I was kind of hoping he was going to say “as often as a stripper sheds her clothes” or “as often as Sarah Palin appears on Fox News” or “as often as Brett Favre says he’s retiring.”

Oh yeah, and Lamar Alexander wants his shirt back.

So am I to understand that mooses just freaking shed their antlers? They just fall off their heads at certain times of the year? Jeebus.

So am I to understand that mooses just freaking shed their antlers?

Hell, they break the fuckers off on rocks and trees, rather than chance ending up stuffed on some yahoo’s wall.

Moose are smart. They’ve seen what having antlers gets you.

@Allan—Yeah, Joe’s not real popular, even though he’s done everything but walk around in a bear skin with a salmon strapped to each side of his head to try to establish his Alaskan Kultur Kred.

Men who like plaid shirts and long walks in the woods are the bane of politics…and dating classifieds.

With the sound off, this almost looks like a Grape Nuts commercial

Hell, they break the fuckers off on rocks and trees, rather than chance ending up stuffed on some yahoo’s wall.

LOL.  Moose, deer and elk shed their antlers in the winter and grow them back in the spring.  If you see them in late spring/early summer the antlers look all fuzzy because they’re covered with “velvet”.  They rub the velvet off on trees so by mid-summer the antlers are bare whatever-it-is-antlers-are-made-of.  I believe they do also bang the loosening antlers on rocks and trees in the late fall, probably because it feels annoying to have the things wobbling around on top.

I don’t know why they shed the antlers but my assumption would be that snow falling out of trees could potentially break the antlers and wound the animals so better just to get rid of them.

@marindenver—I think it may be a mating-related thing, like the giant bony, prehensile wallet I used to grow right before the Shadyside Arts Festival.

Someone needs to overdub that bad boy with MP’s The Lumberjack Song.

So am I to understand that mooses just freaking shed their antlers?

Yes, as do deer & elk. If you’re ever out in the woods you’ll see scraped up trees and torn up bushes. They’ve either been scraping off the velvet in the spring, or have gotten bored waiting for another buck to fight in the fall. Once the velvet’s off the antlers are “dead” (no more blood to them) and will eventually fall off. Keeping them year round would be bad because they can & do get caught on things, which is awkward when being chased by wolves.

I’ll be damned. We have deers in Florida too, and I spend a fair amount of time traipsing through the forest, but I’ve never once stumbled over a cast-off antler. Maybe because I never wear black and red checked flannel shirts?

I’ve never once stumbled over a cast-off antler.

Rodents like to snack on them. If we make the mistake of leaving the ones we find on the porch something makes a spirited attempt to drag them off.

HTP, you’ll note that almost all—if not all—of Joe’s atlers are the same set.

He finds them. He carries them. He leans on them. He throws them away. But they keep coming back.

Of course, that’s what happens when you keep staggering around the same small clearing, so your shooter can just stand there with a tripod and swivel you into a “new” backdrop. This was some truly cut-rate location work.

the antlers are bare whatever-it-is-antlers-are-made-of

It’s dead protein, like hair or nails.

I wanted to find that cheesy ‘70s Protein 29 commercial where the barber says, “Nice head of protein you have there. Did you notice I said ‘protein’?” but sadly, it is not on the YouTube.