are he crashes the Straight Talk Express into a war orphan burn unit before this is over.
[ELECT MCCAIN GOD PHOTO VIA TPM]
Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/23/08 at 04:09 PM • Permalink
Categories: Politics • Election '08 • St. McSame •
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