They Tried Sending Snooki a Carrier Pigeon, But It’s Now Nestling Next To The Mashed Potatoes

For one reason or another, we’ve turned our attention away from the loons at Conservatives4Palin since Snooki decided that presidentin’ wasn’t for her and she wanted to spend more time ... well, doing whatever it is that fills her time nowadays as she waits for a no longer enamored Roger Ailes to finally sack her from her lucrative but painfully pointless Fox gig.

You turn your back for a few weeks, and look what happens: arch holdout Palinbot Ian Lazaran has collected enough money from the still-willing dupes idling their lives away in his comments sections to encourage Snooki to come out of hiding and Run, Sarah, Run!!!! via a TV ad due to air by November 30, since there is apparently no other way for her remaining followers to reach her in her Alaskan fastness, or that Arizona hangout of hers, or wherever else she may be. Well, I guess she probably watches TV. But she may have trouble getting reception from Sioux City, Iowa.

We Now Have The Resources To Run The Palin Reconsider Television Ad In The Sioux City, Iowa Market Next Week

This is probably the weirdest Palin ad yet, and (perhaps wisely) doesn’t feature the famous screeched inanities that we’ve all grown to love and that send our critters cowering. In fact, you get no spoken words at all, just some gritty sound effects of a thousand Underpants Gnomes scratching their balls in unison, a burst of canned applause, followed by ultra-cheesy synth burbling transplanted from the 70s, and a taser sting to send you on your way.

What we do next after the television ad goes up is a more difficult question. If this ad is able to build some momentum for the Governor, the best way to keep that momentum going may be to commission a national GOP primary poll that includes the Governor as one of the options. We’ll see if it’s possible given our resources. We’re open to other ideas but the greatest challenge may be that time is running short for her to reconsider.

Like, I suspect, Ian Lazaran, I’ve no idea who they imagine that ad’s going to appeal to or what it’s going to achieve, but here’s some expert analysis from Smitty over at Stacy McCain’s dump (no link, you can Google the fecker), who’s wetting himself at the prospect of writing her name in, since she’s going to have trouble getting a slot on any caucus ballots at this late stage, let alone the Iowa one on January 3:

Theory: this is a little shot o’er the bow for the Dems, in case they hoist the Hillary flag.

That’s one way to get the first female president: both parties nominate a lady.

Posted by YAFB on 11/26/11 at 02:07 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaPoliblogsSkull Hampers

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That’s one way to get the first female president: both parties nominate a lady.

That’s no lady—that’s Sarah Palin!

There are few things more pitiful than a moony-eyed suitor who’s still sending candy and flowers to a girl who dumped him months ago.

Lazzy-baby, not only is she just not that into you, she’s left no forwarding address.  Time for a visit to the Clue shop.

I from time to time consider taking up jogging and brown rice just to live long enough to watch historians try and wrap their brains around this whole thing.

It’s going to be like trying to cover the Anti-Masonic Party, or the Know-Nothings, from a hundred and seventy years on.

My favorite part—we all have ours—is that trooly insane “ONE NATION, UNITED AGAIN,” for a candidate rejected by her own party, openly derided by the opposing party, and blatantly ignored by the “independents” in between. 

Or is that what they mean?  “We are united—again!—in our disdain for Palin”?  Somehow I don’t think so.  This is not only a suitor mooning for the gal who dumped him, but for an imaginary fantasy with whom, even in his fantasies, he was unable to get to first base.

Mr W, I think you’re wrong about indies ignoring her.  Democrats find her hilarious, indies are baffled and angered by the fact she was hauled on to the national stage.

I never thought much of John McCain before the Palin era. Now I will never forgive him for foisting Grandma Grifter on us.

That’s one way to get the first female president: both parties nominate a lady.

Eh, Mitt Romney will be dressing up like Mrs. Doubtfire and saying “I’ve ALWAYS been a woman, what flip-flop?” in a matter of months, if not weeks.

LMAO, Oblomova! I may have to Photoshop that.

Man, the smell of FAIL is overpowering at C4P these days.  Wondering if they’ll fade completely out or hang on with a few bitters for the next few years like some other blogs I can think of.

LMAO, Oblomova! I may have to Photoshop that.

Oh, please!  That would be hilarious!

Gotta hand it to the C4Pers for sheer persistence.  Their mothers must have had to potty-train them at gunpoint, because they will not let go.

I can’t believe you’re all falling for C4P’s devious charade—they are actually building a Sarah Palin ‘borg in a lab.  The only reason they haven’t unveiled it yet is it’s still making too much sense when you talk to it.

Since I actually have a life, I don’t know this Ian character but when I viewed this video I immediately thought this was an SNL-style satire.  I mean it was totally ludicrous.

My favorite part of the ad was the series of Rich Lowery style starbursts.  If we try just a little harder, maybe she’ll go out with us.

While we wait for Betty Cracker’s picture of Romney in drag, we may still enjoy this.

While we wait for Betty Cracker’s picture of Romney in drag, we may still enjoy this.

If you don’t mind, I’ll snaffle that for a post!

If you don’t mind, I’ll snaffle that for a post!

Be my guest.

its gonna be hilarious if you do that

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