The Orliad and the Idiocy

the Maid of Orlynutz

Orly is our Joan of Arc—Maertin Pinsky

Normally, if you can even say normally in any sentence proximate to Orly Taitz’s loyal follower Maertin Pinsky, you’d say he is a few cartridges short of a magazine. This, for example, is your average Maertin Pinsky:

The Military govenor will be a patriot and will in time return–after order is restored, government to civilian control where safeguards wil be built in NEVER to allow Boeskys, Millens, Rutkowskis. Madoffs etc, to rise and emerge as virtual dictators in their specialties. The punishment is execution for screwing over innocent hard working people expecting the best in treatment and trust.
Enough is enough–
A CALL TO ARMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......

The cockroached are in the walls of governmnet at all levels of corruption and the RAID spray will reach them.


Yes, Maertin’s cure for preventing virtual dictators is to install actual dictators. Just as soon as you-know-who is proven not to be the duly elected executive, but

that usurper bastard now in office–hopefully not for long.

Maertin’s plans are heroic; in fact, they transcend the mortal realm:


Arrested as well are leaders of Goldman Sachs, Paulison Jr. Raines, Johnson, and suimmarilly executed: Sol Alinsky and BillAYERS.


But Maertin clapped the title of Saint Joan on Dentist/Lawyer (the latter legal in the overgenerous state of California only) Orly Taitz quite sensibly, as long as you remember that Orlymatter is always negatively charged.

Instead of trying to crown the rightful leader of the people, she’s trying to unseat him. Instead of abjuring female accoutrements, she is so permeated with them that her veins must run with peroxide and her brain be coated in carnauba wax. Instead of penury, she has Paypal (or had; she also has Paranoia, so now she demands that her followers mail her money directly). And she’s a mother of three, so we needn’t inquire further on the Maiden front.

Still, she shares a few traits with the Maid of Orleans: grandiosity, implacability, and a bowl-shaped hairdo, though with Joan it was more of a cereal bowl and Orly’s is more of a punch bowl.

She also serves for inspiration amongst the foot soldiers:

But, wait! What is that thunderous sound?
So very loud, it shakes the ground.


Could it be millions upon millions of Patriots’ feet?
That is marching, ever marching to Liberty’s drumbeat.
Now, the good men will no longer ignore.
The oath of allegiance that they did swore.
Our Constitution is the key to restore
To the erosion of Freedom WE say. “No more!”
—-Kim American


Orly also has a Pretender to her throne, or Pyre: one Philip J. Berg, the 911 Truther, who some time ago got himself a law degree in person, and spent the last twenty years making his professors blush for having passed him.

Whereas these two once worked harmoniously together in the cause of trying to reverse the will of the people, it’s not usual that two lyric sopranos occupy the same production, and the same goes for birth-certificate conspiracy theorist shysters. So Orly, having run afoul of Berg by spamming his assistant’s social security number to her entire database of credulous nitwit supporters, found herself the subject of a lawsuit :

NOW COMES, Lisa Liberi, Philip J. Berg, Esquire, the Law Offices of Philip J. Berg, Evelyn Adams aka MommaA, Lisa M. Ostella and Go Excel Global, Plaintiffs by and through the undersigned counsel and brings this Complaint seeking injunctive relief and damages against the Defendants, Orly Taitz aka Dr. Orly Taitz aka Law Offices of Orly Taitz…...

Birfernecine Worlyberg

Orly is the one lawyer who could find Philip Berg ‘s suit beyond her skills to rebut. While not exactly equivalent to being captured by the English, that might take the ginger out of her for a while. But her powers of denial, evasion, and taste for posing as a martyr keep her humming along at her usual frenetic madwoman’s pace.

On her site, she’s asking for a Pennsylvania attorney, not to help her with Berg’s suit, exactly, but:

I am looking for a name of a Pennsylvania attorney, licensed in Federal court in Philadelphia, who specializes in issues of parties defrauding non-profit organizations, SS and IRS fraud, defamation, cyber crimes, theft via the Internet.

An attorney of subtlety and artfulness, Orly must be faking left before jabbing right. Either that, or she’s not just telegraphing her next punch, she’s putting it up on the Jumbotron.

Not only do ammo-happy insurrectionists get to unite under Orly’s fraying banner, but her site is useful as an aggregator for all kinds of off-road ludicrousness, where commenters fulminate against traffic circles, mouth-breathe about Fema camps, and sell snake-oil to each other, such as colloidal silver.


This last, colloidal silver, contains not only the usual dose of stupid, but is actually dangerous, and if ingested in any quantity can cause disfigurement, by turning the user a permanent, pronounced, deathly-looking gray. There is no known safe quantity; everyone’s metabolism is different, so the only way to tell if you have a problem is when you have a problem, and then you have a giant problem.

It’s tempting to let Orly’s legions labor on in their belief that swine flu can be warded off with a few ampules of shiny quackery; once they turned themselves gray, they’d be easy to pick out of a crowd, if only to avoid. But since they might dose innocents like their children with it, we find it necessary to emphasize, for everybody:

Don’t eat silver. Don’t drink silver. Don’t nibble on tea-trays, don’t suck on repoussé serving spoons, don’t do it.

orly silvertaitz
Unless you want to match your suit of armour.

If you want to ingest something unproven, inefficacious, unpleasant, and expensive, take Super Blue-green Algae instead. At the very worst, you might turn a lovely shade of turquoise. Then you could pose as a mermaid, and wear seaweed in your hair.



Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/14/09 at 05:35 AM • Permalink

Categories: I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What I LikeMessylaneousPoliticsBedwettersNuttersSkull Hampers

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What new words of praise can I heap upon thee Mrs. Polly? Bloody hell, this is awesome. The cockroach guillotine and the soldiers armed in kitchenware made me laugh so hard I gave myself a coffee-nasal wash.

Then I saw the sprinkler. And the little teeth. And Argentum non est delicious. I think I’ve got coffee in my ears.

What HTP said! Muy fabuloso!



Thanks as always Mrs. Polly for another illustrated installment of the Orliad! 

Orly’s world…what a place…its like having a trailer park online version of “Second Life” for the mentally unwell.

Holy smokes, Mrs. P, this is awesome. I dub thee Ralph Stead-Woman.

I’ve never checked out Snarkopolitan; I’d feel guilty about missing out for so long, but the beauty part is I’m currently wasted on pain pills (doctor’s orders!), so Mrs. Polly’s site looks to be my entertainment for the day. I’ll report back and let everyone know how her stuff fares as 3-D animation.

(Kevin, I assume you’ll know what I’m referring to when I say—-and I don’t wanna bust up the formatting so you’ll have to imagine this in the 80-jillion-point font in which it belongs—-NEVER MIND.)


Mrs. P.,

With each installment I tell myself:  “This is the absolute best. There is no way she can top this one.”

Yet, here you’ve done it again. 


Wow, this was so much fun!  Everything HTP said plus the soldier holding up the teabags standard.  You didn’t miss a thing and totally conveyed the utter looniness of that group once again.

Thanks, everyone, I know it was a longer wait than usual, but Orly keeps three steps ahead of the law and five steps ahead of me. Even now, I know she’s doing something aesthetically gorgeous and screamingly funny, because she has the strength of the Mad.

Phil Berg came out looking like he’s a hive of bees turned inside out, or else one of those upsetting mohair fetishists, but I think he could be both IRL.

Don’t forget the mouseovers! Also. Ever since YAFB told me about them, I’ve done my best to utilize them.

Now I have performance anxiety about my next Orliad. I’ll just have to trust to Orly to make it come out right.

Mrs. Polly

I know you must be swamped with suitors, but please, marry me. You are wonderful. That great post is a winner, a double win.

I await your acceptance,

What a wonderful way to start a day. The teabag standard is precious.

You da bomb.

(Applaud!)  Good job!

What everyone else has said. That Alinsky thing is particularly hilarious. Golly, I wonder why no one is taking them seriously?

Thanks Mrs. Polly. I needed that. When you read enough birther twaddle, you can start getting squirrely yourself. I have sworn off reading any more of the birther stuff.  I thought of a good title for Orly: Regina Barathri. (Queen of the Abyss).

A heartbreaking work of staggering genius.

Btw, I note that Wikipedia’s article on the Birthers doesn’t include any mention of Gospazha Taitz.  She’ll be heartbroken.

I’m pretty sure Orly hears voices as well.

This is stunning in its wonderfulness!  I am so happy the birfer movement has it own political cartoonist!

I love, love, love this latest installment! This is just what I needed after a week from hell!

Thank-you, Mrs. Polly!

Back off Pete, I saw her first.

Come by and skewer wingnuts daily.


Ms Polly, remind me never to get on your bad side.

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