The Civil War as performed by CLAYMEN

8th grade history projects were never this cool (or Tarantino-esque) when I was a kid. *sigh*

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/29/10 at 07:23 PM • Permalink

Categories: CrittersKnee SlappersMessylaneousYouTubidity

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Goddamn it Kevin, that’s it. I’ll be in Brooklyn next week and I am gonna kick your ass.

What the fuck, where is Charlestown? It must be near Fort Sumpter because neither goddamned place exists.

Charleston and Sumter.

Shiloh was a surprise attack by the Rebs, not the Yanks and it nearly cost Grant his career. Heavy fighting took place around a hillcock forever known as the Hornet’s Nest and was a sobering harb inger of what was to come as the fighting wore on.

There most certainly was a definitive outcome to the Wilderness battle. First, it was a series of combat actions surrounded by constant maneuver by Grant’s forces as he continually tried to flank Lee’s right.

There was almost continuous and daily fighting for more than a month, including an epic, savage confrontation at a place called Spotsylvania courthouse and a few weeks later the campaign stalled outside a lonely crossroad called Cold Harbor, where, for the last time Grant ordered an attack against an entrenched position that saw nearly six thousand Yankees shot down in under 30 minutes.

We wouldn’t see a repeat of that folly until 1914 when the dumbass Brits, French and Germans thought it was a good idea to march battalions into machine gun fire.

The end result of the Wilderness campaign saw Lee struggling to protect both Richmond and Petersburg and once Grant kicked off the campaign, Lee would never fight as the aggressor again, at least not with the army of Northern Virgina.

You now have detention, because I aint even gonna touch the kids’ pronunciation of Antietam.

This was an excellent execution of claymation created by an eighth grader. You are like a very angry Ken Burns minus the tidy/sexy bangs. Plus a lot of swearing. Please leave your membership badge at the door.

Or create your own claymation, you lazy bastard.

Don’t look at me, some of this shit went down in my back yard practically and I have NO idea of the details beyond: Lots of guys (and horses) died, medical science improved vastly and when all was said and done, my ancestors couldn’t be sold in job lots.

Oh, and some Southerners are really fucking POOR losers.

Wait, was this really done by an 8th grader?

Man, I don’t have that kind of patience and concentration NOW. I won’t have it when I’m DEAD.

Hope he got an A. (And look, don’t tell me if he just sat down and did this for fun. I’m feeling inadequate enough as it is.)

When I was in eighth grade, we made bowling pin lamps, and I got my hair wound up in the lathe.

Bowling pins are hollow inside, btw.

GREAT little film, kid. Ignore the bad slavering man; he’s got to get his metaphors out—he’s a sportswriter.

I’ve worked with a couple of Hollywood stop-motion specialists, and I have to say that this is both inspired from a storytelling standpoint, and technically quite brilliant.

When this youngster is finally released from the Hadleyville State Institution for the Criminally Insane, I’m pretty sure he’ll find a lot of open doors in LA!

LOL, this is very cool and would get a lot of people a lot more interested in the details of the war.

I think the creator had a lot of fun with the pink clay!

Awesome!  Loved it.  Sent it to my father-in-law, who’s quite the history buff and has a great sense of humor too.  Thanks for finding & sharing.

I just love Snoopy walking through the bloodbath at the end. Though of course real history buffs know that it was actually Peabody and his boy, Sherman.

Watching that made me spend hours moving little bits of brown and yellow clay to animate an image of myself throwing up.

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