You have to use bleech for the stinch.

I would say this describes the PUMA mindset pretty well:

Round like a circle in a spiral

But I’m glad to see the mentally ill have friends to hang out with.

Murphy and Chucky and Lambert and Stinch
Went down to the bleech where Fuzzy did pinch.

That’s all I got.

Roundy roundy in the getting bigger circle thing
The Bird can’t even hear the Bird-Guy
Stuff is, like, coming unglued!
My souffle has fallen
It is SO getting crazy out there!

[pardon my correct spelling]

On behalf of all Life as it’s known in the Universe…  the Fuck?!?

Oh Hillary C.
Why did you abandon me?
Things are so sucky.

You were so betrayed
I am so so so dismayed
Our nation is spayed.

The Stinch rose from the cesspool
As a spiral of odor might rise from a rotting rose
An ever spinning wheel of corruption
The stone circle has been pushed aside
The Stinch hangs in the shapeless air
Where is Bleech?
The Stinch spins faster
Like a reel within a reel
No Bleech can extinguish the Stinch
To the fire. The cleansing fire!
A match is lit
Fire in the septic hole!
Fire in the septic hole!
The sky explodes!
oh, foul death sprung from sweet beginnings
The Stinch is shattered
and rains to earth among the roses.

*

To clean up a stinch
Is really a cinch
But woe to the Puma
Their end it does looma

I swear, that DeadGirl’s a natural (same thread).

DeadGirl 12.14.08 at 11:07 am

Illinois politics is a cesspool
swirling around the epicenter,
Chicago.

Nothing that comes out
that sewerage political machine
is clean.

Our prez-select is the new face
of Chicago,
but its still the old face,
and Tammany Hall has nothing
on this machine.

I pray there are American law
men and women
who will be relentless in the pursuit
of this corruption
that smells to high heaven.

I also pray
that there are American news
organizations who will pursue
this corruption and all of its slimy tentacles
to the individuals behind it.

DeadGirl 12.14.08 at 1:22 pm

The well-oiled Chicago Political Machine corruption,
well,
its very effective in suppressing whistle
blowers and informants.
As we saw with the primary
and run up to the Convention,
all bets are off when it comes
to dealing with “dissent”.

I am still becalmed,
and I wonder
if it is because we are going to be seeing the wheels
come off the machine
in short order,
as opposed to slowly over the next four years.

That’s it!! they are speaking in tongues. Time to call Father Karras.

The Power of Christ compels you!!!

Whin Hillary is oar leeder wheel be free of the stifling rules of speling and gramar!

Kevin.,

Media is reporting Bush got hit by a shoe by an Iraqi and got called a dog. Put the video up. it will be fun

That is funny!  It was a journalist who pitched the shoes!  Here’s a link (I couldn’t find an embed key):

Marin, the link doesnt work. They have it up on MSNBC.

Guess the Iraqis ran out of flowers.

Cruel Jest:  win.

She’s “becalmed.”  As in, “dead in the water?”

Stinch be not proud
A pinch not as loud
of bleech speakith I
like a trumpet of strumpets
and what rhymes with mumpetts ?

Don’t dance her
don’t plants her
come blitzen on nixon
We strap on the Dixons
Obamas not fixin

a pass like the donnor
our dinner we honor
we vomit on comet
don’t smash her
don’t dash her

Not stupid like Cupid
whom what should appear
a bobblehead dashboard thing
up from the rear

I heard it assert itself
as it grew far less near
and go out of site

with eight tiny footprints
go not quietly
into the night

say no to the cold fallen snow
Bot be not O

The new Poet Emeritus of Rumproast, Scooter.

You know, the thing that makes me saddest about the PUMAS (aside from their existence and their raging stupidity, racism, etc.) is their absolute refusal to take agency. No wonder all their attempts at “activism” fall flat. They’re always on “the prowl” for someone to Save Them so they don’t have to suffer anymore. Big Mama Hillary, Phony-Baloney Scam Artist Darrgah, Nutballs Phil Berg, Andy Martin, Donofrio, the “American law men and women” and “American news organizations”—they are always laying back supine, suffused with resentment and anger but too passive to actually DO the things they say they’re going to. So they bitch and whine and wonder why No One Will Save Poor Widdle Victims-Of-Vaginahood like themselves.

Meantime, Mrs. Clinton has moved on, and the PUMAS haven’t done a damn thing to erase her debt. As for “stifling dissent” in Denver? Dudettes, in order to “stifle” a protest, enough of you would have had to get off your Whiny Oppressed Widdle Victim asses and GO to Denver to protest!

I mean Christ, get away from the self-reinforcing Petulant Victim Forum once in a while and take some direct action on your own behalf. Even if it’s only to toss a shoe. ;)

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
But I will cut your cock off
With a laser from my eyes.

With my good friend Aileen Wuornos
Standing arm in arm with me,
I will leave a whistling blow-hole
Where your hoo-hoo used to be.

And if you dare to mock me
For my shitty radio show,
I’ll hold a lighter to your scrotum
Till your chestnuts start to glow.

I may not be much to look at
And my voice is really shrill.
But I’ll be the debt collector
When your penis pays the bill.

I am the Queen of PUMAs.
I like to sing and dance.
And if you don’t believe me
I will punch you in the pants.

  —Jenniforhillary Angelou

Well done, StrangeAppar8us.  Time to take a crack myself…

Once upon a weeknight dreary,
While I shouted, red with fury,
At the many mean and nasty Obots, I began to stew.
While I Googled, cut and pasted,
They proclaimed my time was wasted,
And Our Girl was cooked and basted.
Based—it seems, on nothing true.
So much Oblathering, I muttered, simply none of it is true.
  My IQ is 2 x u.

Ah, distinctly I remember,
It was in that sad November,
Sexist deeds I yet remember felled McCain—and also you.
Eagerly I kept on blogging,
Banning, commenting and slogging,
Thinking if I kept on flogging,
Stale old claims I could renew.
All the nuisance suit and claptrap, old and tired, would be made new.
  My IQ is 2 x u.

  —E. A. “myiq2xu” Poe

Sean—I can’t top that. You even held the meter without cheating. Bravo. ;->

PS: I propose immediate groundbreaking on a special Extension Circle of Hell for the owner of the phrase “wearing hobos faces.” I mean, there is “Sad Girl” poetry and there is Emo poetry…and then there is just pure embarrassing schlock.

Bravo to all the poets of Rumproast, Inc.!  I think I handle prose pretty well but am a complete disaster at poetry so I can only stand by and admire your talents.  This has been a lot of fun!

StrangeAppar8us—Thanks, but Poe’s not as hard as he looks.  And I was lucky not to have anything in my mouth when I read the “whistling blowhole/where your hoo-hoo used to be” part.  That was brilliant.

KarenWI 12.14.08 at 9:00 pm

  Those in the group who have ESP, or get visions, tell prophecies, or do astrology… anybody have anything that’s being “said” regarding the date of the Electoral College or the date of the inauguaration???

I have a vision Karen, it says you are F****d!

I mostly just don’t understand the “hobo” line.

I think what she is trying to get at is, maybe, clown faces or clown hobos where the smile or expression is painted on but the real emotions lie hidden within.  Puma subtlety is hard to shake out.

sean and marin—I’ve read that piece several times, and as near as I can tell, “wearing hobos faces” is a gratuitous plug-in…probably a line that’s been looking for a home since her junior high journal.

It generally suggests sad, haunted, homeless people without hope—so it sort of fits—but it seems texturally as out of place here as a Red Skelton clown painting at a Goth thrill-kill.

Old poetry trick—if you have an image that doesn’t make sense in the context, use it several times so it seems intentional. The reader will assume it’s wicked deep and a sign of real genius.

oh dear god, I’m so going to hell. -bites lip-

HT, on December 14th, 2008 at 6:21 pm Said:
delurking…Johninca, what can I write that hasn’t already been posted. Awesome talent. You too Swan!

It’s so nice to lurk at a place that is hone to so many brilliant and talented people. For awhile, before this blog started, almost a year ago, I thought that intelligent discourse was dead. I’ve been here daily ever since…

Nell, on December 14th, 2008 at 6:50 pm Said:
While your meter and rhyme may not be perfect, Swannie, I find the message of your poem far more nuanced and subtle than the sophomoric sledge hammer of other poets I’ve read elsewhere.
I nominate you for Confluence Poet Laureate.

swanspirit, on December 14th, 2008 at 9:58 pm Said:

NELL you are so sweet to nominate me hugs to you !!! And i am so flattered you like my writing !!
( do we have a POET LAUREATE ?? ) but if anyone deserves it it is
Johninca. He is SO much more talented and prolific than i coud ever hope to be ,and my efforst are sporadic and unstructured .
Thanks everyone for all the nice things you have said you all are too kind !!
Love and hUGS
Swannie

Nell, on December 14th, 2008 at 10:13 pm Said:
Swannie–quantity does not trump quality. My vote for Confluence Poet Laureate still goes to you. That one (male) amateur poet thinks it is his prerogative to critique the work another (female) amateur poet is the height of hubris (IMHO). I look forward to reading more of your poetry.

johninca, on December 14th, 2008 at 10:27 pm Said:
Nell, I am presently the poet laureate here, but I do not hold that position jealously; it were Riverdaughter’s alone to bestow or take away.

I wish to let your criticism of me stand, while clarifying one thing.

It is not my prerogative to critique Swanspirit. I love Swanspirit.
She asked my opinion and I gave it; that is all.

You look forward to reading her poetry. So do I. You read it because I asked her to post it here, on my thread.

You will have your wish, which is also my wish, to see more of her work– if she allows me to post it.

You will never find me upset at any fair critique of my work, or at your opinion of the superiority of Swan’s work. For me, the only devastating critique is the reader’s silence. –john

Nell, on December 14th, 2008 at 11:56 pm Said:
I do not see where Swanspirit asked for anyone’s critique of her
poetry, only permission to post it.

John, I find your constant need for approval of your poetic efforts rather sad, but if Riverdaughter has designated you Poet Laureate, so be it. That’s her prerogative. Frankly, if I were RD, I’d find your worshipful adulation downright creepy.

...omfg, he’s really serious:

oh my god, he’s really serious:

Puma subtlety is hard to shake out.

like dropping a lit match in a septic tank.

*

And here we have it, from the horse’s mouth:

hobos faces … we were hobos , lacking resources not knowing where we were going , but we couldn’t stay where we were… we had to move on …. and hobos ; no one cares who a hobo is ; when you are speaking secrets , best to be an unknown wanderer

StrangeAppar8us—I think you nailed it, since the line makes some sense by itself, but fits all cock-eyed in the poem.  The whole thing has a bit of a Frankensteinian feel.  Then again, I never write non-joke poetry, so who am I to criticize?

There was a young woman named Nell,
Twixt good poems and bad she could tell.
When a PUMA named John,
Did not bow down to Swan,
her sense of outrage started to swell.