The Outback Steakhouse 2010 Florida Governor’s Race

This race features possibly the smarmiest pair of douchebags who ever contended for elected office. Honest to god—not even Gandhi could have looked at these two without an overwhelming urge to give ‘em five in the snot-locker:

And that’s before they even open their pieholes! 

In this corner, we have Rick Scott, former Columbia/HCA scam artist whose company paid a record fine for bilking Medicare. In a state battling 14% unemployment, plummeting property values and an infestation of giant, indestructible flying cockroaches, Scott focuses on the possible construction of a not-mosque at not-Ground Zero in a city 800+ miles from the Florida border:

In the other corner is Bill McCollum, who paid George “Rentboy.com” Rekers more than $100K in taxpayer money to testify in court that gay couples are too depraved to adopt children. Even from the state’s Dickensian child protective services agency:

So who will win—the fear-mongering Medicare fraudster or the other bigot—the one who used taxpayer funds to underwrite a Rentboy.com luggage handler for an epic closet case? We’ll find out next week! And these giant, leaky douchebags will finally be off my teevee, at least as a tag team.

[H/T to novelist Tim Dorsey for imagining corporate-sponsored elections. Hell, they might as well!]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/17/10 at 07:56 AM • Permalink

I love Sink’s new ad. What are her chances in the general? I’d hate to think either SCott or McCollum would win.

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