People continue to vote on one issue alone and often don’t understand the implications of even that single one. The only woman I know who will be voting for the old man and barbie will do so with the delusion that they will overturn Roe which will then magically make all abortions vanish. She’s out of work, not thrilled about the war and has daughters but she will vote against all her interests based on this one bit.
We can never lose money underestimating our fellow man.

Clearly women are more sexist than men. And they’re just jealous and bitchy. Good thing the little ladies will vote the way their men tell them to!

What?

I think Donna correctly identifies the reason—it’s a culture wars thing. People focus on so-called partial birth abortion. Or on who is perceived to be tougher on terrorists (even if the so-called “tough” party hasn’t managed to capture or kill Osama bin Laden nearly 8 years after 9/11).

I know some of y’all probably thought I was being a chicken little about the Palin pick (it was the one pick I most worried about), but this is exactly why it concerned me: Despite her manifest lack of qualifications for the job, she taps into that culture wars theme that Dems traditionally lose and Reps generally win.

It’s the stupidity of our fellow countrymen (and women, albeit in smaller numbers) that allows them to perceive a dim-witted Yale male cheerleader as a brush-clearin’ cowpoke and transforms a genuine war hero into an effete French gigolo. Can the undeniably wretched state of our country break through Teh Stupid this year? That’s very much an open question. But I have hope.

“I am he-man woman-lover hear me roar!”  Come on fellow dudes, wake the fuck up!

The only woman I know who will be voting for the old man and barbie will do so with the delusion that they will overturn Roe which will then magically make all abortions vanish.

Obama’s not concerned, and neither am I.

Sarah Palin is like that really hot chick that you managed to hook up with back in college.  At first it’s bliss and you feel like the coolest kid on the block, but a few weeks later you discover that she’s an emotional train wreck that you want no part of.

Just wait till she hits the interview circuit, starting Thursday and continuing though next week.  Once the voters see how she handles herself under the same level of scrutiny that Obama, Biden, and McCain have had to endure, the honeymoon will be over and the bounce will be gone.

I’ve said it before: America just had a charming blind-date with Sarah. Very soon, we’re going to notice that she chews with her mouth open, has an annoying accent, uses our toothbrush, hates the Three Stooges, wants us to stop drinking and always leaves the toilet seat up.

Women get a bad rap for being fickle, but nothing sours faster than male infatuation. She’ll remain an ideological pin-up for most conservative males, but a lot of guys who are rating her positive now are going to wake up sober tomorrow and stop returning her text messages.

Damn, Pumalicious beat me by 2:00!

Indeed, she’s the sexy-psycho-at-the-party your friends dared you to take home.

As my brother-in-law told me in ‘06 when I asked him why he voted for likely felon John Doolittle…again, “Barbara Boxer will raise my taxes.”

These people are incredibly muddled and misinformed, but they’re very, very happy to live in a world they totally “understand.” No matter what the republicans do, the democrats will always be worse. What could be simpler?

Just ask Rush.

Good news: The Sarah Palin action-figure is now available…and it looks like the Human Resources Manager from Hell:

Lady Penelope—I’M IN!

Hello Kitty/Sailor Sarah ‘08

Very soon, we’re going to notice that she chews with her mouth open, has an annoying accent, uses our toothbrush, hates the Three Stooges, wants us to stop drinking and always leaves the toilet seat up.

I gotta agree with Marindenver on the 3 Stoogies issue. My husband thinks they’re comedic geniuses, but I’d rather subject myself to a Teletubbies marathon.

Betty & Marin—I was using a form of literary substitution known as “synecdoche,” whereby “Three Stooges” stands for a broad class of televised entertainment including “Laurel & Hardy,” “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai” and slasher films in general.

I had hoped to make my point in a lighthearted, comical manner. But, no—you just HAVE to pick, pick, pick at me all the time, complain that I don’t make enough money and embarrass me in front of my friends with that stupid story about me fixing the shower faucet. You ruin everything I used to enjoy, and you make me dread waking up to you.

That’s it. The wedding’s off.

I agree; the whole lot here is wonderful and creative.

Well, I can’t speak for Marindenver, but I for one won’t miss StrangeAppar8us leaving his dirty clothes on the floor (why can he not just put them in the hamper?) nor his absurd belief that I must know the location of any household item he seeks that doesn’t fall into his outstretched hands. Find the scissors yourself, you heartless bastard. Marindenver and I will be parked on the sofa with bourbon and dulce de leche milkshakes watching “Steel Magnolias” and “Fried Green Tomatoes.”

Betty—Yeah, I’m having a drink before 5:00. I drank during the day before I met you, and I’ve got a hell of a lot better reason to drink now than I did then, thank YOU.

Oh, and you know what? I looked it up on Google, and warm water DOES make ice faster than cold water—so the next time you go banging around in the freezer, why don’t you leave the effing trays alone and just bring me a gawdamn Nutty-Buddy, OK?

Jesus.

I think you all need to get a room.  A few more rounds of he said she said and I think it will be time for make up..you know what.

P.S. The Three Stooges suck.

To be fair, I think the situation would be reversed if the Republicans had chosen hasselh0f as VP.

This afternoon I’m trying to write to as many news outlets as possible, and encourage them to go after the RNC for protecting McCain and Palin from the media.

I mean, seriously, if neither of them can handle an extended grilling in a press conference, then neither will be able to handle the White House Press Corps.

This is a serious topic that we, the voters, can hit the Republicans hard on.  Write and demand that McCain and Palin provide full and total media access.  They have to stop hiding behind surrogates and teleprompters and start speaking for themselves.

Marindenver and I will be parked on the sofa with bourbon and dulce de leche milkshakes watching “Steel Magnolias” and “Fried Green Tomatoes.”

Damn straight we will and if anyone has the nerve to walk in and say “What’s for dinner?” we are so outa there!

Yo babes, what’s for dinner?

I was just taken to task over at firedoglake because the ladies filling in for Ackerman find that doll so goddamned offensive they could spit!.

And they did, now all of my comments are moderated.

P.S. The Three Stooges suck.

Penis envy, plain and simple. Those guys were such big dicks chicks are jealous.

Kevin K.—Thanks for the insightful post, the killer photo…and the undeserved marquee mention.

Pumalicious—You’re right. Most of these folks need hip-waders to get through the flaming stacks of PUMA-mail stuffed in their inboxes. A little encouragement and a challenge to rise to their role might be a welcome change. I don’t expect Brian Williams to stand bolt upright and start channeling the ghost of Edward R. Murrow, but they all need to start hearing sound out of BOTH speakers.

Betty & Marin—You know what the hell’s wrong with you? You don’t know how damn good you’ve got it, that’s what. I see a LOT of gals sneaking a peak at me down at Foodland, and I’m not talking about a casual glance. I mean the kind of look that says, “Hot damn. If I could get close to that, I’d be a nasty little whore 24/7 and let him loan me out to his friends if that gives him pleasure.”

Chicks can sense me, like pheromones. Not that I’d ever do anything about it. I’m just sayin’. Word to the wise.

P.S. The Three Stooges suck.

Penis envy, plain and simple. Those guys were such big dicks chicks are jealous.

I have it on good authority that Iceberg Wedge has a penis and can be a dick sometimes.

sign me,
Iceberg Wedge-a guy who thinks the three stooges sucked

Iceberg Wedge-a guy who thinks the three stooges sucked

And the angels of slapstick comedy wept. Then they took away his Manhood Club card and sent him away to Jesus Camp to repent his sins.

I know a lot of people are hailing Palin as the new Reagan—even if they hate her politics, they think she taps into the zeitgeist or something.

But I think that does a disservice to Reagan (and fuck me if I thought I’d EVER type a phrase like that!) First of all, Reagan actually DID serve as governor of a real, er, I mean a big state. (Shit, if I talk about big states and small states, will I turn into Mark Penn? AIEEEE!) I hold no brief for his tenure as governor of California, but it IS California, and far more of a real job than the largely-ceremonial guv of Texas post that Dubya occupied. And he had been an affable and well-liked actor, if not a huge household name, before his career in politics.

And Reagan didn’t make his mark with people by nasty pit-bull stuff (in lipstick or otherwise). This is the guy who gave us “It’s morning in America” and out-Mercered Johnny Mercer in Ac-cent-u-ating the Positive, and shrugged off criticism with “There you go again” and a chuckle, rather than sneering Mean Girl sarcasm. McCain and Palin just have nasty cheap gibes in place of sunny optimism. And while that may work with the Nasty Fundie I Hate Elitists Because They Remind Me God Gave Me a Brain and Is Probably Pissed I’m Not Using It Set, I’m not so sure that it’s a winning strategy in the long run when things are so clearly in the toilet economically and otherwise.

Because it’s hard to argue that McNasty McCain is a cheerier and more reassuring presence than Obama, and Palin is too self-absorbed and clumsily scripted to really play the warm avuncular “everything’s gonna be all right” role that Ronnie had down cold.

(But just in case, I’m socking away some of my recent inheritance money in case I need to move to Glasgow or something.)