The Reason Republicans Will Never Have Nice Things Again

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Well.  We’ve had three days to absorb the messages and lessons of the 2012 Election—some of us (in fact, a majority of us) are vindicated; others are nursing exploded heads. I give the “exploding heads” crowd generally forty-eight hours to get their shit together and rejoin the human race.  Usually that’s enough, with football and weekend activities for a distraction.  [I’m willing to grant one tiny subset of the EHs a few days extra—namely, Team Romney—because (Mean Mitt) they had their credit cards cut off before they could get a taxi home or even buy a post-election beer to cry in.]

Anyone old enough to have lived through eight or more US presidential election cycles could pretty accurately guess what a Republican reaction to an Obama re-election would look, smell and sound like, because the same geniuses that came up with supply-side economics, trickle-down theory and preventive war are still calling the shots and winding up the rusty old clockworks that make the GOP tick.  For better or worse, those good old boys appear to be more long-lived than their base which is dying off in droves, these days. 

Even the gang at The American Conservative, not famous for their funny bones, posted up a number of humorous pre-election predictions of the GOP’s likely reaction to an Obama win.  Those “serious conservatives” were not taken in by Unskewed Polls or gut feelings that Republican electoral exuberance would usher in the Age of Romney.  The TACs consider themselves “true political conservatives,” Burkean conservatives, not to be mistaken for “movement conservatives.”  They suspected that Romney would not win the election for a number of thoughtful and well-articulated reasons.  And they were pretty much right on the money.  So perhaps the GOP establishment might want to reconnect with them sometime soon.

And the Old Guard Republicans have not let us down.  From Karl Rove’s apoplectic meltdown on Fox News’ Election night coverage to hating-for-dollars Rush Limbaugh’s insight that:

It’s just very difficult to beat Santa Claus.  People are not going to vote against Santa Claus, especially if the alternative is being your own Santa Claus.  He continued that Obama supporters “think the Democrat Party’s gonna punish the people who have unfairly gotten stuff that they shouldn’t have. They got more stuff than other people have stuff and that stuff’s gotta be redistributed.

And let’s not forget The Donald’s twittermanic call to arms for the “torches and pitchforks crowd” . . .

But the hands down winner of this year’s GOP Exploding Head has to be Old Guardian Mary Matalin’s on-air tantrum bound to become a classic.

On the same day, Matalin, who was on a right tear, described President Obama as a “political narcissistic sociopath [who] leveraged fear and ignorance with a campaign marked by mendacity and malice rather than a mandate for resurgence and reform.”

Poetic, Mary . . .

The Republican Party is overdue for an Extreme Makeover but no one will really be surprised if they opt for extinction, instead.

What I find truly interesting is that there does not appear to be any moderating influence in the younger generation of Republicans who, if anything, seem to be far more extreme than the current crop.  Here are three examples that I find pretty spectacular:

This 22-year-old California woman voiced her opposition to the Obama win by posting this little doozy to her FaceBook page:

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It went viral, she was fired from her job of whipping up Custom Creations at Cold Stone Creamery and, when interviewed by local news, explained that she is not racist . . .


Someone really, really needs to press these airheads on their definition of racism.  How clueless does one have to be to think that calling a black man the N-word and suggesting it would be best if he were assassinated, soon, is not racist?

The next “young gun” is a smart young fellow—29-year-old Michael Needham who is the CEO of Heritage Action for America PAC, a money raising policy advocacy arm of the Heritage Foundation.  The video below is Needham’s creative rallying cry for young Republicans to right the imponderable wrong of Mitt Romney’s loss.  It’s hard to imagine how a 29-year-old, living in the 21st century, could ever believe that images of Reagan, past wars, and the rhetoric of despair are the way to go to energize his generation.  Watching this ad, something tells me that somewhere in the halls of Valhalla, old school Soviet propagandists are hoisting their vodka and shouting Nostrovia to applaud their young acolyte. 

Enjoy:

For a chickenhawk, Needham appears to project a pretty martial affect . . .

Last, but not least, I give you Eric Dondero who is the Mary Matalin of his generation.  Dondero was, at one time a travel aide for Ron Paul, until Paul pissed Dondero off by waffling over voting for the invasion of Iraq.  At that point, Dondero switched to trashing Paul (along with a few others whose opinions he disagrees with).  Dondero then focused his considerable talents on blogging, writing something called the Libertarian Republican.  Romney’s electoral loss has persuaded him to drop that endeavor, however, for his new personal crusade, as outlined in his (promised) final post to Libertarian Republican (this is long-ish but you really must read the whole spittle-flecked manifesto):

Secondly, today starts a new course for my life. I’ve soured on electoral politics given what happened last night. I believe now the best course of action is outright revolt. What do I mean by that?

Well, to each his own. Some may choose to push secession in their state legislatures. Others may choose to leave the U.S. for good (Costa Rica, Switzerland, Italy, Argentina, Hong Kong, Israel). Still others may want to personally separate themselves from the United States here in North America while still living under communist rule’ the Glenn Beck, grab your guns, food storage, build bunkers, survivalist route. I heartily endorse all these efforts.

Express your hatred, shame, and outright disgust with anyone you know who voted Democrat

However, for me, I’m choosing another rather unique path; a personal boycott, if you will. Starting early this morning, I am going to un-friend every single individual on Facebook who voted for Obama, or I even suspect may have Democrat leanings. I will do the same in person. All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Democrats are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.

I strongly urge all other libertarians to do the same. Are you married to someone who voted for Obama, have a girlfriend who voted ‘O’. Divorce them. Break up with them without haste. Vow not to attend family functions, Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas for example, if there will be any family members in attendance who are Democrats.

Do you work for someone who voted for Obama? Quit your job. Co-workers who voted for Obama. Simply don’t talk to them in the workplace, unless your boss instructs you too for work-related only purposes. Have clients who voted Democrat? Call them up this morning and tell them to take their business elsewhere.

Have a neighbor who votes for Obama? You could take a crap on their lawn. Then again, probably not a good idea since it would be technically illegal to do this. But you could have your dog take care of business. Not your fault if he just happens to choose that particular spot.

And start your boycott of your Democrat friends and family today. Like this morning. First thing you can do, very easy, is to un-friend all Democrats from your Facebook account.

Boycott Business who accept Welfare payments

Thirdly, I believe we all need to express disgust with Obama and Democrats in public places. To some extent I already do this. Example:

When I’m at the Wal-mart or grocery story I typically pay with my debit card. On the pad it comes up, “EBT, Debit, Credit, Cash.” I make it a point to say loudly to the check-out clerk, “EBT, what is that for?” She inevitably says, “it’s government assistance.” I respond, “Oh, you mean welfare? Great. I work for a living. I’m paying for my food with my own hard-earned dollars. And other people get their food for free.” And I look around with disgust, making sure others in line have heard me.

I am going to step this up. I am going to do far more of this in my life. It’s going to be my personal crusade. I hope other libertarians and conservatives will eventually join me.

What I plan to do this week, is to get yard signs made up, at my own expense, that read, “EBT is for Welfare Moochers.” I will put the signs out on public property off of the right-of-way so it’s entirely legal, in front of every convenience store or grocery store that has a sign out saying “EBT Accepted Here.” I may even do some sign waving in front of these stores, holding up my “EBT is for Welfare Moochers,” sign, and waving to passers-by.

If I meet a Democrat in my life from here on out, I will shun them immediately. I will spit on the ground in front of them, being careful not to spit in their general direction so that they can’t charge me with some stupid little nuisance law. Then I’ll tell them in no un-certain terms: “I do not associate with Democrats. You all are communist pigs, and I have nothing but utter disgust for you. Sir/Madam, you are scum of the earth.” Then I’ll turn and walk the other way.

Buttons. Boy, you can have a lot of fun with this. I plan to make up a bunch of buttons, and wear them around town, sayings like “Democrats are Communist Pigs,” or “Welfare moochers steal from hard-working Americans,” “Only Nazis support Seat Belt laws” or “No Smoking Ban: Nanny-Staters go Fuck Yourselves.”

There are so many other nasty little things I plan to do against the communists and those who support them. Perhaps I’ll keep Jim informed and he can report on my activities here at LR.

For now, off to my first assignment: Telling all my friends and family who voted for Obama to “fuck off, don’t ever speak to me again you slimeball mother fuckers.” Wish me luck!

Wow! someone misplaced his “big boy pants!  Whatever happened to accepting and respecting the basic rights and civil liberties of persons whose viewpoints are different from one’s own?

All citizens, including political leaders, have a responsibility to practice political tolerance not only in word but also in action.  Political tolerance is a key principle of democracy.  Democratic life is both the right to differ and the acceptance of such difference by all.

Those words were written by Saa Matthias Bendu & Habib T Kamara, two young men who live in Sierra Leone and are passionate about fighting for democracy in their land and put modern American political values to shame.

As Elon James White put it a few days ago on The Root:

The Republican Party can’t imagine a world in which they might be wrong. It’s why they love to talk about America and taking it back. It’s why they have no problem calling those who disagree with their ideology un-American. They believe the rest of us are twisted, idiotic moochers who seek only to destroy their society—as if they own the very fabric that is America. They will cry, yell and place blame any and everywhere else they can.

However, America isn’t being taken away or destroyed. America is doing what America is supposed to do: reflect the beliefs of its population. And America’s population has a lot of pesky people of color, gays and women who all have a say in how things work.

Problematic, I know.

Posted by Bette Noir on 11/11/12 at 08:06 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '12MittensNuttersOur Stupid Media

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Libertarian Republican is going to be one lonely subhuman. How does a person decide to wreck relations with family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers over election results? How does a person decide to invest so much of his personal identity into his political identity?

Meh. Apparently, pretty much all the libertarians who’ve known Mr. Libertarian Republican haven’t wanted anything to do with him for a while because he’s such an arse.

Wow, Eric!  First of all, he’s going to be lonely and secondly, watching him piss his pants the first time he is confronted by a young mother who needs help with feeding her children would be entertaining.  I would love to be behind this asshole in line at the Wal-mart or grocery store (wait, aren’t they the same for him?) when he goes off on his rant.  There could be group mob action at a Walmart.  He’s definitely outnumbered there.  I wonder where he will spend all of his not-money (dude is probably not employable after that epic cry for help rant) since he’s against every establishment that accepts EBT.

Diviisive and diVY-sive and dismissive and derisive…

When did Mary Matalin become a rapper?  Or is it all part of the mental dysfunction that prompts her to call Obama deceptive but Romney “a gentleman”?

I’m amazed at people in Van Jones’ position, arguing against that harridan in real time, don’t just tell her to fuck off and come back when she’s ready to say a single true thing.

Matalin looks mad enough to boil bunnies! I’d feel sorry for that angry fetus she’s married to if he deserved my pity. Which he doesn’t.

Someone needs a diaper change.

When did Mary Matalin become a rapper?

It was weird. She got interrupted and lost her thread a couple of times, then regrouped and repeated the same string of bilge buzzwords and insults more or less verbatim.

I can picture the scene in the Matalin/Carville household:

“Mary!!! Are ya gonna be much longah in theah? Ah’m dyin’ fer a dump out heah!”

“A few more minutes, Jim. I’ve got a tirade to practice.”

“Ferget it. Ah’ll just go crap on the neighbor’s lawn agin.”

What I really want to say to CNN is, “See, this is why I never watch you any more.  Who cares, at this late date, what Mary Matalin thinks?  She is an official spokes-hag for a political organization that has been completely discredited and a political worldview that was stale ten years ago.  She’s as relevant as Ari Fleischer or Pat (and/or Bay) Buchanan.  Keep having her and her peers on, and keep losing viewers.”

Same thing with the rest of them—Will, Krauthammer, Noonan.  Old Timers’ Day is a fun conceit once a year.  You’re not going to show up for it for an entire season.

Matalin and Carville used to be cute in an “Aw look, there’s someone out there for everybody” kind of way, but as she sticks by a party as morally devoid as the GOP, I start to wonder—“Is Carville sticking by her because an evil troll king put her under a curse where she has to spin bullshit into goldplated bullshit for fifty years to get her stolen firstborn back, or something?”  And then I wonder if the whole Village is under the same spell. And then I think we’re living in an M Night Shamalyan movie. Then I get depressed.

Vixen, I think you have it reversed.  Carville is sticking with her either because he is cursed, or because, in his own twisted way, he likes sticking it to the Republican establishment.

@Pharmakeus Ubik i think you got it in one!  Dont get depressed, Vixen—get even.

Some party hack decreed that the people
had lost the GOP’s confidence
and could only regain it with redoubled effort.

If that is the case, would it not be be simpler,
If the GOP simply dissolved the people
And elected another?

“I’m not racist!”  That’s always their cry, isn’t it?

“OK, I called the president the n-word on my FB page / hanged him in effigy on my lawn / emailed everyone I know a picture of him with a bone through his nose.”

“But racist?  Me?  I’m not racist!”

“Ferget it. Ah’ll just go crap on the neighbor’s lawn agin.”

Obviously a disciple of Eric Dondero.

Honestly, that Dondero piece is so fully of nutty goodness.  The buttons!  The lawn signs!!  Holding up the line at WalMart!!!  Why not mumble to yourself all the time, wear the same clothes every day and shout at passersby, Eric?  That’ll really impress people.

Y’know, Eric, the cashiers at your local stores will start recognizing you soon.  Be prepared for a rash of “This checkout is closed” signs being slammed down when they see you in line.

Of course, good ole Eric managed to stay off the website for all of two days, leading to this great post:

“And Mr. Dondero: you completely undermine your glorious flouncing exit if you creep back in and shake jazz hands at us. When you ragequit, it has to be permanent.”

I was gonna link to the post, but Eric seems to thinnew readers agreeing with him….

wow, completely horked that last line.

Eric seems to think all his increased blog traffic is from new readers agreeing with him…

It was weird. She got interrupted and lost her thread a couple of times, then regrouped and repeated the same string of bilge buzzwords and insults more or less verbatim.

That, combined with the high flush on her cheekbones, made me wonder how many vodkas she’d had while she was waiting to go on.  Does anyone really care what she thinks anymore (assuming they ever did)?

Hey Mary,

Halloween is over.  Take off that Nancy Reagan™ costume.

Dondero can’t go to walmart—too many employees eligible for SNAP.

“I don’t care what you think, Van.”

Classy. Why not just go with, “Quiet, boy!”

“I don’t care what you think, Van”...

Aw, she’s just nostalgically associating herself with Geo. W. Bush. Remember the truly spectacularly classic incident with the ordinary fella at a 2004 Bush rally on the handshaking line? Shrub comes along, grinning and shaking hands, the fella opines politely that the Prez has disappointed him with his policy choices, Prez says, “Who cares what you think?”
Fella notes this sally down in a little notebook, which Prez notices as he moves up the line, and calls back to the fella, “Who are you with?”

Who wouldn’t want to bask in the warmth of those remembered days, now that the SocialistIslamist takeover has been accomplished?

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