TBogg: Funniest Motherfucker in the Universe

I simply adore the Basset Master for posts like this one. An excerpt, in which a pair of whiny dickheads who discovered to their horror that Barack Obama is—gasp! a politician!—are righteously ridiculed:

And what is Michael Zambrelli’s greatest achievement in life? Well, he is the man who helped to rebrand Chuck E. Cheese from a teenager forced into wearing a moth-eaten rat costume reeking of sweat, old cheese and minimum wage while entertaining packs of feral children eating slightly warm cardboard and ketchup-flavored pizza when they’re not cavorting in one of those Ball Pits of Childhood Diseases into a backwards-hat-wearing “hip, electric-guitar-playing rock star” just like Scott Stapp but with less Jesus.

Maybe it’s because I once had to crawl into a urine-stinking human Habitrail at Chuck E. Cheese and haul out a naked feral child who was blocking the exit chute, thus entrapping a dozen children, including my then five-year-old daughter, that I found TBogg’s description so howlingly funny. Or maybe it’s just because TBogg is the funniest motherfucker in the universe. Rock on, Mr. Bogg.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/09/12 at 04:39 PM • Permalink

Categories: I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What I Like • Politics • Barack Obama • Bedwetters • Election '08 • Election '12 •

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The Zambrellis (and all the other priviligocrats quoted) remind me of this Wal Street mofo who will own all our crappy little jobs and teach 3rd graders for fun! if we dare try to take his special masteroftheuniverse carried interest tax rates away from him.

Guillotines and pitch forks are looking better and better.

Comment by marindenver on 07/09/12 at 05:07 PM

I went to a party for a younger neighborhood kid when I was about 10-11 (the upper limit, I think, for enjoying rodent-themed dining venues).  I had three epiphanies that day—1) But I can play Atari at home like, all the time! 2) I really can’t stand being surrounded by children, and 3) the entertainment never makes up for the food. Never.
(Vixen, tween critic).

I’m really sure someone else could have thought of making a fictional mouse hipper. (Engines of the economy….my stars…..)

Comment by Vixen Strangely on 07/09/12 at 05:50 PM

An old pal of ours decided he’d surprise his four-year-old daughter for her birthday by returning home from the costume store dressed as Mickey Mouse laden with her presents.

She ran screaming from the approaching six-foot rat.

Comment by YAFB on 07/09/12 at 06:14 PM

YAFB - that young lady has a bright future in the Public Health department.

Vixen - those were about what I concluded after my first visit to a Chuck E. Cheese, but I was a couple years older. I was mostly interested in the video games, but the ambience destroyed any enjoyment I took in them.

Comment by Xecky Gilchrist on 07/09/12 at 07:07 PM

I used to beg off the parties at places like that when my sons were young. My husband, who is a ten-year-old in an adult body, would gladly take them so I didn’t have to.

When my oldest son was in seventh grade, he had to attend a pep rally. He never was a pep rally kind of kid, and when I picked him up afterwards, he said, “Mom, I finally understand how you used to feel about going to Chuck E Cheese’s”.

I gave him a high five.

Comment by donnah on 07/09/12 at 08:10 PM

The man is proud of promoting heart disease, loud noises, gambling and oversized rodents to children? What’s next?
Third Rail JungleGyms? Waterwings made of cement? Nerds Magnets?

Comment by knittingbull on 07/10/12 at 10:38 PM
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