Step Outside, You Nazi Cow
Peggy Noonan, who literally called bullshit on McCain for choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate right before The Speech, is now a convert. Why? Palin put Noonan in danger of soiling her granny panties in the same way St. Ronnie did a couple of decades back: Palin is just so gosh darned American:
Much has been said about her speech, but a few points. “The difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull? Lipstick” is pure American and goes straight into Bartlett’s. This is the authentic sound of the American mama, of every mother you know at school who joins the board, reads the books, heads the committee, and gets the show on the road. These women make large portions of America work.
She has the power of the normal. There is something so normal about her, so “You’ve met this person before and you like her.”
Speak for yourself, Pegs. I have met this woman before, but I don’t like her. She’s not the one who reads the books – she’s the one who tries to get them banned, or, failing that, tries to shit-can the librarian who won’t knuckle under.
She’s one of the many power-mad mombies who elbow their way to the top of the trash heap that is most small-town PTA organizations and then go on to intimidate city councils and run roughshod over school boards in an eternal quest to stamp communities with their particular brand of morality.
She’s the braying jackass who insists on giving Genesis equal time with Charles Darwin in biology class and wants to make sure no 3rd grader is ever corrupted by Heather and Her Two Mommies and that no middle-school student takes in the subversive message of The Catcher in the Rye. She’s Beulah from Field of Dreams:
BEULAH: Your husband plowed under his corn and built a baseball field. The weirdo.
ANNIE: At least he is not a book-burner, you Nazi cow.
BEULAH: At least I’m not married to the biggest horse’s ass in three counties.
ANNIE: All right, Beulah, do you want to step outside?
BEULAH: Fine!
ANNIE: All right, I’ve got a better idea. Let’s take a vote. Who’s for Eva Braun? Who wants to burn books? Who wants to spit on the Constitution of the United States of America? Anybody? All right. Now, who’s for the Bill of Rights? Who thinks freedom is a pretty darn good thing? Come on! Let’s see those hands! Who thinks we have to stand up to the kind of censorship they had under Stalin? All right. There you go. America, I love you. I’m proud of you.
Yeah, I’m in the PTA, and I know the Beulah-Palin type alright. True story: each year, my kid’s elementary school takes a yearbook photo in which all of the kids come together on a field wearing shirts of some pre-determined color to form a message or picture, which is photographed from high atop the school. One year it was an American flag (my kid was part of a red stripe). One year it was the school’s initials.
And one year – about three years ago—the principal proposed that the kids form a peace sign. This came up during a PTA meeting, and our own contingent of Sarah Palins flipped out. A slap in the face to our troops! A political message against our glorious leader, George W. Bush! A capitulation to Osama bin Laden himself! It was unbelievable.
The poor principal, backed up by a few moms (including yours truly), tried to explain that peace wasn’t exactly a controversial subject. But the Palins and Beulahs wouldn’t budge. Rather than sit in undersized elementary school cafeteria chairs and argue about it all night, the principal and teachers proposed that the students form the school mascot – a dolphin – instead. In that year’s photo, it looks like an amoeba.
So yeah, I know Palin, alright. And the thought of her being an erratic 72-year-old heartbeat away from the presidency scares the living shit out of me.
[Cross-posted at Betty Cracker]
Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/05/08 at 11:09 AM • Permalink
Categories: Politics • Election '08 • St. McSame • Bedwetters • PUMAs • Relijun • Sarah Palin •
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