The arrival of Y2010 switches Mittbott to “ON” position

And you thought the ‘tweens & teens might be a dull decade in comparison to the tragicomic aughties! But like an animatronic groundhog issuing forth from his Punxsutawney-based battery charger, the quasi-lifelike android known as Mitt Romney emitted a short burst of static and prepared to hit the campaign trail on a No Apologies book tour, which portends endless mirth and entertainment.

The tour started out with an apology of sorts—an effort to quash unflattering comparisons with Governor Moosemunch’s magnum opus and the attendant hullabaloo:

“Inevitably there are going to be comparisons with the Sarah Palin book,’’ said Eric Fehrnstrom, a Romney spokesman. “We’re not going to match her crowd size or sales. These are two different people with different ways of expressing themselves.’’

No doubt. Palin might be a vicious, pea-brained, whining wingnut with a Queen Esther complex, but even most of her enemies assume she’s a human being, and to her supporters, she’s a human being who has transformed into a religious icon—a Moose-Slaying Madonna whose Word is the ultimate Shield of Faith against unbelieving heathen hordes. Romney’s effort is unlikely to send thrills up the legs of anyone aside from Hugh Hewitt. (And the less said about those particular appendages, the better. Some of us are still dealing with hangovers.)

Still, the title of Romney’s upcoming book is calculated to provoke, as foreshadowed in an interview Romney did on the Hannity show this past summer, in which Romney attempted to emulate human wingnut resentment toward Obama’s “Hey, I’m not George W. Bush!” tour of Europe and the Middle East, which was marked by stunning, soul-shattering admissions that America is not perfect:

HANNITY: All right. Let’s talk about this apology tour. You were at the Heritage Foundation and basically blasted the president for this ongoing apology tour. Is this what we’re going to get now in the next four days?

ROMNEY: I sure hope not. I hope he listened to my comments and those that you’re making and that other people have made. Actually the Britain’s paper, The Guardian, said that this American president has been more critical of his own country while on foreign soil than any American president in history.

That’s not a distinction you want at any time. But particularly now with the North Koreans pursuing their weapons of mass destruction, with Iran, belligerently pursuing their nuclear ambition. With all that’s happening in the world, in Afghanistan, in Iraq, and Somalia and across the world, you want an American president who is confident and determined in our protection of freedom, and in the fact that America is a great nation and that we have sacrificed more than any other nation to help other people reclaim freedom, and given all of that, these constant apologies, I think, are quite troublesome.

“Quite troublesome” is the Romnoid version of “godless commie pinko foreign Muslim supremacist goat-fucker.” It will be fascinating to see what other epithets Romney .2012 employs to try to co-opt the teabaggers, particularly since he’ll be forced to spin his Massachusetts health care reform effort as something wholly apart from the Democrats’ reform bill and without a shred of socialism and government takeover in sight despite numerous similarities.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/04/10 at 04:50 PM • Permalink

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