The Loon Star State!  Not For Everyone . . .


Just suppose you’re the lucky blogger who is invited to speak at the Texans for Freedom and Liberty “Freedom Rally” at the Cottonwood Creek Baptist Church last Saturday.  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to loosen up the crowd with a little conservative humor [oxymoron alert] before the main event:  The One, The Only, Senator Ted Cruz.

You must find just the right subject matter and tone so that the crowd will be ready for The Really, Really Serious Message to be delivered straight from the lips of The Anointed One.

Here’s what Bill Whittle came up with:

“You will see a lot of cars coming west heading east on Interstate 10, and they’re going to have California license plates on them,” Whittle said, as the crowd begins to laugh. “Now, if you see these cars pull into rest areas or hotels or restaurants, that’s fine; wave goodbye, make sure they go out on the Louisiana end.”

“But if you see them pull off into residential areas, you need to open fire on these vehicles immediately,” Whittle said, as the crowd laughs appreciatively and applauds loudly. “Immediately. Not with 9mm or AR rounds; you need to put mortars on those things, you cannot take any chances.”

And, just in case anyone found that advice a little scary:

“What’s the worst that could happen to you?” Whittle said. “I mean, honestly, this is Texas, right? You’ll stand in front of a Texas judge, (and) he’ll say, ‘Did you shoot up that car full of Californians?’ You’ll say yes, he’ll say why. You’ll say, ‘Well, your honor, they needed killing.’ And he’ll say, ‘We’ll strike a medal in your honor,’ and off you go.”


I know, I know, Texas . . .

And, already there are Right-facing pundits whining about liberals’ humorlessness and melodrama for taking exception to jokes about shooting people you don’t like.

As Tom Tillison comments in BizPac Review:

A joke about shooting Californians made by conservative blogger and political commentator Bill Whittle has liberals all in a lather.

Singing from the same hymnal, liberal websites Raw Story and Talking Points Memo posted ominous headlines tying the event to Cruz, and both mentioned him in the first sentence.

A writer at the far-left Daily Kos even goes so far as to suggest that Whittle is advocating for mass murder. Oh, the horror!

Well, Tom, first of all “tying the event to Cruz” isn’t so far-fetched since he was the main event.  As to the far-left Daily Kos writer suggesting that Whittle is advocating for mass murder, here’s the far-Left stuff he actually said:

What is it with these wingnuts and their love of violent imagery. Whether they are being tongue-in-cheek about a given matter or seriously discussing an issue, the notion that shooting and killing people who they disagree with politically is always present. And it’s always great for a laugh.

That’s actually pretty accurate and easily documented.  Why, just this same weekend, on Fox Business News [business news, fer cripes sake] some looney-tunes guest named McGuirk shared his opinion that the satanists erecting a statue in Oklahoma, exercising their right to freedom of religion, I might add, should be shot:

They should be able to put the statue up, and then they should be shot right next to it, and then we take it down.

The most amazing thing about this event in Texas to me, actually, was that while Whittle joked about killing Californians and got a guffawing, knee-slapping response, for some reason, when the really funny part of the show took place? not even a titter could be heard.

See what you think about some of The Anointed One’s one-liners:

” . . . liberty is never safer than when politicians are terrified.”

“Liberty is under assault … in this country like never before.  We have a president [who seems as though he] is going down the Bill of Rights trying to violate them one at a time.”

Cruz said that among Democratic leaders in Washington, D.C., he sees a “consistent pattern of lawlessness, the contempt for rule of law.”

What’s the matter with those people? that’s comedy gold.

How come nobody laughed at “contempt for the rule of law” in Washington when contempt for the rule of law in Texas was a laugh riot?

“What’s the worst that could happen to you?” Whittle said. “I mean, honestly, this is Texas, right? You’ll stand in front of a Texas judge, (and) he’ll say, ‘Did you shoot up that car full of Californians?’ You’ll say yes, he’ll say why. You’ll say, ‘Well, your honor, they needed killing.’ And he’ll say, ‘We’ll strike a medal in your honor,’ and off you go.”

I guess Texans just don’t get it . . .

Posted by Bette Noir on 01/14/14 at 01:10 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

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I guess this is just me, but did the comedian ever consider the “carful of Californians” might have, I dunno, James Woods, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, and Jon Voigt in it? In a state that has a majority of registered Dems, it’s still within the realm of probability that if Cletus is gunning for a Nancy Pelosi fan, he might just accidentally bag Clint Eastwood. And that, punk, wouldn’t make anyone’s day (although I’ve made sport of his capricious turn at the 2012 convention, Gran Torino is like, one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time). Although I don’t exactly understand why, surely someone is voting for Darrell Issa.

This is the kind of regional stereotype that kind of steams me. When people put down folks in a red state like Texas or WV, I think of people who stand out as blue islands in a red sea. I’m sure they don’t appreciate that kind of generalization. Which is why I think it’s not just violent/dumb, but violent/inaccurate. When you hate on all the “others”, you might just smother your brothers.

Really, if someone has to try and make a funny on hate, can they try to, like, hate with more specificity? You know, so we get just what kind of jerk they really are? (Whittle and Cruz might just be jerks for all seasons, though.)

This ia why I always laugh at my friends in the GOP out here who complain about living on the Left Coast, I have no pity for them whatsoever. I’ve always said, it’s a fuck of a lot easier to be a Republican in California than it is a Democrat in Texas, & I should know what I’m talking about because my Dad lives in Lubbock, where that crazy asshole Tom Head lives. You know the one, who said that he’d stand in front of the U.N. tanks that Obama sent to take over the town, & such shit. You wouldn’t believe some of the crazy shit my parents tell me about the local wingnuts antics.

These guys won’t be happy until they each get a chance to live out their “Wolverines!” fantasy, with liberals taking the place of the evil they must extinguish.  No matter what they think, they’ll never win en mass against the US military or even our inappropriately militarized police departments, but plenty of innocent people are going to be harmed by this increasing level of crazy.

They always throw about this violent, usually sexualized, rhetoric. Violence is their “default setting”, then when a Gabby Giffords or a George Tiller gets shot, they claim they didn’t mean to be taken literally.

I don’t think Gov Perry’s campaign to get California businesses to relocate to Texas has been successful, but I know damn well that this sort of “joke” would have people reconsidering such a move.

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