Squirm, Baby, Squirm: Environmental Disasters Are Our Patriotic Duty
Whether it’s the North Slope crude that subsidizes Alaska’s wealth-redistributing Permanent Fund scheme or the Venezuelan engine lubricant that bankrolls the First Dude’s competition snow-machine racing team, oil is the fuel that powers Sarah Palin’s personal ambitions The American Dream.
And just as the Tree of Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants, Sarah knows that the Beaches of Freedom must occasionally be soaked black by the sticky hydrocarbons of American Exceptionalism.
Even though she stops just short of invoking the Challenger tragedy and Marie Curie’s death-by-radium-poisoning as “Price of Progress” parallels, Palin’s tap-dancing defense of her own eco-freaks-be-damned Drill-Here-Drill-Now boosterism is a model of low-viscosity rationalization that out-slicks Bill Clinton:
All responsible energy development must be accompanied by strict oversight, but even with the strictest oversight in the world, accidents still happen. No human endeavor is ever without risk – whether it’s sending a man to the moon or extracting the necessary resources to fuel our civilization. I repeat the slogan “drill here, drill now” not out of naiveté or disregard for the tragic consequences of oil spills – my family and my state and I know firsthand those consequences. How could I still believe in drilling America’s domestic supply of energy after having seen the devastation of the Exxon-Valdez spill? I continue to believe in it because increased domestic oil production will make us a more secure, prosperous, and peaceful nation.
Plus, careful readers will reap Bonus Schadenfreude from Sarah’s sudden embrace of intrusive Big Government meddling in private industry:
In the coming days, there will be hearings to discover the cause of the explosion and the subsequent leak. Actions will be taken to increase oversight to prevent future accidents. Government can and must play an appropriate role here.
Finally, speaking as America’s Unelected Funeral-Greeter-in-Chief, Sarah recycles what has gradually emerged as her out-of-office auto-reply to every preventable catastrophe from illegal wars to mine-roof collapses:
Our hearts go out to all Americans along the coast affected by this recent tragedy, especially those who lost family members in the rig explosion, and our prayers go up for a successful recovery. May spill responders be safe.
Shit Happens. Pray for the Living, Honor the Dead. Suck It Up, America! Any questions?
Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 05/01/10 at 02:00 PM • Permalink
Categories: Politics • Nutters • Sarah Palin • Teabaggery •

