Wow. And after he spent all that money on hard-guy dude-drag just so he could spend some quality “trail time” alone with Scott Davis. Damn.

she’s managed to divide the Republican party, she’s managed to divide Todd from his winnin’ ways….Sarah Palin’s divisiveness is the only thing about her that just doesn’t quit!

“Quittin’ mittens” is filled with nutritious Win.

I so want these people to just. Go. Away.

It’s sad to see the Palins fail so often and so publicly—but I’m glad that someone has finally replaced the Osbournes as America’s most fucked-up family.

@trollhattan: I think you’re on to something:

If the Palins have another baby, they can call it “Quits”...because six is plenty.

An injury to Scott Davis of Soldotna, the most experienced driver in the 27th Iron Dog snowmachine race…

Do Alaskans call cars automachines?

It was a bitter disappointment for Todd, who hasn’t had many opportunities to ride another man’s snow machine since they stopped campaigning with John and Cindy.

That would be “pavementmachine,” de stijl.

Other Alaskanisms:

Portable library = Bookmachine
Red Cross truck = Bloodmachine
AT&T cell phone = T-Machine
Redneck Riviera = Machine, Alabama

@ de stijl:

Calder sculpture = Stachine

And on a tragically related note, an Alaskan was seriously frostbitten in an incident at the Olympics when he tried to mount one of the snow machines just as they were putting the finishing touches on the giant slolom run.

My guess is that Sarah called him on the sat phone and told him to get his ass home because she had a speaking engagement somewhere and someone needs to watch the kids.

That’s my guess.

Ripley, that would presume that the kids aren’t already accustomed to fending for themselves for days, even weeks at a time. 

Being raised by a mama grizzly sucks when you’re a human child.  For one thing, she doesn’t appear to value formal education, and she has a tendency to use her offspring as defensive shields against natural enemies.

Allan, that’s a significant distinction: in the wild, a mama grizzly doesn’t drag her cubs toward the hunter, growling, “See that nasty man? He’s aiming at you! Tell him what you think of him aiming at you! Go on!

“BROKEN PARTS”

Dude, you’ve just given me the title for my planned blistering post-mortem on her spectacularly failed 2012 Presidential run.

Thank you!

Shorter Sarah Palin: I thought Todd’s teammate was a little bitty moose. Whoopsie!

Riding mostly on dirt, the pair’s Polaris IQ Shift 600 snowmobiles kept overheating. Every five minutes or so, they would have to stop and gather some snow to pack over the engine to cool it before they could proceed.

Hey Sarah and Todd - How’s that climate change-denyin’ thing workin’ out for ya?