The Republican Fox Forum in Manchester, NH: A Review

Republican presidential candidates former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee (front L) and U.S. Senator John McCain (front R) listen to former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney (front C) as he makes a point during the Fox News Presidential Forum at Saint Anselm College in Manchester, New Hampshire January 6, 2008. Actor and “Huckappendage” Chuck Norris (rear) pointed a semi-automatic weapon at Romney’s head for most of the forum.

Here’s a performance review of the five Republican participants in tonight’s Fox News Presidential Forum:

RUDOLPH GIULIANI: He started the evening off by tearing a Muslim baby in half with his bare hands, climbing up on the table and taking a dump on the Koran while his foreign policy expert Norman Podhoretz drew a pentagram on the studio floor using the child’s blood.  Later Giulaini vigorously defended charges that New York was a sanctuary city during his tenure as mayor while he applied mascara and poured himself into a Vera Wang evening gown.  He finished the evening by saying, “September 11th to me is the essence of why September 11th is and always will be September 11th and not anything else but September 11th, which occurred on September 11th and not on any other day but September 11th regardless of those people who want us to forget what happened on September 11th because it did happen on September 11th and that is why September 11th must be remembered for what it is ... September 11th. And to conclude, September 11th.”

FRED THOMPSON: He spent most of the evening consumed with the tasks of eating steaming bowls of cream of wheat and bottling his own farts, occasionally breaking in to utter things like, “Mandate mumble mumble ACLU mumble mumble border security mumble mumble islamofascism mumble mumble fart jar.” By the end of the forum he had curled up on the floor with his pants around his ankles and fallen fast asleep.

MIKE HUCKABEE: Following moderator Chris Wallace’s initial question regarding Huckabee referring to George Bush’s “arrogance and bunker mentality,” Huckabee pulled out his bass guitar and began playing Chicago’s “25 or 6 to 4.”  When Wallace protested Chuck Norris walked over to the moderator and punched him in the throat, causing the broadcast to be delayed for several minutes.  Wallace’s toughest question directed at Huckabee for the rest of the forum was “What is your favorite ice cream flavor?” to which Huckabee replied, “Sanctity of life.”

MITT ROMNEY: Visibly shaken by having Chuck Norris point a semi-automatic weapon at his head during the entire forum, Romney just prattled on about sports for most of the evening, saying things like “If Willie Mays hadn’t stayed with the American Basketball Association after winning the Stanley Cup, Billie Jean King would have gone on to dominate the Cy Young Award. And, ummmm, pole vault.” At the end of the evening all of the candidates except for Thompson, who was asleep under the table, beat Romney to a bloody pulp just because they all think he’s a douchebag.

JOHN MCCAIN: Relishing his current front-runner status in the New Hampshire race, McCain just kept barking out the word “maverick” and spinning around in his chair during the beginning of the forum. At one point when Wallace asked him if he still stood behind the McCain-Feingold act, McCain grew agitated, ran out of the studio, headbutted a female production assistant and started wildly fucking a Coke machine. He then sprinted outside and tried to half-nelson a Prius for twenty minutes. After he gave up, he returned to the studio, poked his head in the door and yelped, “Maverick!”

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/07/08 at 12:48 AM • Permalink
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Categories: PoliticsElection '08Giuliani is a JerkThe Late Slight HopePolisnark

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That right there was some funny funny shit. The sanctity of life line killed me and I’m never going to look at Thompson or McCain the same way again.

If that picture was bigger it would be my wallpaper now.  Well done!

That McCain bit killed… “poked his head in the door and yelped...”  heh!

Thanks, guys.

Stand or Fall 3-09-08
Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217
  Does the U.S. stand or fall as a nation where the government is of the people for the people.  The News media refuses to print the un-edited opinion of the people.  I do not hesitate to give you my name, address and phone number on every letter that I write.  I do not hesitate to clearly state as I have in court documents that Judge Peter Fauver violated the law and Constitution to intentionally harm U.S. citizens.  This judge is a criminal that the NH Supreme Court and government over looks for what ever reason.  Government is here to serve the people.  The NH government and Veterans Administration has inflicted pain and suffering on a service connected 100% disabled Veteran to protect this judge.  This is a crime.  The news media refuses to inform it’s readers.  This is a slap in the face to the United States of America.  To censor the public from the truth is the most outrageous ethical crime ever committed.  I have violated no laws.  What I have done is volunteer to help people that I do not even know that are in need, every day since I came back in 74.  I help anyone and every one that I see in need.  I stand for the people of the United States of America. 
  The news media believes not printing my letters is doing the people a favor.  My letters are printed on the web, blogs and many other places.  The News media and newspapers are the only ones not printing them.  I see that Judge Fauver gets a copy.  Judge Fauver may be mad but the truth is even above Fauver’s control. The news media’s claim that my letters are libelous is an excuse with out merit.  To stop a disabled veteran’s medical care, or for Fauver to use the sheriff’s office to harass me will not change the truth.  This Madbury NH family that Fauver made an 11 grade drop out an attorney to represent (me) will not stop volunteer helping this family because this family is everyone of you (U.S. citizens).  The people of the United States of America must be informed that NH and the VA is violating the law and human rights to inflict harm on a 100% disabled Veteran that’s only crime is volunteer helping others.  The opinion of the people was so important that our founding fathers gave the news media constitutional protection.  Does any news media have the ethical responsibility to print a letter written by some one whom gave his life for the United States of America.  Our children join our military to protect your freedom.  The people back here must help this nation stand because by allowing people like Judge Peter Fauver to destroy others lives with out speaking up will make this nation fall.
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi

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