SuperMitt!

Move over Spidey, there’s another superhero on the block! Having lurked under a secret identity among us since he landed from the planet Kolob and was adopted by his Earth parents (take that, birfers!), he’s just unmasked himself as The Smirking Wimp—SuperMitt!

SuperMitt!

In his mind.                      In your lyin’ eyes.

SuperMitt! fell into a quantum anomaly as a child and was bitten on the ass by a temporal paradox! Since then, SuperMitt! has discovered that he has mastery over the very fabric of time and space and other stuff!

Not only can he see the future

EXCLUSIVE – Romney on Debates: Obama Will ‘Say Things That Aren’t True’

but he can warp causality and create new hypothetical universes with a click of his booties! All he has do is shout “IF ...,” and the whole space-time continuum subMitts to his will and reshuffles itself!

Advisers to Mitt Romney on Thursday defended his sharp criticism of President Obama and said that the deadly protests sweeping the Middle East would not have happened if the Republican nominee were president.

Oh, and he has a sidekick, +1, but he doesn’t really do anything except tag along and look purty!

Further superpowers will no doubt come to light as we learn that THERE’S SIMPLY NOTHING SuperMitt! CAN’T DO! I’ve probably missed some already, so help me out here!

Or Click here to become an official Roaster!

UPDATE!

It seems I’m behind the times here! Folks are already busy identifying SuperMitt!‘s superpowers at #Romneystrength!

[h/t amused]

Posted by YAFB on 09/14/12 at 10:25 AM • Permalink

Categories: ImagesPoliticsBedwettersElection '12MittensVulture/Voucher 2012NuttersPolisnarkSkull Hampers

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the deadly protests sweeping the Middle East would not have happened if the Republican nominee were president.

Nope. Never. No way. You simple libtards have never recognized the awesomeness that is a Republican president. His steely nerve is inbred, his Churchillian resolve serves as a blinking car alarm warning that if you mess around here you’ll get a lot of annoyed neighbors and barking dogs.

Y’all just don’t understand how the testosterone levels of a manly-man American Republican president make violent men weep in their morning yogurt and can cow the masses of even the most far-flung collection of flag-burning radicals.

There have never been any sort of violent protests, attacks, or even plans, thoughts or inklings of violent attacks on American interests at any time in the history of all time when a Republican was president.

So shut up.

Great timing! I was just having fun twitting at #romneystrength

Crap, I need to get a job, stat.

Thanks, amused! I’ve added that to the post!

Much like Batman, SuperMitt will always have worthy foes to fight!

If no villians exist, SuperMitt will will them into existence!  There will always be exciting daring-do, true believers!

Comment by Lowkey on 09/14/12 at 11:01 AM

Josh Marshall on #romneystrength—strong enough for a man, made for a woman

I am honored, YAFB. My fave so far was “With #romneystrength, my dentures never slip!” Ha!

CAPTCHA? For one so as pretty as me? Why?

Sign up, JS, and never see it again!

Click here to become an official Roaster!

But I already was a Roaster, and when I try to re-sign up, it says my name is already taken.

Not sure what’s going on there, JS.

You don’t need to re-register, you just need to login with your usual name and password.

Let me know if that doesn’t work and I’ll look at it some more.

All fixed! Thank You, YAFB.

I have the same sad-making experience: I sign in on the form, and it tells me my name, email, etc. are already taken.  I’m all, WTF?

Since then, SuperMitt! has discovered that he has mastery over the very fabric of time and space and other stuff!

He first realized he had this power when he retroactively retired.  It’s a pity sick people don’t have this power because they could then get insurance under Romney’s proposed replacement of Obamacare.

Comment by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 09/14/12 at 07:14 PM

Spot on BBBB!  His retroactive retirement was clearly the first manifestation of his awesome retro-time-travelling powers, as the folks over at #romneystrength have chronicled:

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Mitt Romney

If Romney were president, Saddam would’ve had WMDs.

Of course, they’ve discovered that he’s gained additional superpowers since then:

To walk, talk, lie, cheat, gaffe, blunder, bluster, miscalculate, mishandle and offend, ALL at the same time!

The ability to transcend the truth and smirk while doing it

Poor old Spidey.  He only had the sense that “with great power, comes great responsibility”, whereas #romneystrength serves a more noble ultimate purpose:

The ability to make lifelong Republicans vote to reelect Obama

Now that is a superpower I can get behind!!

#Romneystrength = 7 points weaker than #ObamaStrength

I have the same sad-making experience: I sign in on the form, and it tells me my name, email, etc. are already taken.  I’m all, WTF?

From what I can see, you registered with your own real name as your username, and Mr. Wonderful (no space) as your screen name.

Again, like JS, you don’t need to register, just login under “Members:” on the sidebar up there using your username (not screen name) and the password you gave.

the deadly protests sweeping the Middle East would not have happened if the Republican nominee were president.


His biggest super power: being delusional!

Seriously, as if this film wouldn’t have made the area crazy just because he’s president. I’d say someone needs to smack some sense into that man, but it’s quite obviously a lost cause.

Hello.

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