The Hack-tacular Dick Morris Makes A Prediction


Dick Morris, for those of you who are blissfully unaware of his existence, is a chronic scab on the scrofulous rump of the American body politic. 

Morris got his start in politics, back in the ‘70s working for Bill Clinton’s Arkansas gubernatorial campaign.  He continued to work with the Clintons, in various capacities—campaign consultant, political strategist—and, finally, as campaign manager during Clinton’s 1996 presidential campaign.

That job came to an abrupt end in August, 1996 when the Washington Post reported that Morris was involved with a DC prostitute, Sherry Rowlands.  Seriously?? So what?  But tabloids went further, alleging that Morris was in the habit of impressing Ms Rowlands by allowing her to “listen in” on his conversations with the President.  That news hit during the Democratic Convention and Dick Morris resigned forthwith delivering a grandiose resignation speech during which he credited himself with helping Clinton “come back from being buried in a landslide” and ended with Morris comparing himself to Robert Kennedy.

Almost simultaneously, Morris launched his revenge-fueled Clinton-bashing cottage industry.  Aided by his publisher wife, Eileen McGann of Harper Collins, Morris has been churning out a steady stream of anti-Clinton yellow journalism for close to 20 years now.  He supplements that enterprise by acting as a political consultant to aspiring leaders of banana republics and theatrically delivering political prognostications so absurdly off the mark that his name has become a punchline among the pundit class.  Indeed, blogger Andrew Sullivan has named an annual award after Morris, given for “stunningly wrong political, social and cultural predictions.”

Here is just a sampling of his greatest hits:

Romney Will Win By A Very Large Margin—A Landslide If You Will.

Republicans Will Win 10 Seats In The Senate In 2012

It’s Very Possible That Obama Won’t Run For Re-Election Because His Numbers Are So Bad.

You get the idea.  This is a man so persistently, moronically wrong and so flagrantly ethically-challenged that even Fox News had to rid themselves of him:

Indeed, Morris’ Fox News career featured a staggering number of ethical problems, with the pundit regularly shilling on-air for various candidates and conservative causes that were paying him money without disclosing the conflict of interest to viewers.

Morris also used his Fox platform to plug his website several hundred times over the course of his contract, to the point where his incessant self-promotion became a punchline for his colleagues. During appearances, he regularly directed viewers to sign up for his mailing list, which he subsequently sold—through conservative outlet Newsmax, which operates the list—to various conservative groups, including the shady super PAC he helped direct.

So.  The guy is riotously wrong, 100% of the time.  Here’s his rating on


And he’s a “sleazy operative,” to boot, according to Baltimore Sun television critic David Zurawik, who once asked, “Is there anybody in the media you can think of who has less of an ethical compass?”

But I prefer to see the glass half-full, because I have discovered that, whatever Dick Morris predicts? the opposite will almost certainly come true.

So you can just imagine that Dick Morris, still sending sporadic dispatches from the outermost edges of the crank-o-sphere, made my week when he came out with this prediction regarding the coming mid-term elections:

Border Crisis Could ‘Wipe Out’ Democrats in Midterms

The flood of undocumented migrants into the United States might become an electoral tsunami that sweeps away Democrats in the November elections, handing control of the Senate to the GOP

And, characteristically, Morris can’t stop with the prediction itself, he just can’t resist harebrained dubious embellishments . . .

Morris also questioned the underlying rationale for the exodus of children who are said to be fleeing drug gang violence in countries such as Honduras, Guatemala, and El Salvador. He called that story a “myth”

“I’ve done a bunch of campaigns in Guatemala, in El Salvador, and in Honduras, and those countries right now are safer than they’ve normally been,” he said. “There’s no civil war going on — there was for 30 or 40 years. There are no death squads. … The idea that these kids are fleeing violence is really irrational.”

“There’s nothing about northern Guatemala that has the north side of Chicago beat: the crime rate, the murder rate, the death rate isn’t all that different,” he said. “There, it’s, ‘Let’s protect our own kids and our own neighborhoods first.’ “

Here’s your “myth,” you silly, silly little man:

In recent years, Latin America has earned the dubious distinction of being the world’s most violent region. The region’s rate of 23 homicides per 100,000 citizens is more than twice the world average, putting Latin America on par with the war-torn countries of Africa.

In the past decade, homicide rates have risen 336 percent in Colombia, 300 percent in Argentina, and 379 percent in Peru; murder is now the leading cause of death in Colombia, El Salvador, Guatemala, and nearly half of Brazil’s 27 states.

And this:

. . . between 2009 and 2012 a civilian was more likely to be killed by violence in Guatemala, Honduras, or El Salvador than killed in Iraq at the height of the insurgency. Data analysis has shown that as the homicide rates go up, so do the number of unaccompanied kids migrating.

Just like children and families fleeing Syria or Iraq or any violence-torn part of the world, children and often their mothers as well as fleeing Central America. There is a humanitarian crisis there that is spilling over across the region, including into the United States.

And this:

The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees recently interviewed 404 children who had arrived in the United States from Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala and Mexico; 58 percent said their primary reason for leaving was violence. (A similar survey in 2006, of Central American children coming into Mexico, found that only 13 percent were fleeing violence.) They aren’t just going to the United States: Less conflicted countries in Central America had a 712 percent increase in asylum claims between 2008 and 2013.

“If a house is burning, people will jump out the window,” says Michelle Brané, director of the migrant rights and justice program at the Women’s Refugee Commission.

This is the first-person, on-the-ground reality of trying to raise a family while living Mr. Morris’ myth:

Just last month, four boys were killed and dismembered in San Pedro Sula, known as the most dangerous city in the world. They were killed because they refused to be drug couriers in their neighborhood. Two of the four were brothers, one age ten the other age six . . .

. . . In the last 18 months we have seen an increase of the gangs using children to distribute drugs in Honduras or to watch for police or others in the barrios of San Salvador and Guatemala City. Children and youth are becoming the foot soldiers of gangs and cartels.

. . . Two weeks ago a mother and her two daughters en route to the United States were picked up and deported from Mexico. They had left El Salvador because the 18th street gang that dominates their neighborhood knocked on the door of their home and informed the mother that her two daughters were now going to be the “Queens,” that is, girlfriends, of the gang members. Desperate- she packed and left that night. Now that she has been deported back to El Salvador, she has no place to go. She can’t go back for fear of retaliation. If she moves to another neighborhood, the gang is likely to find her. She can’t afford housing in places the gangs don’t have presence.

. . . Gangs sometimes employ “join or die” practices in which youth are told that they will be killed if they don’t join. In El Salvador, the Vice Minister of Education was quoted as saying that nearly 200 public schools are controlled by gangs.

. . .  In Comayaguela, Honduras, this February, the 17-year old nephew of a CRS staff member was gunned down outside of his small street stand with his 18-year old friend. They had refused to join the gang and were trying to make a living through a micro-business to help their families make ends meet.

. . .  Mauricio Gaborit, SJ, Dean of the Psychology program at the Jesuit University of El Salvador, uses the following analogy: “Families and young people know that migration is a long, dark dangerous tunnel. But it is a tunnel. Here they live in a cul-de-sac.” That cul-de-sac is not only devoid of educational and economic opportunities but is ever more dangerous because narco-trafficking and gang activities have taken over more and more areas. As one mother from Honduras told us, I would rather my child die trying to find life in the north than die sitting here.

I think you’re way out of your depth, here, Dick.  Why not go write something pithy about Hillary being a transgender serial killer, or something?

Posted by Bette Noir on 07/20/14 at 11:10 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersOur Stupid Media

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I can’t wait for Morris’s appearance on Meet The Press in October of ‘16, when David Gregory, with a look of deep, abiding concern, asks Morris ‘Just how much of a militant lesbian bitch will POTUS Hillary Clinton be?’ 

David Brooks will dissent of course. Not about the main point, but about the use of the word ‘militant’.

I don’t know how he got my email, but he sent me an email asking for donations. I told him that he’d just use it for hookers and to fuck off

@merl Dick isn’t getting any younger so there’s a good chance he’d use it to pay down his
various tax liens

I don’t know what to do to make life in what are now essentially the failed states of central America, but I do know that treating these young refugees like Fox News canon fodder is more wrong than Dick Morris has ever been.  And that is seriously, morally, and soul-lessly wrong.

@SoS agree with you 100%. On the lighter side, “canon fodder” is brilliant!  May I borrow that, [with attribution, of course]some time?

Of course!

Hell hath not fury like a political hack scorned.

Morris is a loathsome, loathsome toad… with apologies to actual toads.

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