The third part of a trilogy’s always the best one

previous entries in series here and here

It’s the most wearying time of the year
There’ll be lots of eye-rolling
As purity trolling
Kicks into high geeeeaaaar
It’s the most wearying time of the year!

It’s the slap-happiest season of all
contradictions are height’ning
While sphincters are tight’ning
O’er a third-party braaaawwwwl
It’s the slap-happiest season of all!

There’ll be lots of infighting
And personal slighting
And commenters throwing their poo
There’ll be jokes about Nader
And ‘bout how Darth Vader
Was lesser of two evils too

It’s the most tedious time of the year
And it’s so damn depressing
With Tru-Proggies prefacing
“Leader” with “Deeeeaaaar”
It’s the most tedious time of the year!

There’ll be snark about ponies
And such sanctimoni-
-Ousness it’s like give me a break
Yes, we’re all disappointed
But fuck self-anointed
Saviors of the Left with a rake

It’s the emo-iest time of the year
When the difference ‘tween that
And the fucking of rats
Ain’t entirely cleeeeaaaar
It’s the emo-iest time
Whine about O-iest time
Jesus Christ, I hate this time
Of the yeeeeeeaaaaaar!

DVD* BONUS SUPPLEMENTAL EXTRAS

Alternate deleted verse:
It’s the punch-hippiest season of all
And yeah, they’re kinda right
But this fight is so trite
It drives me up a waaaallll
It’s the punch-hippiest season of all!

Optional writer’s commentary:
See, this was originally supposed to be a little more even-handed, but y’know how when a comedian/satirist/whatever is lauded as an “equal-opportunity offender,” that’s an ironclad guarantee they’re not funny? Yeah.

*Divisive Vitriolic Dick

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