The Fool On The Hill
For those of you, like me, who were hornswoggled by the notion that something paranormal had knocked Paul Ryan off his ass on the road to Janesville, last week—my sympathy. I know how stupid you feel.
Just as the third chorus of Kumbaya had faded on the breeze and Patty Murray peeled off to do something better, Paul Ryan betook himself to Mr Chris Wallace’s World of Whimsy on Fox News Sunday for a preview of the GOP’s plan to amp up America’s Post Holiday Blues.
We as a caucus—along with our Senate counterparts—are going to meet and discuss what it is we’re going to want out of the debt limit. We don’t want nothing out of this debt limit. We’re going to decide what it is we’re going to accomplish out of this debt limit fight.
Should have seen that coming when we were treated to this elegant defense of the Flying Monkeys of the Conservosphere that cranky old John Boehner got his “Irish up” about:
I think John just got his Irish up there,” Ryan said. “I think these groups are valuable. The way I look at it is this: They’re part of our conservative family. I’d prefer to keep these conversation within our family.
[Read: And I need the money bombs they can lay on any of my future endeavors . . .]
I have to wonder if Ryan would have been so bold if he had not been making said pronouncement on his way out of town. Guess we’ll never know.
Throwing down that gauntlet before the Senate votes on his budget is, perhaps, a mis-step that the Old Gun—Boehner—might not have made. So, the Speaker might get the last laugh on that one.
And now, the most recent tactic is bringing the strategy into focus . . . if you can call making the same mistake for the eleventy-eleventh time a “strategy.”
At least we don’t need a playbook to follow along.
Here’s how I expect them to roll:
The Republicans will go to their “retreats” and get all boozed up and testosterone-y over being the minority, make up a list of demands that must be met before they will release their imaginary hostages, i.e., Obamacare, the shrinking deficit, Medicare, Social Security, etc.,
When it comes time to raise the debt limit AGAIN, House Republicans will stomp their feet and hold their breath and wish they were in charge.
Whereupon the President will remind them that he refuses to negotiate over Congress paying the debts it has incurred . . . just like the last two times.
Whereupon Republicans will wave the Ryan-Murray budget, wrapped up in a Gadsden flag, that proves they are willing to negotiate ergo better than Democrats who won’t.
Whereupon Paul and John’s Excellent Caucus will steadfastly refuse to raise the debt limit up until a few days before global financial cataclysm is due.
Whereupon Republicans will pee their big boy pants and implore The Gentleman from Kentucky to stick his head out of his shell—in the middle of a damn campaign, fer gawd’s sake—and bail them out of the crapper without getting too much on them.
Whereupon their party approval ranking will tank to negative numbers and the mummers of the Far Right will start a hubbub about impeachment and 2nd American Revolution.
Whereupon the GOP will extend its losing streak and further diminish its chances of winning a national election until all of the Young Guns™ are safely locked up in nursing homes, compliments of Obamacare.
I’m all for it . . . God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen! Full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes . . .